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Doesn’t Appreciate The High Five

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work as a cashier. Management is cracking down on miscounted drawers, so I’ve resolved to be extra careful when counting back change. This is my first customer of the day, an older woman.)

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Do you have any deals right now?”

Me: “We have [deal items] for a dollar from two to five.”

Customer: “Let me get three of those and a [dessert].”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is $3.99.”

(The woman rummages through her purse, and then scowls.)

Customer: “I guess I’ll just have to give you this.”

(The woman hands me a $50 bill. My eyes go wide. We don’t store any twenties at the front, and my register had just been changed, so it only has fives and ones. I start counting back her change, checking twice to make sure I hadn’t screwed up the math on such a large movement of cash. I hand her her change. The woman sneers.)

Customer: “Really? All fives?”

Taconfusing

| Parker, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(My mom and I are going through the drive through and we gave our usual order. My mom decides she wants a little more.)

Mom: *into the speaker* “I’d also like to add a crunchy soft taco, beef with no sour cream.”

Worker: “Ok, that’ll be… Wait, what type of beef taco did you want?”

Mom: *totally oblivious to the fact that she is contradicting herself* “CRUNCHY SOFT TACO, PLEASE!”

Worker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it isn’t possible for a taco to be crunchy and soft.”

Mom: “Oh, whoops! Well… forget it, then.”

Being A Customer Is Not Their Calling

, | Yorba Linda, CA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Popular

(A middle-aged lady walks into the store.)

Customer: “Hi, may I have the store’s phone number?”

(I look at my coworker and we share a confused look.)

Me: “May I ask why?”

Customer: “My grandson is in the car and wants to call in an order.”

(In total disbelief, I give her the number and watch her sign it to her grandson through the store window.)

Customer: “Did he call?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay, let me give you his number so you can take his order.”

(Before I can say anything she gives me her grandson’s number so I call but nothing happens.)

Customer: “Well, just walk out to the car and take his order!”

(I went out, took the order, went back and made the sandwich. While she paid for it she commented on how rich she was and how poor we were. Seriously, she told us we were poor and couldn’t afford what she could. She left, leaving no tip. Worst customer ever.)

A Big Mayo No No, Part 3

, | MA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(A customer with a thick accent approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Do you have margarine-aise?”

Me: “Margarine?”

Customer: “No, margarine-aise.”

Me: “Mayonnaise?”

Customer: “No, margarine-aise.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what is it you want?”

Customer: *now angry* “You no listen? Margarine-aise.”

Me: “Mayonnaise?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Related:
A Big Mayo No No, Part 2
A Big Mayo No No

Refuses To Take Sides

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “Hi, I’d like the #7 combo, please.”

Me: “All right, and for your side and drink?”

Customer: “Medium.”

Me: “What would you like them to be?”

Customer: “Diet.”

Me: “Okay, we have 389,929 different drink combinations. Which one, do you want?”

Customer: “Oh, Diet [Soda].”

Me: “Okay, and for your side?”

Customer: “Medium.”

Me: “…”

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