Your Order Is Toast

, | MD, USA | Working | February 13, 2017

(I am ordering a sandwich for lunch at a popular sandwich chain where you watch the employees make the sandwich as you order.)

Me: “I’d like a six-inch, sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub, on whole wheat bread, please.”

Employee: “Toasted?”

Me: “No, but can you heat the chicken, please?”

Employee: “Toasted?”

Me: “Just heat the meat, please.”

Employee: “The bread?”

Me: *getting frustrated* “No, just heat the chicken.”

Employee: “The meat?”

Me: “Yes!”

(She proceeds to place the chicken in the microwave for at least two minutes. The chicken is still in the microwave when I get to the next employee, who isn’t any better…)

Employee #2: “What is this?”

Me: “A sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub.”

Employee #2: “Toasted?”

Me: “No, the meat is in the microwave.”

Employee #2: “You want the bread toasted?”

Me: “No, the chicken is being heated now.”

Employee #2: “Oh!”

(She gets the chicken from the microwave.)

Me: “I’d like lettuce and cucumber please.”

Employee #2: *puts lettuce and tomato on the sandwich* “Lettuce and tomato okay?”

Me: *pointing at cucumber which is away from the tomato* “No tomato, cucumber.”

Employee #2: *picking off lettuce* “Tomato?”

Me: “Lettuce. Cucumber.”

Employee #2: *leaves tomato on, adds lettuce and cucumber* “What’s next?”

Me: “Take off the tomato, please.”

(Eventually she got the sandwich right. I’m not usually picky about what goes on my sandwich but I was ordering for someone else. The people behind and in front of me were having similar communication issues, so it wasn’t just me!)

Raw Stupidity

| NY, USA | Right | February 12, 2017

(I work as a janitor in a fast food restaurant.)

Customer: “My burger is raw; take it back.”

Me: *cleaning up a spill* “One second, I’ll go get the manager.”

Customer: “No, You take it!”

Me: “Um… okay.”

(I look at the burger.)

Me: “This isn’t even raw.”

Customer: “The lettuce is!”

Ehrrenge Is The New Orange

, | FL, USA | Right | February 11, 2017

(I am taking orders over the drive-thru speaker.)

Me: “What would you like to drink with that?”

Customer: “Ehrrenge soda.”

Me: *figuring he meant orange soda* “Sir, we don’t have orange soda.”

Customer: “Ehrrenge soda!” *really emphasizing the ‘errrrr’ sounds and making it sound like only one syllable*

Me: “We don’t have orange; can I get you something else?”

Customer: *loudly* “I want errrnge soda!”

Me: *in the same loud volume* “Sir, we ain’t got no errrnge soda!”

Customer: *in completely normal voice* “Oh, okay. I’ll have Coke.”

(He pulls around and my coworkers are laughing hysterically. I guess I just had to say it in a way he would understand. To this day we call orange “errnnnge”.)

A Faulty Sandwich

, | FL, USA | Right | February 8, 2017

Customer: “This sandwich is supposed to be no tomatoes and it’s supposed to have cheese on it.”

Me: “Sorry about that. I’ll remake it for you”

(I turn to get a new sandwich. I come back and the customer’s husband is standing next to her.)

Husband: “I asked for no cheese. This has cheese on it. And where’s my tomato?

Me: “Um, it looks like you guys were eating each other’s sandwiches”

Customer: “Well, who’s fault is that?”

Me: *to husband* “I’m not going to answer that one, but I’ll make you a new sandwich since your correct sandwich has already been thrown away.”

(Two perfectly good sandwiches in the trash and two replacements later, I wish I could say this was uncommon.)

Deceitful Drinking

, | MI, USA | Right | January 30, 2017

(I work at a fast food restaurant drive-thru and am taking a customer’s order.)

Customer: “I would like a number three with a [Soda #1] to drink.”

Me: “A number three with a [Soda #1]. Can I get you anything else, sir?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: “Okay, your total will be $7 at the next drive-thru window. Thank you!”

(The customer pulls up to the window and pays for his order. I hand him his drink.)

Customer: “I wanted a [Soda #2], not a [Soda #1].”

Me: *confused* “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I’ll remake that for you, sir.”

(I go to remake the drink and notice the customer hasn’t given the Soda #1 back to me.)

Me: “I need the [Soda #1] back, sir.”

Customer: “Huh? What [Soda #1]?”

Me: *annoyed* “The [Soda #1] I just gave to you a few seconds ago.”

(The customer reluctantly hands the Soda #1 back to me.)

Customer: “Are you going to throw that out?”

Me: “Yes, it’s our standard policy.”

Customer: “Well, you should just let me have it if you’re going to throw it out. That’s just wasteful.”

Me: “Sir, if this was an honest mistake, I would let you keep the drink free of charge, but you intentionally tried to deceive me to get a free drink. I’m afraid you won’t be getting a free drink today, sir.”

(The customer was silent for the rest of the transaction. Unsurprisingly, I never saw him again.)

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