(I pull into the drive-thru at a nationwide fast food joint, one that I’ve been going to for eons.)

Worker: “Hi. Can I take your order?”

Me: “Sure. I’ll have a #6, but without mustard, large size. with a [Soda].”

Worker: “No problem.”

(I watch her punch it into the computer as it shows up on my screen and notice that she does not put “no mustard” in there. So, I drive up to her window.)

Worker: “Okay, that will be [total].”

Me: *hands her my card* “Here you go. Oh, and please make sure that my hamburger doesn’t have mustard on it.”

Worker: “Oh, that hamburger doesn’t come with mustard. That’s why I didn’t put it in.”

Me: “I’ve been ordering the same thing for years, and it’s always had mustard on it; when did it change?”

Worker: “Oh, you must be wrong; it’s never had mustard.”

Me: “It always has, for the many years I have been ordering it. Can you please make sure they don’t put mustard on it?”

Worker: “It doesn’t come with mustard, sir. I don’t need to tell them.”

Me: “Please go tell them, anyway, or give me my card back and I’ll go someplace else.”

Worker: “I already charged your card, but here.”

(She hands me my card back, and I’m about to ask for a manager, when a manager happens to come by the window.)

Manager: *to worker* “Is there a problem?”

Worker: “He ordered a #6 and says he doesn’t want mustard on it, but I’ve told him it doesn’t come with mustard.”

Manager: *to worker* “A #6 does come with mustard! Ugh, now I have to have them remake it. Next time just punch it into the computer.”

Manager: *to me* “Sorry about this.”

(A few minutes later:)

Manager: *to me* “Here you go. I threw in a chocolate cake for you. I’m sorry about her; she’s new, but she thinks she knows everything already.” *sighs*

(I visited that place many times after that and never saw her working there again.)

(I work at fast food restaurant which is known to not only make food only when you order it, but also has tacos that people absolutely love, served among the burgers and other items. It’s Black Friday, and the location I’m at is directly across from a popular national box store, so we’ve been pretty swamped. To make matters worse, we’ve run out of those precious tacos until our delivery arrives. People have not been kind about the lack of tacos, at all. We have a monster-sized taco, about the size of two and a quarter or so of the regular tacos, but it is more expensive. The lunch rush has just started to die down when a couple comes in and makes their order. Of course the husband wants tacos, and I’m dreading telling him.)

Me: “I’m sorry to let you know… we’re out of the tacos until the truck arrives in about two hours. We don’t have any until then.”

(I’m bracing for the tirade I’ve heard for the previous two hours straight.)

Customer: “Oh, well… D***. Do, uh… do you happen to have those big tacos?”

Me: “Uh… ye… yeah! We still have those!”

Customer: “OKAY! I’ll do one of those.” *turns to his wife* “Cutie, serious, they’re like… this big. The size of your freaking face. They’re pretty much two tacos in one freaking taco!”

(His wife chuckles and rolls her eyes.)

Customer: “What can you do? It’s Black Friday and those tacos are disgustingly addictive. At least you have the big ones.”

(This has actually put me in a much better mood, so I stutter a thank-you and adjust the price down to what two tacos would normally be.)

Customer’s Wife: “Oh, you didn’t need to do that. It’s fine if it’s a bit more.”

Me: “No, it’s okay. Like he said, it’s basically two tacos in one, anyway. You have a great day!”

Both: “Thank you so much; Merry Christmas!”

Customer: “…even though it’s still a bit early to say it!”

(Thank you. Both of you. Thank you for being understanding and giving me a boost when I needed it the most! The truck even arrived a little early, and I suggested the big tacos to everyone right away when people asked for the two regular tacos… and they were all very understanding, too. Thank you for giving me that idea through your act of understanding, as well.)

(I work as a manager at a local branch of a common fast food restaurant. All locations in the US have the same items, prepared the same way. We have never accepted and are not equipped for delivery or over-the-phone orders. I’m in the office, counting down a register, when the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: *with a noticeable Indian accent* “Hello. I’d like to place an order for pickup.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t accept orders for pickup. You have to be in our store to order.”

Caller: “Oh, then, can I ask questions about your food?”

Me: “Of course. Go right ahead.”

Caller: “Do you sell burgers?”

(I am silent for a second, as our restaurant has the word “burger” in the name.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we do.”

Caller: “How big are your burgers?”

(This is a fairly common question, but since most customers are in the store when they ask, I usually give them an estimate with my hands.)

Me: “I don’t know the dimensions off the top of my head, but I can look them up for you.”

Caller: “Are they as big as the ones in India?”

Me: “I’ve never been to India, ma’am. I don’t know. If you give me a second, I can look it up for you.”

Caller: “Are your burgers made from cow?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Most of them.”

Caller: “That’s horrible! How dare you use cow in your burgers?! Those poor cows! In India all our burgers are made with vegetables!”

Me: *taken aback* “We do have a veggie burger, ma’am. And a chicken burger.”

Caller: “You have a veggie burger and a chicken burger? What about goat?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Caller: “Do you have a goat burger?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We don’t have a goat burger.”

Caller: “You don’t have a goat burger?! How could you not have a goat burger?! I’m going to take my business somewhere else!” *hangs up*

(I work at a fast food restaurant. We sell frozen drinks for $1. Unfortunately, today all the frozen drinks machines are broken, as are all of the soft drink machines. We have signs plastered in the drive-thru informing customers, and we greet every customer by telling them this. Almost every single order goes along these lines.)

Me: *greeting* “Unfortunately, we are unable to sell and frozen drinks or soft drinks right now.”

Customer: “Okay, can I get a cheeseburger meal with a [frozen drink]?”

Me: “We can’t do any frozen drinks or soft drinks at the moments, I’m sorry.”

(I tell customer what drinks they CAN get.)

Customer: “Oh, I’ll just get a lemonade with the meal, then.”

Me: *eye twitching* “We can’t sell any lemonade, or any other soft drink, or frozen drink. I can only give you…” *repeats other options*

Customer: “Can I have a [different frozen drink], then?”

Me: *slowing bashing my head on the wall* “We can’t do any soft drinks or frozens at the moment.”

Customer: *pause* “I’ll just get a Coke.”

Me: “…” *turns microphone off, starts screaming in frustration*

(The customer in front of me is arguing with staff.)

Customer: “Look. A sandwich is $5.50. Fries are $2. A drink is $1. But a combo of all three is $7.59. So why not give me a sandwich, fries, and a dollar bill? Answer me that?”

Employee: “Sir, we can’t give you money. The drink comes with the combo and…”

Customer: “Just open up the register and give me a dollar.”

Employee: “Sir, we have been through this before. Corporate has written to you. We aren’t allowed to just give you money.”

Customer: “It’s your setup! I should walk out of here with a dollar bill every day!”

(This continued for some time before I finally just handed the guy a dollar so I could order lunch!)