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Don’t F*** With The Menu

, | Australia | At The Checkout, Language & Words

(I work on drive-thru. I have a bit of a reputation for acting silly with customers, usually because I work the late-night weekend shifts and therefore talk to a lot of drunk people.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I please take your order?”

Customer: *confused, obviously caught out* “Ah, ah – f***!”

Me: *not missing a beat* “That’ll cost extra, sir.”

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They’re Winging It

, | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hey, how are you doing?”

Customer: “I’m not ready yet!”

(We’re trained to greet the customer, ask for his or her name, then proceed through the order, so I wait for twenty seconds or so.)

Me: “Could I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Don’t rush me!”

(A minute later.)

Customer: “I’d like wings.”

Me: “All right, could I have your name for the order, please?”

Customer: “I’m not done yet!”

Me: “We ask for the name at the beginning of the order.”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “All right, [Name], do you want a combo or just the wings?”

Customer: “Just wings.”

Me: “Okay, how many would you like?”

Customer: “Ten.”

Me: “All right, [Name], and will those be boneless or regular wings?”

Customer: “I want the wings.”

Me: “Yes, boneless or regular?”

Customer: “Yeah, hot.”

Me: *louder* “Boneless or regular?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Regular wings are the… regular… wings, like drumsticks and flats. Boneless wings are… without bone.”

Customer: “Yeah, the regular wings. That’s what I said!”

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Some Passive Aggressiveness Is On The Menu

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am a kitchen manager for a popular donut chain and often work the drive-thru window taking orders. It seems people don’t know that prices were on the menu board.)

Me: “America runs on [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “How much is [food item]?”

Me: “Just a second; let me check.”

(I walk out the back door and stand between the customer in her car and the menu board and look at the price. While still standing there I push the button on my headset and say:)

Me: “It’s [price]. Would you like a coffee with that?”

(When I got back inside, the store manager, who also had a headset on, was dying laughing. When the lady got to the window she never said a word.)