Shoot First, Ask Questions Later

, | Working | July 11, 2014

(It has been a really busy day and we are backed up about 30 minutes per-order. We have about five mini pepperoni pizzas left.)

Me: “So, this is nothing compared to how Superbowl Sunday will be?”

Supervisor: “Nope. It’s gonna be rough.”

Me: “Man, can I just shoot myself now?”

Supervisor: “NO! Wait until you are outside… and you have to get me first.”

Me: “Aw, I don’t want to hurt you.”

(My supervisor drops three of the last pepperoni mini-pizzas.)

Me: “Never mind. You first.”

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Late Down To The Lockdown

, | Working | July 7, 2014

(I’m one of three people working the opening shift. Since the two managers arrive first, they’re supposed to unlock the doors every day for us employees. On this particular morning, the front door is locked. I go around back to the employee entrance and find it is also locked. A few attempts at knocking prove fruitless, so I finally come around to the drive-through window, where I can see the managers and vaguely hear a conversation.)

Manager #1: *checking the clock* “Where’s [My Name]? She’s five minutes late! She’s NEVER late!”

(At this point, I knock on the window.)

Manager #1: “[Manager #2], you get it. Tell them we’re a little short today.”

Manager #2: *looking out the window and waving at me* “Say, [Manager #1]? Are you SURE you unlocked all the doors today?”

Manager #1: “Sure I did! Why?”

Manager #2: “Because [My Name] is standing right outside this window.”

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Understaffed But Over-Spoken

, | Right | July 3, 2014

(Working late at night the store is understaffed. There is a manager and I running the entire store. We are trying to keep up with drive through demand, but the wait time is slipping from two minutes to about five minutes.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How may I take your order?”

Customer: “I’d like [hamburger meal] and a large drink.”

Me: “Thank you. Please pull up to the second window.”

(The customer waits in line for a few minutes until I can handle the customer before him and prepare his food. He drives up in an expensive sports car.)

Me: “Sorry for the wait, sir. Here is your—”

Customer: “You know I’ve been to your stores all over the country, and yours in the only one that always takes such a d*** long time to get anything done!”

Me: *embarrassed/angry*  “I’m sorry for the long wait, sir, but we are understaffed. There is just the two of us here handling all the orders. But if you are interested in helping get things sped up, we are hiring right now and I can get you an application.”

(The customer made a face, took his food, and sped off.)

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Got To Give Him Credit For Trying, Part 2

| Right | June 22, 2014

(The credit card machines are down at the fast food place I work for. I am taking orders on the headset.)

Me: “Thank you for stopping at [Fast Food]. Our credit card machines are currently down so we are only accepting cash right now.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. I don’t have a credit card. I have a debit card.”

Me: *trying to hold back laughter* “I’m sorry; ma’am, but we can’t accept a debit card either.”


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To Put It Plainly

, | Right | June 19, 2014

(I am ordering a cheeseburger combo meal at a fast food place.)

Cashier: “And what do you want on it?”

Me: “Uh, everything except the tomatoes, onion… Wait, let me rephrase that. Just the cheese and meat.”

Cashier: “So… plain?”

Me: *embarrassed* “Yeah, I guess that would’ve been easier to say!”

(Thanks for putting up with me, fast food worker!)

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