I Would Like To Disorder

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words

(I work at a very fast-paced chicken finger restaurant on the edge of my college campus. This conversation happens every shift I work in the drive through.)

Me: “Okay, so you’ll have [Order]. Would you like anything else to complete your order?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “…”

Me: “Ok, what else may I get for you?”

Customer: “THAT’S ALL!”

Me: “Thank you please pull up.” *to coworker* “I think they meant to say ‘no.'”

Bringing This Conversation To A Cold Stop

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s a busy lunch hour and this couple orders two meals. After paying for their order they also request that their sandwiches are fresh. We have them sit down and tell them we will run their order out to them when it comes up. About ten minutes after receiving their food the customer comes back up and we have this conversation:)

Customer: “This is the second time I’ve come up here. I said I wanted my food fresh, and this sandwich is cold.” *this is only the first time she has come up since receiving her food*

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. It was made fresh when you asked for it, however.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. My burger is cold.”

Me: “Well, we keep both our tomatoes and our cheese cold, which is probably why your sandwich got cold.” *not to mention that she let it sit untouched for ten minutes*

Customer: “But I asked for it fresh.”

Me: “It was made fresh. But the cold tomatoes and cheese are going to make your burger cold.”

Customer: “I want it made again.”

Me: “That’s fine. We can make it again, but it’s going to end up the exact same way unless you want us to leave the tomatoes and cheese off. We can put them on the side for you, if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want that.”

Me: *offering her back the original sandwich* “Then you’re just going to end up with this again.”

Customer: “But that’s cold.”

Me: “Right, because of the cold tomato and cheese. So do you want me to make it with the tomato and cheese on the side, or do you want this sandwich back?”

Customer: *I could see her thinking really hard about the offer I just made* “I want it remade.”

Me: “With the tomato and cheese on the side?”

Customer: *long pause* “Yes.”

(She didn’t come back up after that, thankfully. I didn’t think I could handle another ride on the merry-go-round.)

Getting That Friday Feeling

| NC, USA | Bizarre

(I am working the night shift on a Friday at a popular fast food restaurant. This is also the first time I am slotted for the closing shift on a weekend. Between customers I am helping the manager clean dishes when suddenly a jeep speeds around the restaurant and hops onto the curb by the front door. Two teenage girls jump out and take several selfies at our door before taking off onto the interstate.)

Me: “What just happened?”

Manager: “Friday night. Friday night…”

A Hot Slice Of Common Sense, Part 2

| NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m the stupid customer in this one. My sister and I went to a custom sandwich shop for a late lunch, and I’m pretty tired. Note: this place offers two different little pizzas, one big and round, and the other, newer, is thinner and square.)

Employee: “What can I get for you?”

Me: “A personal pizza, please.”

Employee: “What kind?”

Me: “Uh, circular.” *holds hands to show the size and shape*

Employee: “I mean, cheese, pepperoni, you know…”

Me: “Oh! Veggie. It’s a veggie.” *I turn to my sister* “Did I really just… Oh, my god.”

Sister: “Yeah.”

(I had to keep from laughing at myself the whole rest of the order!)

Related:
A Hot Slice Of Common Sense

Should Have Gone With The First Order

, | Coruscant | April Fool's Day

(I work at a fast-food place on Coruscant. A couple of robed customers come up.)

Customer #1: “I’ll have the Boba Fettuccine pasta salad with some Sarlaactose-free dip, some Darth Tatertots, and a Grand Muffin Tarkins.”

Customer #2: “I’ll get the Obi-Wan-Kebab, a side of Chewbaklava, and some Qui-Gon-Ginger-snaps.

Me: “Okay, that all comes to 159 galactic credits.”

(The customer then does a weird hand movement.)

Customer #1: “This food is free.”

(As weird as it sounds, I feel compelled to agree with them.)

Me: “This food is free.”

Customer #2: “And you will give us coupons for future free meals.”

Me: “And I will give you coupons for future free meals.”

Customer #1: *really getting into it now* “And you will bring back the McRibba-The-Hutt—”

Customer #2: *interrupting* “Dude, c’mon. Even Yoda can’t bring that back.”

Customer #1: “Fiiiiine.” *to me* “Please let us know when our order is ready.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. I’ve put that order in for you.”

(They walk aside and I serve a few more customers, when I see that their order number has come up but not been collected. I turn to my coworker who prepared the order.)

Me: “Why didn’t those two guys collect their food?”

Coworker: “I don’t know. I called out ‘Order 66 is ready!’ but then they just went all pale and just ran out the door…”

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