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Me No Speak Americano

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work graveyards at a very busy location of a popular fast food restaurant in Canada. Our store is located quite close to a Korean shopping area, so we get a lot of Asian customers. Around two am an older, middle-aged Asian woman enters the lobby and comes up to me.)

Me: “Hi there, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “No English!” *gestures that she only knows some English*

Me: “All right, ma’am.”

Customer:“Ice cream!”

Me: “Which one would you like? We have—”

Customer: *interrupts* “Maple!”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have maple ice cream.” *gestures that we don’t have any”

Customer: “Ice cream! Maple!”

Me: “Ma’am, we do not have maple ice cream. We do have a maple latte and a maple pie.”

Customer: *gestures me to take the next order*

Me: *takes the order and turns back to the woman*

Customer: “Ice cream!”

(Due to her lack of English understanding, I wonder if she wants our current promotional ice cream, which doesn’t contain maple. So I gesture to the picture on the menu.)

Me: “Is this maybe what you wanted?”

Customer: “No, No! Oreo!”

Me: “All right, ma’am.” *turns around and grabs our two cup sizes* “Which size?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Ma’am, which size?”

Customer: *gestures to larger size* “Two!”

Me: “Is that everything?”

Customer: *nods*

Me: “All right, your total comes to $[total].”

(Customer pulls out a card, and I press the corresponding button on my POS. She inserts her card then continues to look at the menu.)

Customer: *points behind me to our muffin display* “Muffin!”

Me: *walks over to display and points at the muffin I assume she was pointing at* “This one?”

Customer: “Blue! Blue!”

Me: “A blueberry muffin? Anything else?”

Customer: “Two!”

(Because she hadn’t finished payment, I cancel it and enter in the two muffins, while giving her the new total. By the time I am done, she has returned her card back into her wallet.)

Me: “Ma’am, you still need to pay. Please put your card in here.” *gestures to card reader*

Customer: *takes her card back out and enters it into card reader, presses a few buttons, then continues to look at the menu*

Customer: “Americano!”

Me: *sighs* “All right, ma’am.” *cancels payment again since she hadn’t finished* “What size?”

Customer: “Small!”

Me: *punches it into the system* “Your new total is $[total].”

(Her card is still in the reader, so I take it out, press the button on my POS, and put it back in. She doesn’t add anything else, so I go and start on the other customers order, and hand it out. I return to the POS and the payment hadn’t gone through.)

Me: “It didn’t go through; would you like to try again?”

Customer: *takes her card out and puts it back in*

(I restart the payment, walking her through the buttons to press until it gets to the pin screen. She enters her pin and it goes through. By this time her ice cream is done by my coworkers, so I hand it out to her, and tell her the rest is coming up.)

Customer: “I go sit!” *starts walking away*

Me: “Ma’am! Please stay here; your order is almost done!”

Customer: *walks back to counter* “Sorry! Drunk!”

Me: *thinking it all makes sense now*

(I grab her muffins and hand it to her.)

Me: “Here are the muffins; it’ll be just a minute for the Americano. Please wait here, ma’am.”

Customer: “I sit?”

Me: “No, ma’am, please wait here.”

(I go and get her Americano, and hand it to her.)

Me: “Here you are!”

(Looking at her two ice cream and Americano, I decide to get her a drink tray so she doesn’t drop anything. I put them in the tray and hand it to her.)

Me: “There you are. Now, be careful; the Americano is hot!”

Customer: *starts walking away* “Thank you!”

Me: *turning towards my manager* “That took WAY too long!”

(Thankfully the night went smoothly after that.)

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I Spit On Your Service

| Victoria, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I take an order for a couple for two burgers to go and after receiving their order they leave. I go in the back to make my food for a break and hear over the speaker:)

Customer: *in drive-thru* “We just ordered two burgers and they are cold and dry.”

Drive-Thru Operator: “Sir, I’m sorry. We’ll fix that for you.”

(The drive-thru operator and cook make sure to add lots of sauce and heat the burger in the microwave. I’m now seated near the door on my break. The customer storms into the store and throws the bag onto the counter.)

Customer: “We were hungry; do you know what that’s like? You should have just spit in it. That’s what we did when I worked at [Different National Chain]!” *storms out*

Me: *to manager also on break* “Do we get in trouble for being told we should have spit in someone’s food?”

Manager: “…I don’t think so.”

Me: “Remind me not to eat at [Different National Chain].”

Manager: “Probably a good idea.”

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This Story Has Yet To Be Title

, | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I am the night shift manager at a fast food restaurant. The corporate office had just started a new advertising campaign, and while not openly sexual, it is filled with innuendo. I get a phone call about 10 minutes before closing.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I AM REALLY PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW! My children were watching TV this afternoon when your commercial came on. I cannot believe you would expose my kids to sex like that. I want you to take the commercial down, RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Sir, this is a local store, so it has no control over the TV ads. The corporate office in Southern California produces and purchase all the advertising time for all of [Restaurant]. I would be happy pass of your name and number; that way they can put you in touch with the appropriate person.”

Caller: “THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I want this ad taken off TV right now. You need to get on the phone and call the TV station and tell them to pull this filth off the TV, RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, sir, but I’m just a shift manager at a local store. We are a franchise location with no direct link to the corporate office in Southern California. I simply do not have the authority to make anyone pull these ads, nor does anyone else at this location. The franchise office might be able to help you. Their number is [number], and they open at eight am. You can tell them how you feel in the morning.”

Caller: “HOW CAN YOU ALLOW MY CHILDREN TO BE EXPOSED TO THIS SMUT?! If you cared about your customers you wouldn’t hide behind “authority.” You would listen to your customers, do your job, and have this smut pulled from the TV, RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, sir, but—”

Caller: “BUT NOTHING. GET IT PULLED RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Sir, I’m a 19 year old college student working at a fast food joint. I agree with you that the new ad campaign is kind of inappropriate, but the TV networks simply aren’t going to allow me to call them up at 11:50 at night and have them pull advertisement paid for by someone else. If you give me your name and number I will ask the franchise office to contact you tomorrow, or you can call them at [number], or you can call the corporate office in Southern California at [a phone number I’m never supposed to give out], or you can even file a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission.”

Caller: “I WANT IT OFF THE AIR NOW! If you cared about my kids or your job, you would do it NOW! IF YOU DON’T DO IT NOW, I WILL GET YOU FIRED!”

Me: “Okay, sir, I will pass on your complaint.”

Caller: *all of a sudden he speaks in an almost hushed tone* “You know you’re going to Hell now, right…?” *click*