Can’t Spell Without Without With

, | Right | October 6, 2011

(A customer pulls up in our drive thru. Note that our bacon cheeseburger is made exactly the same as our cheeseburger, except for the bacon. The bacon cheeseburger is also more expensive.)

Me: “Hi there, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon. Just mayonnaise and ketchup.”

Me: “Okay, so a cheeseburger with only mayo and ketchup.”

Customer: “No, a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon, and only mayonnaise and ketchup.”

Me: “Well, our cheeseburger is made exactly the way we make our bacon cheeseburger, except it has bacon on it and it costs more. So a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon is a cheeseburger.”

Customer: “NO! You don’t understand! I want a BACON CHEESEBURGER, with NO BACON, just mayonnaise and ketchup!”

Me: “I understand ma’am, but if I charge you for a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon, it’s more expensive than buying a cheeseburger, which is the same thing.”

Customer: “I DON’T CARE! I want a bacon cheeseburger with NO BACON! Just mayonnaise and ketchup!”

Me: “All right then.” *charges her for a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon* “That will be $*.** at the first window.”

(The customer comes up to the window and reads her receipt, looking satisfied.)

Customer: “Now, was that so hard?”

1 Thumbs
1,872

Vulgar Verbage

, | Right | September 30, 2011

(I am making casual conversation with a pleasant customer, who is however, somewhat odd. At some point, a coworker of mine joins the conversation.)

Customer: “Hey, those shirts look kinda tight on you guys.”

Me: “Yeah, the green sizes run smaller than the blue ones, I think.”

(The customer points to my coworker.)

Customer: “Yeah, her shirt is like, vagina-ing open on her chest.”

1 Thumbs
745

Simple Menus Vs. The Simple-Minded

, | Right | September 28, 2011

(Our shop has a very basic menu of chicken burgers, chips, and chicken pieces.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I don’t know what this is…”

(The customer stares blankly at the menu for about 10 seconds.)

Customer: “No. No! I don’t know what any of this is!” *walks away*

Me: *speechless*

1 Thumbs
1,224

Give Me Whatever Moos, Part 2

, | Right | September 21, 2011

(I’m working the drive thru. We only have 2 kinds of chicken sandwiches: grilled and crispy.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like an original chicken sandwich, please.”

Me: “The grilled chicken or the crispy chicken?”

Customer: “The original chicken sandwich.”

Me: “I’m sorry, grilled or crispy chicken?”

(The customer starts listing his toppings.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, I need to know if it’s grilled chicken or crispy chicken.”

Customer: “No, the original chicken. The burger. We are talking about beef, right?”

 

1 Thumbs
1,670

Do Unto Others

, | Right | September 19, 2011

(This takes place toward the end of my shift in the drive-thru. Everything has been slow for awhile.)

Customer: “Two cheeseburgers and that’ll be it.”

Me: “Okay sir, your total will be–”

(The customer drives ahead to the window before I can finish.)

Me: “Evening, sir. Your total will be $2.14.”

Customer: “I KNOW how to add!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t give you your total.”

Customer: *hands me money* “I know, I’m sorry.”

Me: *makes change* “Long day?”

Customer: “Yeah, lot of customers being a**holes.”

Me: “Yeah. I know the feeling. Have a nice day!”

1 Thumbs
3,296