Giving Them The Milk-Shakedown

, | Warwick, RI, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’m taking late night orders at the drive-thru. Two very heavily intoxicated women come through.)

Customer: “We’d like two milkshakes.”

Me: “Apologies. As it is a half hour before we close, our ice cream and shake machine has been shut down and disassembled for the night

Customer: “But we just came from the bar! You can’t do this to us! We need our shakes!”

(After trying to reason with them, my very sarcastic manager takes over.)

Manager: “Well, I suppose we could reassemble the machine, fill it up, wait minutes for the mix to freeze up to make your shakes, and then we can just break it all down again after.”

(Most people would see this as pure sarcasm, but it would seem the women are too far gone to get it.)

Customer: “Thank you! We’ll wait while you do that.”

(My manager gave up, told them to have a great night and took off his headset. They sat there for a few minutes before driving off. Some people don’t take a hint.)

What A Sweet Old Bag

, | UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(During the night shift at the restaurant I work at, a customer pulls up.)

Customer: “I’ll get a cheeseburger, a small [Soda], and some chips, please.”

Me: “Okay, will that be all for today?”

Customer: *deadpan* “Well, could you dip the bag in chocolate? Can you do that?”

(I laugh, because the customer made a direct quote from comedian Tim Hawkins who has a joke about how people never eat healthily at fast food places.)

Me: “I see that you watch Tim Hawkins!”

(There is an awkward silence on the other end of the phone.)

Customer: “Uh… who’s Tim Hawkins?”

Me: “Never mind.”

Customer: “But can you dip the bag in chocolate?”

Me: “No, sir, we can’t.”

(To this day I have no idea whether it was an actual, insane request, or if somebody with a sense of humor decided to mess with my mind.)

Always Fresh Things To Complain About

| Independence, MO, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m working register at night when a woman who appears to be in her early thirties comes in and orders a meal with fries and chicken nuggets. There are already fries made but we are waiting on the nuggets to finish cooking.)

Customer: “Can I get older fries and nuggets? I don’t want my daughter to burn her mouth.”

Me: “Well we can get you older fries but we have to wait on chicken nuggets to finish cooking.”

Customer: “But my daughter could burn her mouth if it’s fresh.”

Me: “You could wait a bit before giving it to her.”

(She continued to be mad about getting fresh chicken nuggets until she left. The first and only time I’ve seen someone complain about getting fresh food.)

That Will Not Be All

| Norman, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I am working drive-thru one night when we serve partial breakfast and lunch. Customer shows up in my camera and my sensor.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

(Customer ignores me but I’m used to this by now.)

Customer: “Hello?!”

Me: “Hello! Can I help you?”

Customer: “I want a biscuit and a hash brown.”

Me: “Is that gonna be all for you today?”

Customer: “Actually make it two biscuits.”

Me: “All right, will that be all?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

(She pulls around after I tell her the total and hands me her card. I swipe it and it runs through just fine.)

Customer: “Hey, don’t you have a special going on for a biscuit and a hash brown?

Me: *handing back her card and receipt* “Yes, ma’am, we are. I took the liberty of giving you that special, along with the second biscuit you wanted.”

Customer: “Can you add a second hash brown and get me the food for cheaper?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re order has already been paid for. If you want the second hash brown, it’d have to be at full price as I’d have to make a whole new order.”

(Her boyfriend in the car gets my attention, trying to speak over her.)

Customer #2: “Why don’t you give us a refund in the biscuit, and then ring up the special that way?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I’m not supposed to give out refunds.”

Customer #1: “Well, why didn’t you tell me at the speaker that if I got a second hash brown, I’d be getting it cheaper?!”

Me: “That’s not what you told me you wanted…”

Didn’t Study The Deal Hard Enough

| Newcastle, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money, School

(I work in a popular fast food restaurant in the city centre. I am working a morning shift and a customer comes up to my till just after nine am and orders two breakfast meals. I ask her how she would like to pay and she informs me she will be paying by card.)

Me: “Not a problem. Please just insert your card into that machine there.”

(I indicate the correct machine and turn around to begin assembling the order, but am distracted by her shout.)

Customer: “Excuse me! This machine isn’t working!”

Me: “I’m ever so sorry. Please just try again. Sometimes our system is a little temperamental. It should work this time.”

(After several more attempts the card has not worked and the food is ready so I ask to see the card; although she is speaking with a local accent some foreign cards don’t work with our system and I think it best to check. On observing, I see that she has been trying to use a student ID card.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me, but you’ve been trying to use a student card. You need to use a debit or credit card, or pay by cash if you’d prefer.”

Customer: “But you can use these!”

Me: “I’m afraid you can’t, madam; there is no way of paying with a student card.”

Customer: “But I want my meal for free!”

(My company runs a promotion where if you buy a meal and present student ID you are entitled to a free cheeseburger or ice cream, but this is only available after 10:30 am when main menu is being served, and does not entitle you to your whole meal for free, which I endeavour to explain to the now irate customer.)

Customer: “So you mean I can’t have my meals for free?”

Me: “No. Like I said, that promotion doesn’t run during breakfast, and even if it did you don’t get your whole meal free. You have to buy it and you get a free cheeseburger or ice cream after.”

Customer: “Well, they’ve been lying to us then! F***this!”

(The customer then left the store, leaving the food on the counter which had to be recorded as waste. I never found out who ‘they’ were.)

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