Be Discrete On The Receipt

, | Right | June 25, 2012

(I am ringing up a customer. Note that the receipts automatically print on credit transactions.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “No! How dare you! You better not give me receipt! I will be so pissed!”

Me: “Oh, um, okay then!”

(I finish ringing her up and the receipt prints automatically.)

Customer: “Why did you print that?! I told you I didn’t want it! Do I need to slap you?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. They print automatically when you use a credit card. You don’t have to take it or anything.”

Customer: “I hate you young kids who think you know everything! You print receipts like it’s nothing!”

Me: *not knowing what to say* “Well, have a great evening.”

Customer: “How could I?! You printed the receipt!”

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That Must Be Some Special Sauce

, | Working | June 14, 2012

(I am grabbing a late dinner at a fast food taco restaurant.)

Employee: “Would you like any sauce with your order?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Employee: “Okay, your total comes to [total].”

(I drive up to the window, and hand over my credit card.)

Me: “Could I please get some extra napkins?”

Employee: “Sure, did you want any sauce with that?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Employee: *hands back my card* “Here you go. Did you want any sauce with your tacos?”

Me: “No, that’s okay.”

Employee: *hands me my drink* “Here’s your drink. Oh, did you want any sauce?”

Me: “No.”

Employee: *hands me my food* “Oh, there’s no sauce in the bag. Did you want any?”

Me: “…”

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Thems The Cakes

, | Working | June 12, 2012

(I am ordering fried chicken in the drive thru of a very popular franchise that specializes in fried chicken. I order the 12 piece meal which is $28.99 and comes with three sides and a free cake, and drive up to the window.)

Employee: “Your total $36.xx.”

Me: “Why? The menu says $28.99.”

Employee: “There’s tax on it.”

Me: “The tax is not that much.”

Employee: “The tax is $2.14.”

Me: “Yes, but that doesn’t add up to $36.”

Employee: “Yes it does, ma’am!”

Me: “No, it actually doesn’t.”

Employee: “HOLD ON!”

(A few moments later, the manager comes to the window.)

Manager: “There’s tax, ma’am.”

Me: “I’m aware of that, but the total doesn’t add up.”

Manager: “The tax is $2.14…”

Me: “Right…”

Manager: “And the meal is $28.99…”

Me: “Uh huh…”

Manager: “So your total is $36.xx.”

Me: *waits*

(I notice the light bulb go on in the manager’s face, and he presses some buttons before turning to the employee.)

Manager: *to employee* “You put in the wrong d*** cake!”

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Dingbats In The Drive-Thru

, | Right | June 11, 2012

(I work in the drive-thru area of a well known fast food store. I’m taking an order out to a customer who, instead of parking in the designated bays, has parked in the main car park. The car he is parked next to just happens to be mine.)

Me: “One burger meal?”

(The customer throws open his door with great speed, slamming it into my car and leaving a noticeable dent. In shock, I drop his paper bag.)

Customer: “What on EARTH do you think you’re doing?!”

Me: “You just hit my car!”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t realise it was yours.”

(At this point I’m too shocked to do anything other than stand there and try not to cry.)

Customer: “So, are you going to compensate me?”

Me: “What for?”

Customer: “You just dropped my food on the floor. I demand a full refund and maybe some extras.”

Me: “Sir, you just dented my car with extreme force. I don’t particularly feel inclined to do anything other than replace the meal I dropped, to be completely honest.”

Customer: “That is RIDICULOUS! You owe me £5 for that meal!”

Me: “With all due respect sir, if I may please have your insurance details, we’ll see just how much you owe me!”

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If You Can’t Stand The Heat, Stay Out Of The Microwave

, | Working | June 11, 2012

(I’m at a fast food restaurant having a meal with my family.)

Me: “This chocolate turnover would taste better if it was warm.”

Stepfather: “Ask them to heat it up. The worst they can say is no.”

(I ask the nearest employee if they can heat up the turnover.)

Employee #1: “Sure!”

(As promised, Employee #1 puts the turnover in the microwave. However, he soon returns without the turnover.)

Employee #1: “I…um…your turnover caught on fire.”

Me: “What?”

(Overhearing this, another employee speaks up.)

Employee #2: *to Employee #1* “Did you put it on our wrapping paper?”

Employee #1: “Yes.”

Employee #2: “The wrapping paper with ALUMINUM FOIL on it?”

Employee #1: “Yes…”

(To this day, my family’s new saying is “The worst that can happen is that your turnover will catch on fire!”)

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