We have a new hire. Initially, she was open to working full-time for all shifts, which would mean any hours from 6:00 am starts to 4:00 am finishes. I don’t think she was ever scheduled that early or that late though. She was scheduled for some weekends, which is where the issues began.

She complained about it and soon started booking every weekend off. Then, she started booking random days off every week. [New Hire] was obviously trying to force management to give her very specific shifts. However, that couldn’t always be accommodated due to others needing hours and their scheduling requirements. But she got every day that she asked for off, sometimes more.

One time, I booked three days in a row for a vacation. This was my first request in months, and I was the first one to book them off, making sure to put a #1 beside my name on each day. The next time I saw the calendar, [New Hire] had crossed out my #1, changed it to a #2, and somehow squeezed her name in above mine with a #1 on all three days.

Guess which one of us got them off? I had to trade three shifts away.

To top it all off, she had the audacity to wonder why she wasn’t getting hours. Sweetie, it’s kind of hard to schedule someone who books half of every week off. You did this to yourself.

We have this regular customer who comes in and always pays cash. This on its own doesn’t make him stand out. What does is that he puts down a single bill, then changes his mind when the change is handed over, and swaps a bill out sometimes multiple times. He has confused several cashiers in the past, and we’ve eventually discovered that he is walking away with more money than when he came in.

He has done this enough times now that we recognize him, and I have informed all the staff that when he comes back, I will serve him as manager.

Today is that day, and I temporarily replace my cashier when he’s about to be served and start writing down some numbers.

Me: “Be with you in just a minute, sir.”

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Writing down the exact change you would need if you gave me either a $10 bill, $20 bill, or $50 bill, with or without the coins to try to get a clean bill back in change. This way, when you change your mind about what bills you’d like to use, which in the past has confused the cashier — almost by design — you won’t be walking away with extra money, and I am sure you don’t want that, do you, sir?”

Customer: “I… uh… no, I guess not.”

Me: “So, is that your usual double cheeseburger, hold the onion, extra pickle?”

He is obviously frazzled that I know his order so well.

Customer: “I… uh… I changed my mind. Not hungry.” *Slithers away*

I am working my last shift ever as an employee of a fast food restaurant. After a weekend off, I am to start my new job on Monday as a security guard.

I am down to the last two minutes of my shift when a young woman comes in.

Young Woman: “Are you taking applications?”

I hand her an application.

Me: “I have it on good authority that a spot will be opening up fairly soon.”

When I am done dealing with her, I turn to a person standing at the register with his coffee cup in hand. His face is red with anger.

Customer: “I’ve been standing here for five minutes waiting for a g**d*** refill while you’ve been flirting with the b****!”

First, I was not flirting. Second, it only took me a minute to deal with her, and he wasn’t there when I started. He’s been here for thirty seconds, tops.

Customer: “Hurry up and fill my cup, or I’ll be talking to your manager, and you’ll be fired!”

I look at my watch. I have about ten seconds left. I walk over to the register slowly and clock out.

Me: “That’s okay. I quit. Go f*** yourself.”

I laughed all the way home.

When I was fifteen, my first job was at a local fast food chain. The whole place was kind of shady, so I have plenty of stories about crazy people coming in. One of my first unfortunate experiences with customer service was when a lady came by and declared that she was gluten-free and couldn’t have our cones.

Me: “Okay! Would you like a cup, sundae, or blizzard instead?”

Customer: “No, I want a cone.”

I was confused and looked around for any of my coworkers to help. Unfortunately for me, they were busy.

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I want a cone without the cone.”

Me: “So, in a cup?”

Customer: “No.”

She began to get frustrated with me.

Customer: “I want a cone… without the cone. The ice cream.”

Me: “Right. Would you like that in a cup, then?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want a cup! I want a cone!”

I stared back at her blankly. I was being paid generously under minimum wage, and dealing with aggravated adults was not my specialty as a shy teen.

Me: “Do you want me to make you a cone and take the ice cream off with my bare hands and hand it to you, or would you like me to put it in a cup?”

She then began to scream at me, so I simply made her a cup of ice cream for free so she would leave. She threw the cup toward me and stomped away.

Customer: “You’re discriminating against gluten-free people! I will not be coming back!”

Me: “Okay!”

Certainly, an interesting experience. 

Related:
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 12
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 11
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 10
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 9
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 8

A woman with a seeing-eye dog gets in line at the fast food place where I work. An older woman and her granddaughter are in line ahead of her.

Customer’s Granddaughter: “Grandma, look! A doggie!”

Customer: “Ugh! That’s terrible!” *Pointing at me* “You! Call a manager! Someone has bought their dog into the restaurant!”

Me: “That’s a service animal, ma’am. They’re allowed in here.”

Customer With The Dog: “This is a working animal, ma’am. He’s here to help me.”

Customer: “That is not a working animal!”

Customer With The Dog: “And how would you know?”

Customer: “He is not working! He looks too happy!”

Customer With The Dog: “That… makes no sense. He’s working, and he’s allowed to be here by law, regardless of how happy you think he looks.”

Customer: “Hmph! Well, I don’t look that happy at work!”

Customer’s Granddaughter: *With childlike innocence* “Grandma, you don’t look happy anywhere!”

I’m glad I wasn’t on my break as I would have spat out my coffee!