Customer: “I’d like one of those unlimited refill sodas.”
Me: “That’ll be [price].”
The customer just stands there, staring at me.
Me: “Was there anything else, sir?”
Customer: “I was here last week and had a soda too.”
Me: “Okay?”
Customer: “I didn’t refill that.”
Me: “I don’t know what you’re asking me, sir.”
Customer: “Can I have my free refill from last week that I never used?”
I order some dinner from a fast food place with a well-known delivery app. I order a promotional burger which is similar to the restaurant’s trademark burger with the addition of bacon and a promotional pepper sauce. I love pepper, so I’m looking forward to the burger.
My food arrives, but my burger is made with just regular mayonnaise, no peppery goodness in sight. I’m disappointed and decide to call the restaurant and complain. The manager answers and tells me I can either log a refund through the app or physically go in myself for a replacement. I really want the burger, so I opt to go in for a replacement.
I arrive and take the old burger in with me. I explain to the cashier that I received it without the pepper sauce, and I show her. She takes the old burger and calls for a replacement.
I take the new burger to the car and open it before I drive off, and I see that it’s made with regular mayo again!
I take it back inside and show the cashier and manager, who look confused.
Manager: “Wait, what sauce is meant to be on this?”
Me: “The pepper sauce, like what is on the menu board and promotional posters.”
The burger has been out for a few weeks, so it’s not like it’s the first day of release. The manager looks confused still and takes the burger back to the cook line and eventually comes back.
Manager: “We don’t have the promotional sauce for this, so we’ve just been using regular mayo.”
Me: “So, when I called to complain and requested the replacement for the wrong sauce, no one thought to tell me? I wasted the drive here for nothing?”
Manager: “Just claim it on the app.”
And she walked away.
The cashier thankfully looked like she actually cared. She offered to get me any replacement burger from the menu I wanted and apologised to me for not checking before.
At my job we have to try to upsell to every customer. This is something that we hate more than the customers (trust me – we do), but we have to do it to keep the managers happy, and therefore keep our corporate overlords happy.
Customer: “I’ll take combo four with a coke.”
Me: “Would you like to go large on that?”
Customer: “No. If I wanted to go large, I would have asked for a large. Do you have to upsell every time I order something?”
Me: “Yes, actually.”
Customer: “Seriously?”
Me: “Yes, seriously. I’m supposed to say something like “I’m just making you aware of all your options so that you can get the best service” or something like that, but neither of us are stupid enough to believe that. Trust me, I hate upselling.”
Customer: “Then don’t do it.”
Me: “Sadly I have to; part of the job.”
Customer: “Then quit.”
Me: “Quit my job?”
Customer: “Yeah, have some principles!”
Me: “So, principles are gonna put food on my kids’ plates while I am looking for a new job?”
Customer: “Not my fault you’re stuck in a dead-end job. Either quit, or do your job without moaning about it!”
Me: “Noted, sir. That’ll be $4.89.”
Next time I’ll just stick to the corporate zombie script. God forbid a customer moans at a fast food worker and expects a human being on the other end.
I’m working at the register at a wings takeout place, trying to earn some extra money over the summer. One evening, while I am chatting with a customer who is waiting for his wings, he spies my genetics book sitting open at the side of the register.
Customer: *Puzzled* “Genetics? What’s that for?”
Me: “Oh, that’s just some assigned reading for the summer.”
Customer: “Assigned? By who? Your manager?”
Me: “Haha, no, my professor. I go to [Local College].”
Customer: “But… you work here?“
Me: “Yes, but only for the summer. It’s back to college after the summer break.”
Customer: “But… why would you go to college when you work here?”
Me: “Because… I don’t want to work here forever?”
Customer: “No… I don’t understand. People who work here they… just work here. And people who go to college go to college.”
Me: “Dude, most of the people who work here are in college. We’re all just working here so we can eat while we go to classes.”
Customer: “Where’s your manager?! You’re not making any sense.”
My manager is already nearby and comes over when mentioned. The customer interrogates the manager; apparently, he is shocked that someone could be working at a restaurant to help pay for their education.
Manager: *Not getting anywhere* “Um… yes, the genetics book — that’s how we breed better chickens with bigger wings!
Customer: *To me* “Oh! Then why didn’t you just say so?!”
Me: “I guess I don’t have those college smarts.”
Customer: “It’s okay; you’re doing good here. Well done! Thanks for the wings!”
I mean, thanks, [Manager], for perpetuating that ignorance, but at the same time, I was too tired to argue with the customer, too.
A mother is ordering at the counter with her daughter, who seems to be around twelve or thirteen or so.
Daughter: “I’d like the veggie burger, please, Mom.”
Customer: *Sighs* “If you’re sure.”
Daughter: “I am! I really want to try to stay vegetarian! Thank you!”
Customer: “Go find us a table and I’ll order.”
The daughter skips away and the customer proceeds to order.
Customer: “A regular cheeseburger and a double-patty special.”
Me: “Ma’am, those aren’t vegetarian.”
Customer: “Well, duh! I’m not an idiot! I know it’s f****** cow!”
Me: “But your daughter said she wanted the veggie burger. I was just checking—”
Customer: “I’m her mother, and I am not letting her eat that liberal fake meat s***! One proper American burger! What she doesn’t know won’t kill her.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not comfortable serving food that will deliberately mislead one of our customers.”
Customer: “I’m the one paying! I’m the customer! Are we going to have a problem?”
Me: “…no, ma’am.”
Customer: “That’s what I thought.”
Me: “Apologies, ma’am. Let me bring your food out to you to make it up to you.”
Customer: “Whatever.”
She heads over to the table her daughter has chosen. I bring the food over on a tray (not normal for us).
Me: “Here are all y’all’s burgers! The meat burgers are in the red wrappers and the vegetarian burgers are in the green wrappers!”
Daughter: “But… they’re all red.”
Me: “That’s right! Enjoy your beef burgers!”
The mother glares at me as I smile and walk away. I can hear some angry hushed conversation at the table as I walk away. After some high-pitched conversation, the mother storms up to the counter.
Customer: “You did that on purpose, you b****!”
Me: “I simply brought your food over on a tray and explained what was being delivered, ma’am. I actually went above and beyond our normal service!”
Customer: “Get your manager! I’m gonna get you into so much trouble!”
I call the manager over, but as I am doing so, the daughter also approaches and speaks to me.
Daughter: “Thank you so much! I don’t even know you, but you’re respecting my choices more than my own mother!”
Customer: “You’re twelve! You don’t get choices!”
Daughter: “And that is why I am choosing to live with Dad! I’ve already called him to pick me up.”
The daughter turns to me.
Daughter: “I’ll stay to explain to your manager that my mother is about to lie to get you into trouble. Don’t worry.”
This amazing twelve-year-old stood her ground with her mother and explained the situation to my manager before her mother could complain. The mother let out a shriek and ran out of the store.
We gave the daughter a free veggie burger while she waited for her father.
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