Enough Bong For Your Buck

, | Selkirk, MB, Canada | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid

(I am working in the drive-thru section of our store. My coworker is taking the order as the customer is at the speaker box.)

Coworker: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. [Coworker] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ll take a glass of bong water!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Haha, just give me a cup of water.”

Coworker: “Okay… anything else?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Coworker: “Okay, please drive to the window.”

(At the window…)

Coworker: *gives customer the cup of water*

(The customer drives into the parking lot.)

Coworker: *to me* “That guy had a bong right on his lap. He and his buddies in the car are seriously about to go do drugs in the parking lot.”

Me: “I’m astounded at how stupid they are. Let’s call the police.”

(We called the police, and they came within a few minutes. They searched the car and drove the impaired guys home. We don’t know any details about how they were charged. When my coworker was taking out the garbage, he overheard the guy complaining because he would have to go get more drugs now.)

Crashed Diet, Part 2

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a concessions worker at a local baseball stadium. While the majority of our customers are very polite, one woman is known to be difficult. Today, she is complaining about our ice cream selections, which have been the same for the past four years.)

Customer: “Is your ice cream low carb?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the ice cream is not low carb. We do have sugar-free Italian ice at the stand behind you.”

(Note: The Italian ice stand is roughly ten feet away and clearly visible.)

Customer: “I really don’t want to walk that far today. It’s a hot day, you know. I just want low carb ice cream!”

Me: “I apologize, but we do not serve low carb ice cream.”

Customer: “But I had it last time! It was here, and now you won’t sell it to me!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have worked here for the past eight months, and I assure you that we have never sold low carb ice cream. We have carried the same three flavors since the stadium opened. Now, if you would like to order something else, I would be happy to get it for you. Otherwise, please step to the side and let another customer order.”

Customer: *sighs exaggeratedly* Fine! I guess I’ll just have to get something ELSE, because you don’t have any ICE CREAM!”

Me: “If you’d like another low carb option, we do have a—”

Customer: “I’ll have a large funnel cake with whipped cream and fried oreos. Oh, and a salted pretzel. With cheese!”

Related:
Crashed Diet

Don’t Drive Fast(food)

, | Everett, WA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, would you like to try [New Sandwich we are promoting] today?”

Customer: “No thanks, I’m driving.”

A Cold Assumption

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, School

(It has been a very harsh winter. I am washing dishes as well as collecting money at the drive through window, so I am constantly shivering due to my arms and hands being wet. This customer pulls up to the window with her daughter.)

Customer: “It must be really cold like that!”

Me: “It’s not too bad.”

Customer: *turns to her daughter* “Honey, this is why you MUST get good grades in school, so you don’t end up living a horrible life like her!”

(I am shocked and offended by what the customer has said to her daughter about me, right in front of me.)

Me: “You mean going to [Well-known Private University] and working to pay for tuition?”

Customer’s Daughter: *to her mom* “Didn’t Dad graduate from [Well-known Private University]?”

(The customer drove off once she paid, looking very sheepish. Her daughter now attends the same university as I do, but works in the cafeteria to pay for her tuition.)

Not Too Chicken To Confront About The Chicken

, | Lethbridge, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m ordering on a busy day at a popular sandwich chain.)

Me: “I’ll have the egg and cheese, please.”

(The worker puts an egg patty on my sandwich.)

Lady Behind Me: “Ew! Gross! What is that? WHY would you EAT that?”

Me: “Oh, it’s just an egg patty. They’re pretty tasty, actually.”

Lady Behind Me: *grumbles* “Gross.”

(I don’t think anything more of her until it is her time to order.)

Lady Behind Me: “Now, I want a chicken sandwich. But not that chicken. That chicken looks too pink. Do you have anything fresher and more well-cooked?”

Worker: “No, sorry, that’s the only chicken we have.”

Lady Behind Me: “FINE. But if I get food poisoning I’m coming back to sue you PERSONALLY. Now, I want two and a half slices of cheese on the bottom of my sandwich.”

(The worker starts putting cheese on.)

Lady Behind Me: “I said on the bottom!” *now screaming* “ON. THE. BOTTOM. HOW IS THAT SO HARD?!”

(I am now biting my tongue, despite being pretty shy about speaking to strangers. The worker moves the lady’s sandwich to the vegetables section.)

Lady Behind Me: “I want some shredded lettuce.”

(The worker puts a handful of lettuce on.)

Lady Behind Me: “More.”

(The worker adds another handful.)

Lady Behind Me: Less.

(The worker takes some off.)

Lady Behind Me: “More.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD. Go home and make your own f****** sandwich! There’s a grocery store next door. Go buy your own cheese and your own chicken and your own stupid lettuce and quit harassing the employees! As a bonus, you won’t have to look at ‘gross’ food like mine!”

(The customers who had been stuck behind her applaud slowly. The lady turns beet red and storms out, leaving her sandwich. The next customer points at me.)

Next Customer: “I’d like to pay for her sandwich, please!”

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