He Obviously Gets His Smarts From Mom

, , , | Right | June 19, 2008

Little Boy: “Can I have a medium Icee?”

Me: “Sure! That’ll be $1.48.”

(The little boy hands me $1.50 and I give him his change. He scampers off to get his Icee as his dad stomps up.)

Dad: “Can I get another medium Icee for my daughter?”

Me: “Sure, It’s $1.48.”

(The dad pays and I give him his cup. By this time the boy is back, happily drinking his Icee and standing next to his dad.)

Dad: *rudely* “WELL?! Where’s my Icee?!”

Me: *confused* “Uh, the cup is right there, sir.”

(The little boy is trying to get his dad’s attention to tell him where the self-serve Icee machine is located. However, the dad is ignoring him and yelling at me.)

Dad: “I PAID FOR AN ICEE, NOW WHERE IS MY ICEE!?”

Me: “Sir, the machine is around the corner.”

Dad: “Finally! God, are you simple or something?!”

Me: “?!”

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Don’t Press Your Luck

, , | Right | June 19, 2008

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Place]. May I take your order?”

Drive-thru Customer: “Yeah, I’ll take the double cheeseburger.”

Me: “Okay, would you like to make it a value meal?”

Drive-thru Customer: *screaming* “DON’T INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE! IF I WANTED A VALUE MEAL, I WOULD HAVE SAID VALUE MEAL!”

Me: “Fine, that will be $1.87 at window two.”

(He drives up, I take his money and hand him the food.)

Drive-thru Customer: “I’m gonna need ketchup for the fries.”

Me: “Sir, you only ordered the sandwich, not the value meal. I can ring up an order of fries now if you’d like.”

Drive-thru Customer: “No, you screwed up my order! I’m NOT paying for extra fries!”

(Fed up, I throw some fries in a bag and hand them to him.)

Drive-thru Customer: “Wait, is it too late to substitute onion rings?”

Me: *slams window shut*

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Catastrophe Averted

, | Right | June 10, 2008

(I work at a fast food restaurant and was taking money. My co-worker was taking drive-thru orders right beside me.)

Coworker: “Hi there, welcome to ***. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Give me one ranch wrap. That’s all.”

Coworker: “Would you like your wrap crispy or grill?”

Customer: “No, I want it ranch.”

Coworker: “Yes, but would you like the chicken crispy or grilled?”

Customer: “RANCH!”

Coworker: “CRISPY OR GRILLED?”

Customer: “LISTEN TO ME, YOU LITTLE SH–oh, um, crispy…”

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Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota, Part 3

, | Right | June 9, 2008

Me: “Hello ma’am, and welcome to ***. What can I get for you today?”

Woman w/ son: “I’d like two burgers, one of them on a sesame-seedless bun, please.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but we’re actually out of seedless buns right now.”

Woman w/ son: “How dare you! My son has deathly allergies to a lot of things, I’ll have you know!”

Me: “Ma’am, is he allergic to sesame seeds?”

Woman w/ son: “No, he isn’t.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, the only difference between seeded and seedless buns are the sesame seeds, so it will be fine for your son to eat one with seeds.”

Woman w/ son: “HOW F**KING DARE YOU! YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT MY SON CAN OR CANNOT EAT! I WANT A SEEDLESS BUN, D**N YOU! GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “Yes, of course. Just one moment.”

(I go and get the manager and explain the situation. My manager, NOT a people person, grabs a seeded bun and proceeds to the front with a knife.)

Manager: “HERE IS YOUR D**N SEEDLESS BUN!”

(My manager slices off the top half of the bun and throws it on the counter.)

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Woman w/ son: “Oh, shut the f**k up.”

 

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He Does Have A Good Point

, | Right | June 5, 2008

(A man walks through the service door into the kitchen of the restaurant. I work the drive-thru, right next to the service door.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Man: “Hi, I’d like to order some food.”

Me: “Um, I think you went in the wrong door, sir.”

Man: “No, I didn’t. That door says ‘service’ on it.”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to go up front to the dining room.”

Man: “Can’t you just take my order here?”

Me: “Um, I suppose…”

(I take his order, make his drink, and the cooks make his food. I hand it to him.)

Man: “Thanks! I’ll be sure to come back!”

Me: “Can you use the main door next time?”

Man: “Why? I got such good service through the service door!”

(As soon as he left the cooks and I burst out laughing.)

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