If You Can’t Stand The Heat, Stay Out Of The Microwave

, | Working | June 11, 2012

(I’m at a fast food restaurant having a meal with my family.)

Me: “This chocolate turnover would taste better if it was warm.”

Stepfather: “Ask them to heat it up. The worst they can say is no.”

(I ask the nearest employee if they can heat up the turnover.)

Employee #1: “Sure!”

(As promised, Employee #1 puts the turnover in the microwave. However, he soon returns without the turnover.)

Employee #1: “I…um…your turnover caught on fire.”

Me: “What?”

(Overhearing this, another employee speaks up.)

Employee #2: *to Employee #1* “Did you put it on our wrapping paper?”

Employee #1: “Yes.”

Employee #2: “The wrapping paper with ALUMINUM FOIL on it?”

Employee #1: “Yes…”

(To this day, my family’s new saying is “The worst that can happen is that your turnover will catch on fire!”)

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Working Like A Dog

, | Right | June 11, 2012

(At our fast food restaurant, a customer walks in with a seeing eye dog. It’s in training with a clearly-marked blue vest and two trainers. However, a customer behind her begins complaining.)

Customer: “Man, I thought your sign said dogs ain’t allowed!”

Me: *to a trainer* “Ma’am, it’s a working dog in training, correct?”

Trainer: “Yes. She has to be trained in public before they’ll allow her to go to a patient.”

Me: “Sir, she’s a working dog. They’re allowed in public buildings by state law.”

Customer: “Man, that’s bulls***!”

Me: “Why’s that, sir?”

Customer: “That dog don’t work here!”

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Would You Like Brains With That

, | Right | June 10, 2012

(Our store usually sells side orders with several meals: three hot and one cold. One night, both of our microwaves have broken so we can only offer coleslaw.)

Me: “Unfortunately all our hot sides are gone today. I’m afraid I can only offer you coleslaw or extra fries as options.”

Customer: “Can I swap the coleslaw for a gravy?”

Me: “I’m afraid not; all our hot sides are unavailable. Are you okay with coleslaw or extra fries?”

Customer: “Oh, no hot sides…can I have beans, then?”

Me: “No. Sorry, as I mentioned you can only choose from coleslaw or extra fries. So, which would you like?”

Customer: “I don’t really like coleslaw or fries…can I have a corn instead?”

Me: “Um, no, you can’t. As I’ve already explained, we don’t have any hot side orders: just coleslaw or extra fries today. I’m sorry about that.”

Customer: “Well, you should have said something, then!”

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Weekly Roundup: So Long, Sexism

, , , , , | Right | June 10, 2012

So Long, Sexism: This week, we feature five stories of employees dealing with (and often overcoming) sexist remarks from customers!

  1. The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back:
    A sexist fast food customer faces women in power–everywhere!
  2. The Land Of Milk And Money:
    Don’t have a cow, man–ladies understand farming, too.
  3. Cross-Platform Chromosomes:
    Games may be platform-specific, but video gamers are gender neutral!
  4. Now Accepting Immigrants From Femmerica:
    News flash from Bigotland: half of America ain’t American.
  5. The Spice Girls Have A Lot To Answer For:
    Yes, “Ladies go first”–except when they’re cutting in line!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

A Foregone Confusion

, | Working | June 9, 2012

Me: “I’d like a hamburger, small fries and a small [Soda] to go.”

Employee: “A hamburger. Would you like fries with that?”

Me: “Yes, a small fry and a small [Soda] to go.”

Employee: “What size fries would you like?”

Me: “Small…and a small [Soda]. To go.”

Employee: “Would you like something to drink?”

Me: “Yes, a small [Soda]. To go.”

Employee: “What size [Soda] would you like?”

Me: “Small. To go.”

Employee: “Would you like that for here or to go?”

Me: “You know… I knew you were going to ask me that.”

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