My husband and I are driving home, and we decide to drive through [Fast Food Chain] for lunch. Important to know is they are selling quesaritos at this time. We have a little trouble ordering, but we attribute that to bad speakers.

When we pull up to the window, it is clear the guy at the window is high. After we finally pay for our food and get the bag, my husband asks me to check we got our food. We are missing a quesadilla.

Husband: “Excuse me.”

Worker: “Yeah, man.”

Husband: “We’re missing a quesadilla.”

Worker: “Oh! I thought you wanted a quesarito.”

Then, he just smiles at us, hanging out the window, completely amused by the mistake. After a minute or so goes by, my husband speaks again.

Husband: “So, can we have our quesadilla?”

Worker: “Oh! Oh, sure. Yeah, man, you can have a quesadilla.”

Then, he just stands there again, looking at us.

Husband: “So, do you want to get it for us, or should we come inside?”

Worker: “Yeah! Yeah, I can get it for you.”

He closes the window and hopefully asks someone else to make the food. He opens the window to give it to us.

Husband: “Do you want us to give you back the quesarito?”

Worker: “I mean, like, why?”

Husband: “Because we’re getting our quesadilla?”

Worker: “Nah, man, you should eat it! It’s good. We’re all good.”

The window closed and we drove off.

An elderly man comes into the drive-thru with a coupon: two combos for $10.99. I punch everything in.

Me: “Your total is $11.54.”

He hands me fifty-five cents. I’m thinking, “Oh, he just handed me the loose change first and is going to hand me a twenty soon or something.”

Nope.

Me: *Politely* “Sir, you still need to pay the $11.”

Well! He isn’t having that!

Customer: *Upset* “But I gave you the coupon! Why should I have to pay?”

Me: *Again, politely* “The coupon is a discount off the full price, and the full price is somewhere closer to $18.”

Customer: *More upset* “But I gave you the coupon!”

Me: *Somehow still politely* “Yes, sir, and thank you, but the coupon is not money and it is not a gift certificate. It’s only good for about $7 off of the total, which is $18. You still have to pay $11.”

This goes on for a few more minutes. Thankfully, I have no other customers.

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager!”

No problem. I called her up from the office, and she tried to explain to him how coupons work before he declared that we were all idiots and he was never coming back here again.

The phone rings at work and I answer it.

Customer: “I want to speak to a manager.”

Me: “I’m a manager. How can I help you?”

Customer: “You’re a manager?”

Me: “I’m the assistant manager. The main manager is in a meeting right now.”

Customer: “Of course, they would be.”

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “When I order no tomatoes on my sandwich, that means I expect to not have tomatoes on my sandwich.”

Me: “I’m sorry that happened, but if you’d like to come up here, we’ll remake it for you.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I had to pick tomatoes off my sandwich and got ketchup on my fingers. Then, when I checked the bag, there were no napkins!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry for—”

Customer: “No, you need to work on your customer service skills and make sure you’re doing your job right. I don’t want apologies; I want you to do your job right and make sure that my order is correct before you give it to me!”

Me: “I’m sorry your order was incorrect. We would gladly remake—”

The customer hung up.

This is why I quit customer service. Some people can never be satisfied; they just want to yell.

An older lady comes in.

Customer: “I want to order to-go, and I want a burger, a soup, and a salad, all for ten bucks.”

Me: *Politely* “There is no way I can do that all for under ten bucks.”

Customer: *Insistent* “Try!”

I have been working here for six years, so I try everything I know how to do and finally figure something out.

Me: “I can just do a plain, straight-forward burger, sub the soup instead of fries, and charge you for a side salad, which brings your grand total to twelve dollars and some change.”

Customer: “No. That’s not good enough. I need the full dinner salad, [one of the bigger burgers], and a bowl of soup.

The salad she wants would be about eight bucks, the burger would be about nine bucks, and the bowl of soup would be another three or four bucks. I explain all these prices to her.

Customer: *Frustrated* “Just get me the big salad and a burger by itself.”

Me: “That’ll be thirteen dollars.”

Customer: “No! That should be under ten!”

Me: *Now annoyed* “Ma’am, there is no way I can do that.”

She angrily hands me the money, and I give her her change. As soon as I start to walk off…

Customer: “Don’t forget my free chips and queso, because they forgot that last time.”

Me: “We charge for that.”

She scoffs and sits down. A couple of minutes later, she comes back up to the counter AGAIN.

Customer: “What’s the number for the [Restaurant Chain] down the street?”

Trying to be nice, I get my phone out, pull up the number, and write it down for her.

Customer: “Call them and place an order for me.”

Me: “I’m not going to call a business down the street when you have a phone and can do it yourself.”

Customer: “You work here, and I am a customer!”

Me: “But I don’t work there, and I am not your personal assistant.”

Customer: “You’re losing me as a customer!” 

Me: “Some customers are worth losing.”

Related:
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 8
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 7
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 6
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 5
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 4

I work at a local tourist spot as a food services supervisor, and we have a few different food outlets in the park. As a supervisor, I’ve had to deal with all kinds of challenging customers, including some that have turned out well (communicating with deaf customers, a Korean group who wanted $200 worth of hamburgers — twice) and not-so-well (a customer who wanted a free bottle of water and screamed at me, an Asian man who accused me of discrimination, a lady who said abusive things because she lost $2 in a vending machine, and all sorts of silly food requests/complaints). Fun times.

One of the dumbest ones I came across, though, was dealt with by a coworker of mine.

Near the very end of the day, a lady came up to our fish and chips window.

Customer: “I want a four-piece chicken strip combo. I want it split four ways for my four children.”

Coworker: “Sure, but since the combo comes with a single small fries, each of those four portions would include just one chicken strip and a few fries.”

He repeats this a couple of times, but she impatiently tells him that’s okay. When she comes to pick up her order:

Customer: *Irate* “What is this?! Each of these portions needs to have at least two strips and a small fries!”

Coworker: “If you’d like eight strips and four small fries, then that will be [higher price].”

Customer: “No! I’m only willing to pay [price of a single combo]! Why are you so incompetent?”

The fish and chips place is in a remote location from the main kitchen, so there is no manager there, and my coworker isn’t about to make her more chicken strips and fries for free, so finally, he tells her:

Coworker: “This outlet is now closed. If you have any more issues, you should take it up with the manager.”

The customer left as he closed the shutter, but then she came around to the side door of the building and screamed at him some more. Even when they closed the door, she waited for them and followed them across the park when they walked back to the main kitchen… where they were able to meet up with the manager and she was asked to leave the park. 

We don’t allow meal-splitting anymore; if customers want something split, we’ll give them plates and knives and they can do their own portions.