Needs A Prompt For Being Prompt

, | Working | July 5, 2013

Me: “Hey, [supervisor], I noticed that it is time for [coworker] to be here to send me home. Have we heard from her?”

Supervisor: “Yes.”

Me: “Oh okay, cool! I can stay if she’s running a bit late, but not too long as I have an appointment across town.”

Supervisor: “That’s fine. You’ll be able to leave soon.”

(About an hour passes, and there’s no sign of my coworker.)

Me: “[Supervisor], I really need to head out soon. Do you know if [coworker] is coming?”

Supervisor: “Oh my God, [my name], you are being so annoying! I told her not to come in for a couple more hours because labor is too high right now!”

Me: “But I need to leave.”

Supervisor: “Well, you should have given me a week’s notice that you’d have to go home on time today! Don’t be stupid!”

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It’s How Coworkers Say Yello

, | Working | July 4, 2013

(We have a very high turn-over rate with young new employees. I come in one morning right at opening to pick up food to-go, but the new employee can’t seem to ring in my order right.)

New Employee: “So, it’s a number 6.”

Me: “Number 10.”

New Employee: “Right, number 2.”

Me: “Number 10.”

New Employee: “Oh! Number 10… with a side of sausage.”

Me: “Side of gravy.”

New Employee: “A side of sausage and a side of gravy.”

Me: “That’s not right. Let’s start over.”

(After another few painstaking minutes it’s still not rung in right and I am out of patience.)


(In seconds, the manager comes running up front, gasping for breath.)

Manager: “What is it? What happened?”

Me: “Please… please help the new kid ring in my order so I can eat and go to school!”

(The manager rings in the order, gives me a discount and brings out my food while the new employee stands their gawking.)

New Employee: “You… how did you know who the manager was this morning?”

Manager: “Oh, she works here too. She has opened with me every Monday morning for the past year!”

Me: “I also know he likes to listen to his iPod while he counts drawers, so the only way to get his attention is to shriek like a banshee.”

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Hostile In Translation

, | Working | July 3, 2013

(My girlfriend speaks Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese, but not English. Except for a few words, she doesn’t speak or understand English at all. This happens at a restaurant.)

Cashier: “Is that all?”

Me: *to my girlfriend in Portuguese* “Do you want anything, sweetie?”

My Girlfriend: *in Portuguese* “French fries and three cookies.”

(Before I can repeat her order, the cashier interrupts.)

Cashier: “What did she just say?!”

Me: “She said she wants french fries and three cookies. Make her fries the same size as mine, please.”

Cashier: “No! Why can’t she order herself? What’s wrong with her? She should speak English!”

Me: “Well, she can speak three languages, but English is not one of them. Now, could you please?”

Cashier: “No! Not until she speaks English! If she can’t speak English, she shouldn’t be in this country! She should go back to Mexico!”

(My girlfriend recognizes the word ‘Mexico’.)

My Girlfriend: “No, no. Portugal, Portugal. Portuguese. Spanish, Italian, Portuguese. No Mexico.”

Cashier: “What?”

Me: “She’s trying to tell you she comes from Portugal and speaks those three languages. Her family is blended of those nationalities and that’s why she knows them. But that’s doesn’t matter. Not wanting to serve my girlfriend because she can’t speak English is discrimination.”

Cashier: “Well, you should get some friends who speak English! Not my fault you choose stupid friends! You’re an American woman! You shouldn’t speak anything but English!”

Me: “I can speak whatever language I want. I happen to be very fluent in all the languages my girlfriend speaks. But I’m not going to stand here and argue with you. Please cancel my order.” *to my girlfriend in Portuguese* “Let’s get ice cream instead, okay? There’s an ice cream shop down the street.”

(After we get outside, my girlfriend says to me in Portuguese…)

My Girlfriend: “I have no clue what either of you said, but I know that woman didn’t like me. I’m not mad. We have idiots like that in Portugal too.”

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Using Her Outside Voice

, | Right | July 1, 2013

(It is very early in the morning, and most of our customers are elderly folks coming in to drink coffee and socialize. A very sweet older customer comes to my register.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am! How are you today?”

Customer: “My aren’t you chipper in the morning! I’m doing pretty good this morning dear; how are you today?”

Me: “I’m just great; thank you for asking. How can I help you this morning, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well I’m not too hungry just yet, so I think I will just have one small coffee for now.”

(I ring her in, and tell her the total. She begins slowly taking coins out of her purse, so I turn to make her coffee. I can hear her mumbling to herself. I assume she is counting, until I return with her coffee only to catch the tail end of a string of obscenities.)

Customer: “D*** f****** dime! Where the f****** h*** is a penny! Stupid little b******!”

(I am dumbstruck as the sweet little lady continues to mumble to herself while counting out her change. Finally, she finishes counting and she notices the look on my face.)

Customer: “Oh my, I wasn’t speaking out loud again, was I?”

(I nod slowly.)

Customer: “Oh, goodness! I’m sorry you had to hear that! I wasn’t saying anything bad about you; you’re such a sweet girl. It’s just I’m so d*** old and I can’t f****** see. It’s just so frustrating! Well, have a great morning dear!”

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Ironic That She Wants A RACE Car

| Right | July 1, 2013

(I work at a fast food establishment that gives out toys with their kids meals. This particular month, we have dolls, or toy cars. There are four dolls in the set; two are white, one is Asian, and one is black. On this day, we only have the black doll in stock.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like a different doll, please.”

Me: “Sorry, those are the only dolls we have available right now.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I can see one right there.”

(The customer points to the toy display case.)

Me: “Those are for display only, sorry.”

Customer: “Open your f****** case, and get me another doll! I don’t want my daughter playing with some n***** doll!”

Me: “I’m sorry; we really don’t have any other doll. If you like, hang on to it, and come back next week when we get our new toys. You can switch it then.”

Customer: “Not good enough; I want a manager!”

(I go into the back, and explain to a black staffer—who happens to be built like a tank—what is happening. I ask him to go up front and pretend to be the manager.)

Coworker: “My employee explained the situation. What would you like me to do about it?”

Customer: *turns red and looks completely terrified* “I’d like to switch this for a car, please?”

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