When You Wish You Could Play The Conversation Back To Them

| Peterborough, ON, Canada | Food & Drink

(We only carry one size and flavour of milkshakes.)

Customer: “Can I have a large vanilla shake and two small strawberry shakes?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we only carry chocolate, and it’s just one size.”

Customer: “Fine, one large and two small chocolate shakes.”

Me: “The shakes are only one size. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, okay, whatever.”

(I prepare the shakes and hand them to the customer.)

Customer: “I asked for a vanilla and two strawberry, and the vanilla was supposed to be large! These are all small and all chocolate!”


Repeatedly Trying To Top It

| Peterborough, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I’m taking a drive-thru order.)

Customer: “Can I have a [burger combo]?”

Me: “Absolutely. What toppings would you like?”

Customer: *lists toppings*

Me: “Okay, and what side and drink with that?”

Customer: *repeats toppings*

Me: “Yes, I have that here already. What would you like for your side and drink?”

Customer: *repeats toppings again*

Me: *trying a different approach* “No problem, is your combo going to be with fries and [drink]?”

Customer: “No, it’s with—” *repeats toppings yet again*

(Eventually I just rang in fries and a random fountain drink. They didn’t complain.)


Will Need A Large Drink After This

| Peterborough, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(A customer places an order in drive-thru. I give them their total and greet them at the window.)

Me: “Hi, your total is [total].”

Customer: “Sorry, can we add a large drink to that?”

(I ring it in and give them their new total.)

Me: “Okay, with the drink your new total is [$3.00 more].”

(She hands me enough money for the original total.)

Me: *counting the money* “Sorry, I just need another $3.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(She doesn’t move, just smiles at me.)

Me: “Sorry, you were $3 short. Your total was [total] and you only gave me [amount].”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…I need another $3.”

Customer: “I’m just trying to figure out why it costs more now.”


There Is No Sub-stitute

| ME, USA | Bizarre

(I work in a popular make-your-own-sandwich shop, with lots of combinations, so it’s easy to understand why people would need a bit of extra time.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]! What can I get you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want to try one of those pizza things.”

Me: “Sure! What kind?”

Customer: “Pepperoni.”

(I start making the pizza — they’re always made to order, as they take only 90 seconds. I had put only the sauce on, no toppings or cheese or anything, when…)

Customer: “That looks gross. I don’t want that any more.”

Me: “Okay, then.” *I put it off to the side* “Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “Yeah, one of the foot-long Philly cheesesteaks.”

Me: “Okay, on Italian bread?”

Customer: “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

(The customer then proceeds to turn around, walk out of the store, and drive away. I’m standing there holding the steak, just watching and trying to figure out what just happened. I decide to move on, as it is lunch time and we have a line.)

Next Customer: “My turn?”

Me: “Apparently so!”

(The customer never came back.)


Got A Chocolate Chip On Their Shoulder

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Can I get you anything else today?”

Customer: “I’d like this with a meal, but with cookies instead of chips.”

Me: “All right. What kind of cookies?”

Customer: “Chocolate chip.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; someone just bought the last ones. We have chocolate chip with M&M cookies instead if that’s all right.”

Customer: “Just chocolate chip.”

Me: “We’re out of those at the moment, like I just said, but we have all the other kinds of cookies available right now.”

Customer: “But I got chocolate chip yesterday.”

Me: “Well, we don’t have any right now.”

Customer: “But there were some yesterday. That’s what I got yesterday. Chocolate chip.”

Me: “Well, that was yesterday. TODAY we are out. We have all the other kinds, though.”

Customer: “…But yesterday I got chocolate chip.”

Me: “That’s not what you’re getting today. Not here, anyway.”

(The customer got M&M cookies instead and left looking supremely confused and angry with me for not giving him the chocolate chip cookies we didn’t have.)

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