(I’m a 19-year-old closing shift manager, who has one other employee with me. I come from a very strict religious family, in a very conservative town, so I can say that I’m a bit naive about certain things. One night just as I am walking to lock the doors at 10:58 pm, someone walks up and catches me.)

Customer: “Aww, are you closing? I just wanted a couple of burgers.”

Me: *thinking that technically we had two minutes* “Well we are about to close, but we can make a couple of burgers. No problem.”

Customer: *at the register* “Okay, let me have 18 burgers, 16 fries, 2 onion rings and 18 [Soda]s.”

Me: *knowing that once he is in the store, by policy I have to serve him, I’m fuming* “Okay, sir, but that is a lot of food, and we aren’t set up for that much. Everything has to be cooked from scratch. It’s going to take quite some time.” *hoping he will change his mind*

Customer: “That’s okay. I’ll wait…”

(After spending almost twenty minutes cooking all this food, it’s finally ready.)

Me: *trying to hide my anger at having to stay well past the end of my shift* “Thank you for you order; here you go.”

Customer: “Hey, thanks, dude. Here, I have a tip for you, since you were so nice to stay and cook for me.”

(The then hands me a small envelope. I just want him to leave, so I can go home, so I take it and walk him out. I head back to the office and start with my closing duties.)

Fellow Employee: “So what did that guy give you in the envelope?”

Me: “I don’t know. I didn’t look.” *opening the envelope, it’s full of marijuana, which I’ve actually never seen before in my life* “What the heck is this?”

Fellow Employee: “Well, that explains a lot.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Fellow Employee: “He had the munchies…” *turning around, leaving me holding my first and last bag of weed*

(It’s the weekend and my mom and I are at home while Dad is checking on something at his job. My mom decides to go to a burger drive-thru place to get some lunch.)

Worker #1: “Hello! What can I get you?”

Mom: “Hi, I’d like a #2 combo with nothing on it, and a cheeseburger.”

Worker #1: “So.. two combos?”

Mom: “No, a #2 combo with nothing on it, and just a cheeseburger.”

Worker #1: “Okay, hold on.”

(There’s some shuffling in the background as my mom waits.)

Worker #2: “Okay, what can I get for you today?”

Mom: “A #2 combo with nothing on the cheeseburger and a normal cheeseburger.”

Worker #2: “So, two #2 combos?”

Mom: “No, only one #2 combos, and there’s nothing on that. The other is just a cheeseburger.”

Worker #2: “Okay, I think I got it. That’ll be [total].”

(When she got home, they had given us two combos, but not charged us for them. I opened my burger, to discover a single piece of onion.)

I order in the drive-thru of a burger place. I find out it’s only two coupons per car, so I tell the lady working that I’ll be driving through again. When I get to the window and pay, she asks me to park in the parking lot to wait for my food. I agree and park.

I’m looking at stuff on my phone for a bit when she comes out to give someone else their order. When she sees me she asks “You haven’t gotten your food yet?” I say no and she leaves to check on my food. When she comes back she says it’ll only be a little bit and asks for the other coupon. I show it to her and she tells me that it’ll be free for the long wait.

When I arrive home with the food, I realize she upgraded the small fries of the last coupon to a large and added a Snickers pie.

I don’t know how long I waited for, but I’m sure it wasn’t for as long as she seemed to think it was.

(I tend to be a fast walker and also rather clumsy; usually I drop things or bump into things. I’m an average sized woman who does not own a lick of makeup. On this particular occasion my boyfriend, an over six foot tall military veteran who lives out of town, is down for a visit which I’ve been excitedly babbling about to my coworkers. Just after parking the car I’m looking at him with those sappy, lovey dovey eyes while walking around the car and walk right into a pole. Because I was looking at him the pole hit the side of my face, causing my glasses bridge to punch right where eye socket meets nose. Needless to say I have a pretty nasty bruise on the side of my face and a black eye. This conversation happens several times, almost verbatim, at work.)

Coworker: “Oh, my gosh, [My Name]! What happened to your face?!”

Me: “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and walked right into a pole.”

Coworker: *looks me over, then gets real close to talk more quietly* “It’s okay, you can tell me the truth.”

Me: “[Coworker], this is me we’re talking about.”

Coworker: “Yeah… you would walk face first into a pole.”

(It is seven am, Halloween morning, during the start of our breakfast rush. We park two cars, one for a large order and one for two hash browns.)

Employee: *comes back inside after bringing the two bags out to the cars* “I think you guys handed me the wrong order. The woman gave me a receipt for a large order but the man said he didn’t have two hash browns either. The man stuck the bag with the big order between his legs. I asked for the receipt and food but he wouldn’t give me either.”

Man: *on cue* “I want my f****** food! I got the wrong order!”

Employee: “I was trying to get the receipt, sir, but can we get the bag back?”

Man: *in a smug tone* “Oh, bite me.”

Me: “Okay, sir; just let me see your receipt and I will gladly get it to you.”

Man: “I JUST WANT MY F****** FOOD!”

Me: “I understand, sir. I can go ahead and print the receipt for you if you’d like. Just let me know what items you had and I can get it for you.”

Man: “Are you f****** kidding me? JUST GIVE ME MY FOOD!”

Me: “Sir, I will. I just need to know what you had so I can get it for you.”

Man: “This is f****** stupid. You won’t give me my food!” *stomps out of the store, never bringing the bag with the wrong order back*

Woman: *comes inside* “I’ve been waiting for my order for a while now.”

Me: *utterly perplexed* “I… I believe that man just left with your food. But don’t worry, ma’am, I’ve got it for you.”