(This occurs in the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Wait, why are your large fries so expensive now?”

Me: “The price went up several weeks ago.”

Customer: “What?! That’s ridiculous! Why did they go up so much?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not sure.”

Customer: *condescendingly* “You don’t KNOW?”

Me: *flatly* “No, I don’t. I just work here.”

Customer: “You— Oh. Huh, yeah, I guess that would be right.”

Me: “Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “No, that’s all.”

Me: “Your total comes to [total]. Please pull around to the first window.”

Manager: *over the headset* “I can’t believe that actually worked.”

Me: *over the headset* “Sometimes honesty is the best policy. Don’t ask me; I just work here!”

(I go into a popular fast food place and order a chicken sandwich…)

Cashier: “Okay, swipe your card when you’re ready.”

Me: “Um, I’m paying with cash?”

(The cashier looks confused for a moment, then says hesitantly:)

Cashier: “Okay! Swipe your cash when you’re ready!”

Me: “…?”

(It’s a slow day at the cash register when an elderly man and his grandson walk up to the counter. The grandfather gives their order but then notices the rainbow bracelet on my wrist as I go to take their payment.)

Grandpa: “Are you gay, son?”

(He points derisively at the bracelet.)

Me: “Yes, I am, but I’m not ashamed and—”

Grandpa: “Good God, they let you people touch food?”

Me: “Sir—”

Grandpa: “Don’t you ‘sir’ me, you f****** [homosexual slur]!”

Me: “That was uncalled for.”

Grandpa: “What’s uncalled for is you trying to turn my grandson gay.”

Me: “I assure you, sir, that’s not—”

Grandpa: “Back in my day we had values. Now there’s a [slur] as our president and [slur]s touching our food. This is why America is going down the s***er, because [slur]s like you think it’s cool to be a f****** [slur].”

Me: *biting my tongue* “Would you like to speak with my manager?”

Grandpa: “Yeah, I would! And I’ll ask him what sort of idiot he is for hiring a [slur] like you”

(My manager is a woman. She comes over.)

Manager: “What’s the problem here?”

Grandpa: “Your employee’s a [slur].”

Manager: *matter-of-factly* “Yes, he is.”

Grandpa: “This is a family restaurant. You can’t have [slur]s working here!”

Manager: “I can, and I do. But you’re right, sir, this is a family restaurant. As a result, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

(Grandpa stands there stunned, and the whole time the poor kid looks like he’s about to cry.)

Manager: “Your grandson is still welcome as he’s not the problem, but you aren’t allowed back in here. Have a good day.”

(Baffled and so angry he couldn’t speak, the grandpa dragged the boy out by his arm.)

(I am running the drive-thru window, taking money and handing out food during a busy lunch hour.)

Me: “Hi, your total is $12.95, please.”

Woman: “Aw, crap. I forgot my wallet at home.”

Me: *to coworker* “Oh, should I void the order, then?”

Woman: *overhears through the open window* “What? I only live a block away? Just give me the food, and I’ll come back and pay.”

Me: “Uh, I don’t think I can do that.”

Coworker: “Yeah, we can’t do that.”

Woman: “Seriously? My kids are hungry. Get your manager.”

(I find the manger and explain the situation.)

Manager: *laughs* “Are you kidding? How do you know she’d come back to pay?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Manager: “Even if she did, we’re counting the money in the registers right now, and we’d come up over ten dollars short.”

Me: *to the woman* “I’m sorry, but I asked my manager, and she said we can’t do that. We’re counting the money in the registers, and not having the money for your order would mess us up.”

Woman: “What? The [Same Restaurant Franchise on the other side of town] always lets me do that!” *thinks for a second, looks at sodas in drink holder on the counter* “Well, can you just give me the drinks?”

Me: “No.”

Woman: “So, I seriously have to drive home, and wait in the drive-thru line again?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but yes.”

(We voided the order, but kept her food warm in the kitchen, and fifteen minutes later, she was back. I took her order again, and also cashed her out at the window. Throughout the entire transaction, she was extremely rude. At the window, she glared at me. When she was cashed out, she demanded extra ketchup, BBQ, and mayo packets, which we are supposed to charge extra for. I was too afraid to ask her to pay, so she ended up with about $1 worth of free sauces.)

(I’m the customer here. I go to the counter and ask:)

Me: “Please may I have [Burger Meal] with a [Soda]?”

(The girl at the counter gets that deer-in-the-headlights look, and then recovers.)

Employee: “’Please may I have’… That’s so NICE. People usually say ‘I WANT.’ How nice!”

(I just thought it was kind of sad that me saying such a little thing like “please” made her day.)