Shouldn’t Spit Out Those Words

, | Bloomington, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(We have posted signs on our doors stating that our lobby would be closing for a manager’s meeting two hours earlier than usual. Three college-age boys come in at about twenty minutes till close, clearly oblivious. My manager is the one to ring up their food, and the following exchange ensues:)

Manager: “All right, and I have to tell you, our lobby will be closing in about twenty minutes for the managers to have a meeting.”

Customer: “Wow! What d***s!”

Manager: “Well, technically I’m a manager, so. . . .”

(The customer immediately goes white, then red.)

Customer: “I am SO sorry!!! …Please don’t spit in my food!”

Manager: “I mean, you can literally watch us make it, so. . .”

Customer: “I’m sorry!”

Fry Your Brains

, | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(It’s a semi-busy night. I and one other manager are up front helping to get orders out when this woman grabs my attention from across the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could you make sure my fries are extra crispy?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

Customer: “Good. Thanks. I can’t have all that extra fat in me.”

Me: *stunned speechless for a few seconds* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “I need them extra well done so there isn’t as much fat on my fries.”

(I blink a few more times before smiling, nodding, and turning around to relay this information to the manager.)

Manager: *in response to the customers request* “Wait, what?”

Me: “You heard me.”

Manager: “Did you explain how deep frying works?”

Me: “You know, it wasn’t worth the argument.”

Really Needs Their Breakfast

| Mesa, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Coworker: “Hello, welcome to [Fast Food Place]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I would like two breakfast burritos.”

Coworker: “Did you want sausage or bacon?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Coworker: “Sausage or bacon?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Coworker: “Did you want your breakfast burritos with bacon or sausage?”

Customer: “Sausage.”

Coworker: “Anything else I can get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Coworker: “Okay and what else can I get for you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Coworker: “Okay… that will be [total] for the breakfast burritos.”

A Sudden Change In Attitude

, | USA | Uncategorized

(I’m taking money in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hello, sir, your total was $10.03.”

Customer: *shoves a stack of bills in my hands* “That’s 11.”

Me: “All right.” *I proceed to count the bills*

Customer: “What are you doing? You don’t need to count them! I told you there were 11, so just type in 11 and give me my change!”

Me: “Sir, I have to check to see how much money you handed me. Even if you tell me I still have to count it.”

Customer: That’s bulls***! How can you be so distrusting? I’m not trying to scam you. If I say I gave you 11, then I gave you 11 dollars! God, you’re so rude. I can’t believe this.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir. Here’s $1.97 for your change.”

Customer: “Wait, what?”

Me: “You gave me 12. Not 11. That’s why I count everyone’s money. More often than not, people give me too much money by accident.”

Customer: “Oh… yeah. Thanks, I guess.”

(That wasn’t the first time I’ve had this conversation, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.)

A Beguiling Bagel

, | Raleigh, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work as a sandwich maker at a fast food bagel shop. We make our sandwiches in front of the customer so they can request changes as we build the sandwich. Our featured breakfast sandwich of the month is the sriracha bagel; it is basically a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel but with peppers and sriracha sauce. It’s a slow day, and a young man approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a sriracha bagel.”

Me: ” All right, what kind of bagel would you like that on? It usually comes on a plain bagel.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. A plain bagel, I guess. Oh, and can I get that with bacon instead of sausage?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(I grab the bagel, slice it open and begin to assemble the sandwich. I go to get the peppers.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what are those?”

Me: “Those are the peppers that go on the sandwich.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like peppers. Can you leave those off?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(I leave the peppers off, and place the bacon, egg, and cheese onto the bagel. I’m about to put the sriracha sauce on the bagel.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what is that?”

Me: “This is the sriracha sauce. It’s what gives the sandwich its name.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like spicy things. Can you leave that off?”

Me: “Okay, sure. So, just to make sure: all you want is a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel?”

Customer: “Yea. Hey, why don’t you guys just have that on your menu?”

(I had to struggle not to say anything as the bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich is the first thing listed under “Breakfast Sandwiches” on the menu. The worst part is when he got to the register he insisted on being charged for the sriracha instead of a bacon egg and cheese, and so he paid about a dollar more for his sandwich.)

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