One Burger With a Side Of Therapy, Please

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2018

(It’s my cousin’s birthday and to celebrate, I take her and a few of my siblings out to a local fast food place. They’re really young. The drive-thru is slammed, and the kids say they want to eat inside. We go in and get in line. In front of me is a man taking up the manager’s and cashier’s attention, by yelling and cursing at them for making his food wrong.)

Manager: “Sir, we’ve remade your food three times now.”

Customer: “Then you’d better make it right this time!”

Manager: “No, I’ve already wasted enough time on you!”

Customer: “I’m not leaving until I get my d*** order!”

(The manager takes his receipt and tells the kitchen precisely what is on the receipt, even jumping into the kitchen to help out. The customer turns to me and says:)

Customer: “Can you believe these people? Demanding fifteen dollars an hour to f*** up our orders three times?”

(I can’t help but say:)

Me: “Well, they’ll need it in order to afford the therapy for putting up with people like you.”

(The other customers and some of the employees laugh, and my siblings and cousin all yell “burn!” The guy grabs his wrong order off the counter and storms out of the restaurant, but not before calling me a few degrading names.)

Cashier: “I am so sorry about that, miss.”

Me: *shrugging* “It’s not your fault.”

(The manager came forward — still laughing — and apologized to the entire restaurant for having to deal with the customer. I was offered free desserts for my comeback, which was a nice gesture.)

The Chemicals Have Already Made It To Her Brain

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2018

(In the state of California, we are required by law to put up a warning if we have chemicals that can cause cancer — prop 65. The warning is only posted so consumers can make an informed decision about whether or not they want to make a purchase. These chemicals are usually trace amounts and not very harmful, but can be in large amounts. A customer notices this sign.)

Customer: “What are those chemicals?”

Me: “Well, we use chemicals to clean and sanitize, as do all restaurants.”

Customer: “What cleaning?”

Me: “Like soap to clean and sanitize the dishes and work areas. I don’t really know much about the warning.”

Customer: “But what about the cancer?”

Me: “I don’t really know much more than that, but you can look it up on the website there.”

Customer: “I want you to answer me! What chemicals?!”

Me: “I don’t really know. There’s a website for more information.”

Customer: “You’re supposed to know this! You work here and are trying to give me cancer!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t have more information. You can look on the website.”

(The customer PUT OUT HER CIGARETTE and walked into our bathroom mumbling something about cancer-causing chemicals. I wanted to tell her that there were more cancer causing chemicals in that cigarette than some soap and sanitizers, but I held my tongue.)

They’ll No Longer Be Serving The Swiss Family Robinson

, , , , , | Right | October 5, 2018

(I work in a popular food chain that tends to constantly change up what we offer on the menu.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Uh…” *long pause* “Yeah, uh, can I get a Swiss burger?”

Me: “I’m sorry. We no longer have the Swiss burger.”

Customer: “Uh… Okay… Uh, can I buy a plain cheese burger, and you can make it like a Swiss?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We no longer have the ingredients for it.”

Customer: *clearly sounding annoyed* “Well, what do you have?”

(I start to read the menu to him when he cuts me off.)

Customer: “I just really wanted the Swiss burger. Are you sure you don’t have it?”

Me: “Yes, it was discontinued.”

Customer: “Well, then, I guess you won’t have my business anymore, or my family’s. I’ll tell everyone I know to stay away from this place, since you like to take away my favorite food and refuse to make it for me. I’m calling corporate!

Transaction Inaction

, , , , , | Right | October 4, 2018

(I’m working the drive-thru during a Sunday lunch rush, and we get completely slammed with the line wrapped almost all the way around the building. We do not have the back window open because Sundays are usually pretty slow. I have a customer put in a huge order: around $40 with three large premium combos, two large salads, and a few large side items.)

Me: *over speaker* “All right, that’ll be [amount] at your second window. Thanks!”

Customer: “Oh! And if you charge that much, you better have my food out quickly. This is so expensive, and this is fast food, not slow food.”

(I do not respond to this right away because I’m handing out an order to a car at the window.)

Customer: “HELLO!”

Me: “We’ll do our best, sir.”

(The customer huffs and drives off. A few cars later he pulls up.)

Me: “Hi there! [Amount], please.”

Customer: *throws his card at me* “I know the f****** total. Hurry up!”

(I’m about to slide the card, but then he barks.)

Customer: “Hey! I only want [two large salads] and [one of the large combos] on this card. The rest in cash!”

Me: “Okay, sir, we can do that.”

(This is a very time-consuming process and the line is just getting longer. I have to void out all of the items he wants to pay in cash, which requires a manager ID. I then have to re-enter the voided items on a separate transaction, and with this, I have to make sure the cooks and the baggers know that this is still for the car at the window.)

Customer: “Quit chatting with your workers and hurry up!”

Me: *hands the card back to the customer* “Okay, sir, [amount] was charged on your card for…”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah. Just tell me what I owe in cash, b****! You’re taking way too long.”

Me: “[Amount around $20], please.”

Customer: *hands me a $100.00, which also requires a manager ID* “Here you go. Now hurry up!”

(I’m starting to lose my patience, but I count back the change for him. Luckily by this point all of his food is made, and my manager hands out the food while I hand out the change.)

Customer: “You guys are the slowest fast food place, and talk about overpriced! Give me a discount!”

Manager: “Well, sir, the transaction is complete. I’m sorry. We gave you some extra fries for the wait, though.”

Customer: “Bulls***! This is fast food, and look at all of these people who are waiting forever to because of your slowness.” *motions to all the cars behind him*

Manager: “Okay, sir. You first put in a huge order, and we’re obviously busy, so your food will take a little longer. And second, you were the one who held up the line by separating your transactions at the window. Next time, please do it at the speaker box. Have a good day now.” *slams window shut*

Repeating Yourself Like A Headless Chicken

, , , , | Right | October 4, 2018

(I work at a popular chicken restaurant. We currently have a special where there are several different meals that are $5 each. While working at the drive-thru I encounter a nightmare of a customer.)

Me: “Thanks for choosing [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like two of the five-dollar meals!”

Me: “Okay, which ones would you like?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Which five-dollar meals would you like?”

Customer: “Coleslaw and a soda with both.”

Me: “Okay, but which one did you want? We have the breast, the thigh and leg, and the three tenders.”

Customer: “THE CHICKEN ONE!”

Me: “But which one?! We have the one-piece breast, leg and thigh, and three tenders.”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s fine!”

Me: “Okay, pull around to the window.”

(My coworkers were laughing hysterically in the background as I banged my head on the counter in frustration.)

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