Nut A Good Idea

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m working the register at a sandwich shop.)

Customer: *completely earnest* “I have a question about your cookies. I see here there are some labeled “White Chip Macadamia Nut.” Does that mean there are white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts?”

Me: “I… uh… yes.”

Customer: “So then I can’t give them to my son with a nut allergy, right?”

Me: “That would be a bad idea, yes.”

Customer: “All right, let me have one of those for me and one chocolate chip for my son.”

Me: “I don’t think that would be a good idea, ma’am.”

Customer: *getting irritated* “Well, why not? Do the chocolate chip cookies have nuts in them?”

Me: “Well, no, but they do come into contact with nuts in several places. Like when we’re baking them, or when we use the same tongs to grab them. Or the display case in front of you where the chocolate chip cookies are touching the macadamia nut cookies…”

Customer: “Fine, then, I won’t get him any cookies. Just give me my sandwiches and two small drinks.”

Me: “Uh… I’m afraid I can’t do that either.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not? I paid you didn’t I?!”

Me: “Um… you haven’t ordered a sandwich yet.”

(Luckily my manager came back from break and we were able to sort everything out before it escalated.)

Shouldn’t Spit Out Those Words

, | Bloomington, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(We have posted signs on our doors stating that our lobby would be closing for a manager’s meeting two hours earlier than usual. Three college-age boys come in at about twenty minutes till close, clearly oblivious. My manager is the one to ring up their food, and the following exchange ensues:)

Manager: “All right, and I have to tell you, our lobby will be closing in about twenty minutes for the managers to have a meeting.”

Customer: “Wow! What d***s!”

Manager: “Well, technically I’m a manager, so. . . .”

(The customer immediately goes white, then red.)

Customer: “I am SO sorry!!! …Please don’t spit in my food!”

Manager: “I mean, you can literally watch us make it, so. . .”

Customer: “I’m sorry!”

Fry Your Brains

, | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(It’s a semi-busy night. I and one other manager are up front helping to get orders out when this woman grabs my attention from across the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could you make sure my fries are extra crispy?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

Customer: “Good. Thanks. I can’t have all that extra fat in me.”

Me: *stunned speechless for a few seconds* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “I need them extra well done so there isn’t as much fat on my fries.”

(I blink a few more times before smiling, nodding, and turning around to relay this information to the manager.)

Manager: *in response to the customers request* “Wait, what?”

Me: “You heard me.”

Manager: “Did you explain how deep frying works?”

Me: “You know, it wasn’t worth the argument.”