Any Given Sundae

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m working drive-thru at a well known fast food place.)

Customer: “I’d like one large chocolate sundae, and one large sundae with chocolate or caramel on the bottom and chocolate or caramel on the top with extra chocolate or caramel. It doesn’t matter which one.”

Me: “So two large sundaes wi—”

Customer: “No, you’re not listening to me. One large chocolate sundae. One large sundae with chocolate or caramel on the bottom and chocolate or caramel on the top with extra chocolate or caramel. Either one.”

Me: “Okay. So in total you have tw—”

Customer: “NO, YOU AREN’T LISTENING. ONE LARGE CHOC—”

Manager: *signalling to me that the customer wants just one*

Me: “So you want one large sundae with chocolate on the bottom and caramel on the top with extra sauce?”

Customer: “YES. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Gonna Party Like Its 1595

| Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre

Me: “Okay, that’s $15.95.”

Customer: “I remember 1595. ‘Twas a good year; Hastings was a changed place, that’s for sure.”

Me: “And the maidens were young and fair?”

Customer: “Yep. The biggest news story was these two young people who got married but succumbed to a tragic murder-suicide. And some young ‘un going by the name Shakespeare was top of the charts. Yep, an interesting year for sure!” *wanders off with his purchase*

She Really Needed That Coffee

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(As I’m working the till, an old man walks up to me. It takes a few minutes to fill out his order, because he can barely speak, and his finger shakes when he tries to tell me what he wants. He is extremely polite, and orders two coffees. After he leaves to get coffee stirrers, a young woman comes to my till.)

Customer: “Oh, my God, what a drag, huh? That guy was such a dumba**. He should just die and move over for the best generation. Am I right?”

Me: “…Why don’t I just take your order.”

(As she ordered, the old man, who heard what she said, walked up behind her quietly, popped the lid off of one of his coffees, and poured it all over the woman. She screamed, and ran away yelling about her clothes, while the old man ordered another coffee.)