In Desperate Need Of A Guide

, | Right | August 6, 2014

(I’m working at a small fast food restaurant where we also have some assorted snacks, magazines, and newspapers. An elderly customer walks in.)

Customer: “Oh, this TV-guide is old!”

Me: “It is? Can I take a look? No, it’s the current one, till the fourth of December.”

Customer: “But it came yesterday!”

Me: “Yes, it did.”

Customer: “I don’t want to pay for the day I missed! Remove that day from the price!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”

Customer: *angrily* “But it’s old! I shouldn’t pay for a day I can’t use!”

Me: “I don’t control what day you buy your TV-guide on…”

(She eventually bought the TV-guide and left in a snit, slamming the door behind her.)

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Children Can Man-age To Listen

, | Right | August 6, 2014

(I’m a female-to-male transgender person who is not on hormones yet; despite this, I don’t have much of a problem with pronoun mistakes. The customer I have is a middle-aged woman and her young son, about six or seven.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How are you today?”

Woman: “I’m good.” *to her son* “Tell the lady what you want!”

Son: “Momma, that’s a man.”

Woman: “Shhh! Don’t say that! You’ll make her feel bad.”

Me: “Actually, he’s right. I am a boy.”

Woman: *ignoring me* “I can see why you’re confused, though.” *to me* “You need to start wearing makeup or something. My son is getting confused!”

Me: “Ma’am, your son is correct.”

Woman: *still ignoring what I’m saying* “And would it kill you to grow your hair out? Everyone’s going to think that you’re a lesbian!”

Me: *getting fed up* “Ma’am. I. Am. A. Man.”

Woman: “Why didn’t you say so?”

Son: “He did. You didn’t listen, mommy.”

Me: “Look, it’s not really a big deal. It happens all the time—”

Woman: “Then grow some facial hair or something! I can’t tell what you are!”

Me: “Um…”

Son: “Mommy, stop being stupid!”

(The son said his order and they checked out. The woman was completely silent after the son’s comment and she booked it out of the store.)

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Some People Are Unable To Change

, | Working | August 4, 2014

(I am going through the drive-thru of a burger place. The total comes to $7.20, I hand the cashier $10.20.)

Cashier: “Here’s your change” *hands me $5 note*

Me: “No, that’s not right” *hands back note* “I gave you $10.20 and the change is $3.”

Cashier: *looking confused at the note* “Um, but you gave me…”

Me: “$10.20, I get $3 change.”

Cashier: *hands me three coins snootily* “There you are, then.”

Me: “You gave me three $2 coins…”

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Your Voice Croaked

, | Working | August 1, 2014

(I began losing my voice during my shift and got sent home early when I started to run a fever. The next day I call out of work, but I have no voice and my work doesn’t have email.)

Manager: “Thank you for calling [Fast Food Place]. How can I help you?”

Me: *tries to speak*

Manager: “…Hello?”

Me: *croaking noises*

Manager: “I’m sorry, I can’t— Wait, [My Name]? Is this you?”

Me: *coughing fit*

Manager: “Press a button if this is [My Name].”

Me: *beeeep*

Manager: “Press two buttons if you can’t come in to work tonight.”

Me: *beeeep beeeep*

Manager: *laughing* “Okay, we’ll figure it out. Feel better.”

(Two days later I’m well enough to go back to work.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name]!

Me: “Hey, boss!”

Manager: “…beep!”

(From then on, whenever someone called out of work, my manager would beep at them before she hung up.)

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Cosplay Makes My Day

, | Friendly | August 1, 2014

(I’m at an anime convention, and go to a fast food place down the road from the hotel. There’s also a big biker’s event nearby, and the building is crowded with rather intimidating men. As I have my cosplay on still, I fear harassment. While waiting for a table, one of the bikers comes up to me.)

Biker: “Hey, I love your outfit. Did you make that yourself?”

Me: “Uh… Yeah… Thanks…”

Biker: “Do you mind if I take a picture?”

Me: “Oh, not at all. Go ahead!”

(He takes a quick picture, then goes back to his table. Later, I ask my waitress for my bill, and she shakes her head.)

Waitress: “Someone else paid for your meal. And he said to give you this.”

(She hands me a note.)

Note: “Thank you for letting me take a picture of your cosplay. My son is home with cancer, and loves [Anime]. I sent him the picture, and he’s smiled for the first time since he got sick. Thank you.”

(I almost started crying. I didn’t see the man after that.)

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