Don’t Double Your In-Tray

| TX, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(It is near closing time. There are only two customers in the store and both came in at the same time and are waiting on orders. Their food comes up at the same time so I put it on separate trays and take it out. Customer #2 is in the restroom but Customer #1 comes to retrieve food and asks for sauce, requiring me to put down the other tray. When I turn back around Customer #1 has begun to move all of the food onto one tray.)

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not your order. Only the food on the tray I handed you was with your order.”

(Customer #1 ignores me. By this point Customer #2 has come out of the restroom and sat down at a table close to the counter.)

Me: “Are you and the other customer eating together?”

(Customer #1 barely nods and takes food to the farthest table in the restaurant. When Customer #1 sits down Customer #2 comes up to the counter.)

Customer #2: “How much longer till my food is ready?”

Me: “Are you not with her?” *pointing to Customer #1*

Customer #2: “Um… no.”

Me: “One second.”

(I told my team leader what had happened and the food was remade. Customer #2 took his food back to the table he was sitting at and the two customers never interacted. From that point on, everyone on the night shift was very careful to only take out one order at a time.)

Ignore The Code Of Practice

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(At this restaurant, there are certain situations where a manager must use a code to authorize a purchase. A customer walks up to my till, places a large order, and pays with a $50 bill.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager], can I get a code?”

Customer: “A code?”

Me: “Yeah, sometimes I need a manager code to process a transaction.”

Customer: *suddenly starts yelling* “Did I SAY I wanted a manager, you little s***?! Just give me my d*** food!”

Me: “Miss, I can’t do that without a manager. If you pay an amount over $50, then—”

Customer: “I. DON’T. WANT. A F***ING. MANAGER!”

Me: “Do you have a credit card, miss?”

Customer: “NO! Why the f*** would I have my credit card? I’m paying cash!”

Me: “If you don’t have a credit card, I need a manager.”

Manager: “[My Name], what’s going on here?”

Me: “Well, this—”

Customer: “Are you a manager? Get the f*** out of here! I don’t want a f***ing manager! I just want my f***ing food!”

Me: “Miss, I’ve tried to—”

Manager: “[My Name], what have I been telling you? The customer is always right, remember?”

Me: “But—”

Manager: “Now, this lady says she doesn’t want a manager. Okay? If she doesn’t want a manager, she’s not getting one.”

Me: “[Manager], she needs a—”

Manager: *winks* “What did I just tell you, [My Name]? She. Doesn’t. Need. A. Manager.”

Me: *catching on* “Sorry. I forgot. You should probably get back to what you were doing, then.”

Manager: *leaves*

Me: “Sorry about that, miss.”

Customer: *scoffs* “It’s about d*** time. Now give me my food.”

Me: “Do you happen to have any other cash on you?”

Customer: “What? No. Why the f*** would I have any more cash? All I need is the f***ing fifty.”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, since you’re paying $50, I need a manager code to authorize this. And since you don’t want a manager, I’m afraid I can’t sell you anything. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Customer: “I’LL BURN THIS F***ING PLACE TO THE GROUND!” *storms out*

Wants a D’oh!-Nut

| Australia | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

Customer: “What’s that doughnut?”

Me: “It’s a traditional cinnamon doughnut.”

Customer: “Is that the kind Homer Simpson likes? I want a Homer Simpson doughnut.”

Me: “I think he likes all types of doughnuts.”

Customer: *points to another doughnut* “What about that one? Does Homer Simpson like that kind?”

Me: “I guess so?”

Customer: *spying the strawberry iced doughnut* “That one! That’s the kind Homer Simpson likes! I want that one!”

Time To Call It A Night…

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Time

(We are a 24-hour fast-food place and have a special menu from midnight to four am that is displayed both inside and beside the speaker box outside.)

Customer: “What time does your midnight to four am menu start?”

Me: “It starts at midnight and ends at four am.”

Customer: “Can I get [food item not on menu]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re currently not selling that item. We’re on the midnight to four am menu.”

Customer: “What?! When did that start?!”

Me: “The MIDNIGHT to FOUR AM menu starts at MIDNIGHT and lasts until FOUR AM.”

Customer: “So I can’t get [food item]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no. We only sell the items on the midnight to four am menu.”

Customer: “When does the midnight menu stop? I want [food item]!”

Me: *bangs head on cash register*

(Unfortunately, I have this conversation at LEAST three times a night.)

How Do You Like Dem Cherry Pies?

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(It’s midnight at the 24-hour-fast food place. A woman and her husband order via the drive thru, apparently unaware I can hear everything they say. I’ve also just cut more than eight inches off my hair, streaked my hair blue, and begun wearing contacts two days prior and not even my coworkers recognized me when I clocked in.)

Customer: “There’s no one here! We should come this late more often!”

Man: “I want cherry pies and last time the dumb b**** at the counter told me they were discontinued.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll just ask for some, then.” *into the speaker* “We want two cherry pies with the order.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the cherry pies have been discontinued.”

Man: “GOD-D*** IT!”

(They pull around to my window to pay. The woman just grins at me.)

Customer: “Well, you know what they say about husbands! I can’t believe how empty it is right now. I’ve never been here past six or so before.”

Me: “Ha, yeah, it’s pretty dead around this time. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Honestly, I don’t understand why you got rid of those pies. They were the best thing here.”

Me: *cheerfully* “They actually didn’t sell very well. We were throwing away more than we were selling, so corporate pulled them. Would you like to try our new strawberry pie? It’s pretty good.”

(Immediately, the woman stops smiling and scowls at me.)

Customer: “That attitude is exactly why I hate coming here. You know, I remember you from last time I was here and you had a nasty attitude then, too. This is why teenagers should learn some respect for their elders! Now give me my change. I want to recount it and make sure you didn’t pocket any of it.”

Me: “Well, first off, you can’t have remembered me since you said twice that it’s your first time here past dinner time and I only work third shift. Meaning I don’t come in until ten pm.”

Customer: “Well—”

Me: “Second: I’m twenty-two and have been nothing but polite to you this entire time even after I heard your husband call one of my coworkers a dumb b**** for no reason.”

Customer: “I—”

Me: “And finally, your total was [total], meaning your change is $2.37. One dollar, two dollars, twenty five, thirty five, six, and seven. Here you go, have a nice night, and try to remember to respect the people who handle your food.” *slams window shut*

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