Don’t Drink And Drive-Thru

| Cushing, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am manning the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Do you have anything like the [chicken strip-combo] but without the drink?”

Me: “Yes, we do! We have a chicken strip dinner; it comes with the chicken and gravy, fries, roll, and no drink.”

Customer: “Oh, good! I’ll have that.”

Me: “All right, is there anything else I can get for you today?”

Customer: “A large cherry limeade.”

Me: “…”

A Spoonful Of Onions Helps The Customer Line Go Down

| Canada | Food & Drink

(Our store mainly sells made-to-order smoothies, but we do have a small selection of pre-made sandwiches and wraps available, too. Due to the amount of time it takes to prepare the sandwiches and wraps, we only make them at the beginning of the day, unless a customer wants something custom made.)

Customer: “What ingredients are on your chicken wrap?”

Me: “There’s chicken, salsa, onions, and cheese.”

Customer: “Could I get a wrap with not too many onions on it?”

Me: “Well, all of our wraps have only a teaspoon of minced onions, so there’s not very much on them to begin with.”

Customer: “Oh, my! That’s far too much!”

Me: “Well, we could make you a wrap with no onions on it, if you’d prefer.”

Customer: “No, no. I want one with LESS onions. Could you maybe put half the amount on?”

Me: “You’d like a wrap with… half a teaspoon of onions? Instead of a full teaspoon? It will take an extra 10 minutes to make. Are you sure?”

Customer: “Yes! That would be great, thanks!”

(So, despite the line-up of customers out the door, we set one employee to the task of making one wrap with HALF a teaspoon of onions on it.)

| Ontario, Canada | Unfiltered

*This occurs when I’m in drive thru taking orders”

Customer: Can I get a peppermint mocha and a large vanilla milkshake?

Me: I’m sorry, our ice cream machine is down at the moment, would you like two peppermint mochas?

Customer: *talks to passenger* So, your mocha machine is down?

Me: No, our ice cream machine is down, but our espresso machine is working.

Customer: So we can’t get a mocha?

Me: No, you can. But I can’t make the milkshake because our machine is down.

Customer: *talks to passenger again* So, you can make a peppermint mocha milkshake?

Me: Um, no. We are unable to make milkshakes right now.

Customer: You have a peppermint mocha milkshake?

Me: ….

Customer: Wait, so what are you telling me? Can we have a peppermint mocha?

Me: Yes! You can have a mocha but not a milkshake because our ice cream machine is down.

Customer: Oh! Okay then. We’ll have two peppermint mochas.

Me: Okay, your total is [total], first set of windows please.

My Milkshake Brings All The Crazies To The Yard

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(Our restaurant sells milkshakes in four regular flavors and varies an extra one depending on the time of year; peppermint in winter, peach in summer, etc.)

Customer: “And I’d like an eggnog milkshake too.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t carry eggnog milkshakes. We do have our peppermint chocolate chip milkshake, though, as well as chocolate, strawberry, cookies and creme, or vanilla.”

Customer: “No, no, I got an eggnog one here last time. I want it again.”

Me: “I do apologize, but we don’t have that flavor.”

Customer: *not mad, simply very confused* “So… you can’t make me an eggnog milkshake?”

Me: “No, I don’t have the right ingredients to do that.”

Customer: “But I got one last time.”

(I suddenly remember seeing an ad for another restaurant down the road that has eggnog milkshakes. We don’t like to send customers to other shops if we can help it, but I feel bad for her, so I smile and tell her where she can get an eggnog milkshake. She lights up.)

Customer: “Thank you so much! Please forgive an old lady for being forgetful. I’m going to take my food to go then so I can get a milkshake to go with it.”

(After she leaves, the customer behind her comes up to order:)

Next Customer: “Well, that sounded completely gross. I’ll take a peppermint milkshake any day!”

This Job Blows

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I’m working on the drive-thru window at a fast food restaurant and I’ve just finished taking the order for a car in the queue.)

Me: “Would you like anything else with that?”

Customer: “Yeah, a blow-j*b.”

Me: “Well, mate, if you can get it up to the window…”

(He drove straight through without his order.)

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