(It has been a very harsh winter. I am washing dishes as well as collecting money at the drive through window, so I am constantly shivering due to my arms and hands being wet. This customer pulls up to the window with her daughter.)

Customer: “It must be really cold like that!”

Me: “It’s not too bad.”

Customer: *turns to her daughter* “Honey, this is why you MUST get good grades in school, so you don’t end up living a horrible life like her!”

(I am shocked and offended by what the customer has said to her daughter about me, right in front of me.)

Me: “You mean going to [Well-known Private University] and working to pay for tuition?”

Customer’s Daughter: *to her mom* “Didn’t Dad graduate from [Well-known Private University]?”

(The customer drove off once she paid, looking very sheepish. Her daughter now attends the same university as I do, but works in the cafeteria to pay for her tuition.)

Me: *ordering* “And lastly, I’d like the Dr. Pepper Vanilla Float.”

Employee: “Okay, what size?”

Me: “The smallest size you’ve got, please.”

Me: *picking up at the window* “Wow! This is huge, and this is the small?”

Employee: “It’s the large.”

Me: “Oh, remember, I ordered the smallest size.”

Employee: “It’s the only size we have.”

Me: *puzzled* “Then why did you ask me what size?”

Employee: “Because we have a regular and a large.”

Me: “Oh, then I’d like to have the regular one, please, since out of regular and large, regular is the smallest.”

Employee: *sighing and turning to a manager* “Can you help me with a refund? She ordered the wrong thing.”

(My family is eating at a [Fast Food Restaurant]. We are finishing our meal when a man who seems familiar to me walks up.)

Man: “Hey! If it isn’t the [Family Name]’s!”

Father: “Hey! What are you doing here?”

Man: “Oh, I’m taking my kids to their hockey game and we decided to stop here.”

Father: “Oh, cool. I remember when [My Name] did that.”

Man: “Oh, hey, [My Name].”

Me: “Hi.”

(We walk to the van, and I take my father aside.)

Me: “Dad, who were they again? I can’t remember their name.”

Father: “I was gonna ask you the same thing.”

(We get in the car.)

Mother: “Sweetie, what’s the family’s name again?”

Father: “I don’t know. I was gonna ask [My Name] but he doesn’t know either.”

(I’m ordering on a busy day at a popular sandwich chain.)

Me: “I’ll have the egg and cheese, please.”

(The worker puts an egg patty on my sandwich.)

Lady Behind Me: “Ew! Gross! What is that? WHY would you EAT that?”

Me: “Oh, it’s just an egg patty. They’re pretty tasty, actually.”

Lady Behind Me: *grumbles* “Gross.”

(I don’t think anything more of her until it is her time to order.)

Lady Behind Me: “Now, I want a chicken sandwich. But not that chicken. That chicken looks too pink. Do you have anything fresher and more well-cooked?”

Worker: “No, sorry, that’s the only chicken we have.”

Lady Behind Me: “FINE. But if I get food poisoning I’m coming back to sue you PERSONALLY. Now, I want two and a half slices of cheese on the bottom of my sandwich.”

(The worker starts putting cheese on.)

Lady Behind Me: “I said on the bottom!” *now screaming* “ON. THE. BOTTOM. HOW IS THAT SO HARD?!”

(I am now biting my tongue, despite being pretty shy about speaking to strangers. The worker moves the lady’s sandwich to the vegetables section.)

Lady Behind Me: “I want some shredded lettuce.”

(The worker puts a handful of lettuce on.)

Lady Behind Me: “More.”

(The worker adds another handful.)

Lady Behind Me: Less.

(The worker takes some off.)

Lady Behind Me: “More.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD. Go home and make your own f****** sandwich! There’s a grocery store next door. Go buy your own cheese and your own chicken and your own stupid lettuce and quit harassing the employees! As a bonus, you won’t have to look at ‘gross’ food like mine!”

(The customers who had been stuck behind her applaud slowly. The lady turns beet red and storms out, leaving her sandwich. The next customer points at me.)

Next Customer: “I’d like to pay for her sandwich, please!”

(I’m on a road trip with my mother and a friend and have stopped in to get an early lunch at a fast food restaurant. I’m pretty shy and I usually let someone else order for me but my mom has gone to a different place and my friend is as shy as me.)

Me: “Can I get a six-inch cheese sandwich?”

Employee: “Sure what else do you want on it?”

Me: “Nothing, just cheese.”

Employee: *looks at me like I’ve grown a second head* “Seriously? You are so weird; I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone order that before.”

Me: “Yep, just cheese.” *I smile awkwardly as I’m starting to get extremely uncomfortable*

Employee: *proceeds to make my sandwich but continues making comments about it* “I get a lot of strange orders but I think this is the strangest.”

(I’m wondering if she’s ever heard of a grilled cheese, or even a quesadilla for that matter.)

Employee: “Like, are you sure you don’t want anything else?”

Me: *starting to wonder if she’s on something* “Yes, I’m sure.”

(A few comments later, my friend and I finally got out, both thoroughly confused.)