I Believe In Humanity

| Bakersfield, CA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am at a fast food place with my aunt and uncle. I notice a older man in a Santa hat walking around handing out candy canes.)

Santa: *to me* “Do you still believe?”

Me: “Of course!”

Santa: “You answered well. Here’s a candy cane!”

(Faith in humanity restored!)

Christmas Jeer Starts Earlier Every Year

| USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I’m passing food out to the customers. A lady pulls up who had a very large order.)

Me: “Hello ma’am! Here’s your order.”

Customer: “Could you help me go through my bags and make sure all my food is here. I went to [store fifty miles away] last week and they shorted me a cheeseburger.”

(We are not busy and there is no one behind her so I consent. After a few minutes we determine she has everything that she ordered.)

Me: “Here is your food, ma’am. Have a great day!”

(She suddenly snaps and starts screaming.)

Customer: “I’m calling your corporate offices! This is outrageous!”

(The customer parks and comes in to complain to my manager.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of your staff! I want that little harlot fired!”

Manager: “I’m sorry she upset you, ma’am. Could you please explain to me the problem so I can fix it for you?”

Customer: “I told her I went to [different store] and they shorted me a cheeseburger and she didn’t give me a free one! I want my free cheeseburger!”

Manager: “Well, ma’am, I would be happy to replace it for you but I will need the receipt for the order that was wrong.”

Customer: “I don’t have it anymore.”

Manager: “Okay, then I will call the other store and ask them, they should have your complaint on file.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t call them.”

Manager: “So you don’t have your receipt and you didn’t tell the other store they shorted you a cheeseburger and want us to give you a free one today?”

Customer: “Well… I’m still calling your corporate office!”

Manager: “Can I ask why, ma’am?”

Customer: “No one has wished me a Merry Christmas!”

(The customer leaves and my manager looks at me is disbelief.)

Me: “It’s still November!”

Has A Loose Hold On Definitions

, | Nottingham, England, UK | Uncategorized

(I work as a cashier at a well-known fast food restaurant. The customer I was serving asked for his food to take out.)

Me: “Would you like a cup holder for your drinks?”

Customer: “Is that the thing that goes on top?”

Me: “No, sir, that’s a lid…”

Coupon Complication

| Peterborough, ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Money

(We have several coupons out. One is for a “two can dine.” This means the customer gets two full combos for a set price, in our case $10 + tax.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to use this.”

(Presents coupon.)

Me: “No problem; we can do that for you.”

(The transaction goes well until it’s time for him to pay.)

Me: “That will be [total], please.”

(His total is $11 and change. He hands me $1.50 and the coupon.)

Me: “Sorry, I still need another $10 from you.”

Customer: “No, I gave you the coupon.”

Me: “You did, but you still owe me $10.”

Customer: “The coupon says $10 off. I gave you the coupon so I only owe you the difference.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that isn’t how it works. This coupon lets you buy two combos and you only pay $10 instead of the regular $17 or so.”

Customer: “But it says right there: take $10 off.”

(This goes on for a few minutes, with the supervisor on shift explaining it to him as well. Eventually he leaves without buying anything.)

Customer: *on his way out* “Bunch of morons. Your other store wouldn’t do it right, either.”

Needs A Medium To Understand This Order

| Detroit, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I’m order-taker at the drive-thru.)

Customer: “I’d like a small-medium [Drink].”

Me: *puzzled* “A small-medium [Drink]?”

Customer: *getting really irritated* “YES. A small-medium [Drink]!”

Me: “What size would you like? Small, or medium?”

Customer: “Yes.”

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