Zero Nutritional Information Must Mean Zero Calories!

, , , , , | Right | December 5, 2018

(I’m ordering food from a popular fast food chain. I see an advertisement outside about their new chicken sandwich. Inside, there’s only one other customer, and the cashier.)

Me: *to the cashier* “Sorry, do you happen to have the nutritional info on the new [Sandwich]?”

Cashier: “I don’t know for certain, but it might be on the board over there.”

(She gestures to the board on the wall showing nutrition facts for most of their items. I check the board and it’s not there. This makes sense, as it’s a new item.)

Me: “Nah, it’s not there. I’m sorry; I’m just bad at making decisions.”

(A customer who has been standing to the side chimes in.)

Customer: “Ah, c’mon, man! You can be good to yourself tomorrow; just get the thing, already!”

Me: “I’ve been good to myself today. This is my only meal!”

Cashier: “Exactly! You can worry about nutrients later!”

Customer: “Yeah, dude, you deserve this! It’s the holiday season, after all!”

Me: “All right, fine. I’ll get the [Sandwich] with fries and a diet [Soda].”

Customer: “See, there you go! A diet soda cancels out all the calories!”

Me: “Yeah, but haven’t you heard? Aspartame cancer, apparently.”

Cashier: “Cancer can wait. Besides, we’ll have a cure by the time you’re old!”

(We all shared a laugh. This exchange guaranteed I’ll be going back!)

You Drive Me To Drink At Extra Cost

, , , , | Right | December 5, 2018

(People can buy part of the kids’ meal without making it a combo, but you won’t get the kids’ meal deal unless you buy an entree, a snack, and a drink. Buying only two items is actually more than buying all three. A woman comes in with her three kids and buys three snacks and three entrees. Believing she wants a kids’ meal, I ask her if she wants a drink; she doesn’t answer me, but continues ordering. I ask her TWICE later on in the ordering process, and she says no. I then repeat the whole order, still believing she wants a drink for her kids and the deal price, but she is fine with the order as is. Then, I cook her food and deliver it to her. Just when I think everything is fine…)

Customer: “Where are their drinks?”

Me: *internal sigh* “You didn’t order them.”

(She throws her receipt down on the counter with force and I pretend I am looking at it, but I know what it says. I try to think of way of telling her that she literally wasn’t listening to me without sounding like I am pointing the finger at her, as she is already yelling at me. I’ve dealt with rude customers before and politely tell them how they misunderstood something, but she really doesn’t listen to me.)

Customer: “It’s your fault! I am going to pay extra! It’s your fault! You also didn’t smile when I first came in here; you were very rude to me! You’re a rude girl!”

(None of this was true, of course; I smiled the whole time when she came in and as she was ordering, as I like kids and I thought she was nice. Then, she actually slammed her credit card on the counter. Now, it would have been very, VERY easy to adjust the price of the kids’ meal on her receipt and get her kids drinks AND the discounted price, so she would actually be getting money back. But… since, she went from 0 to 60 and was telling me that I didn’t smile AND I was rude, I simply got a supervisor to take over for me to complete her order. I let the woman pay extra and complain to the supervisor, while I sat in the back for an early break. So, remember, kids, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.)

Surveys Designed For The Average Customer Should Be Redesigned For Lower-Than-Average Intelligence

, , , | Right | December 4, 2018

(At our store, if you fill out a survey online you get a discount on your next purchase.)

Customer: “Can I just bring my laptop in and have you guys help me fill it out?”

Drive-Thru Staff Who Can’t Get Their Orders Right Get Into A Bit Of A Pickle

, , , , , | Working | December 4, 2018

(I live a couple minutes away from a locally-owned fast food joint. They’re somewhat renowned for subpar service, but the food is pretty good, so my husband and I put up with it. Since we’re both picky eaters, I’m obsessive about double-checking our order. I pull up to the drive-thru and order our usual.)

Me: “Hi. I’d like a number one, plain, with cheese, and a chocolate malt. And another number one, pickles only, no cheese, and a [soda].”

(The employee reads the order back perfectly, mirroring the correct order I see on the screen. I pull up to the window, pay, and check the order on the receipt. Everything is definitely correct. I get our food and drive home. We open our burgers, and neither is correct. His has cheese but tons of veggies — easy enough to fix. Mine, however, is dripping with even more mayo and ketchup than they typically use on burgers. I take mine back and run inside the restaurant, since the drive-thru is now packed.)

Me: *presents the burger and receipt* “Hi! I just went through the drive-thru, and when I got home I realized neither burger matched the receipt. One was salvageable, but I need this one replaced. Can I get a plain number one burger with pickles only?”

Employee: *starts punching buttons on register* “Okay, so just one burger with pickles…”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not going to pay for a new burger. I just need you to give me the burger I paid for in the first place.”

(The employee looks panicked, then runs over and whispers to a manager, who I recognize as the one who handed me my order at the drive-thru.)

Manager: “So, you want us to give you a free burger? You couldn’t eat this one?” *opens burger wrapper and waves the soggy burger at me*

Me: “I’m really sorry; I just can’t eat a burger dripping with sauces I hate. Can I just get the burger that’s listed here on the receipt?”

(The manager snatches the receipt out of my hand, and stomps back to kitchen. She returns a couple minutes later, and smirks at me as she hands me a bag.)

Manager: “There, one plain burger with pickles.”

(She literally ran back into the kitchen as I tried to thank her. I was really worried that someone had spit on my burger, but being pregnant, starving, and grateful that my burger was indeed completely covered in pickles, I decided it was a risk worth taking!)

Up-Charging Goes Downhill

, , , , , | Right | December 3, 2018

(At this sandwich shop, you can substitute bottled drinks (water, juice, milk, etc.) for a fountain drink when purchasing a meal deal, for a small up-charge. The following takes place as the customer is paying for her food.)

Customer: “Can you get milk with the meal deal?”

Me: “Yes, of course. It is just [price] extra.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Me: “So do you want milk with your meal deal today?”

Customer: *fuming* “Why would you ask that?! Do you think I’m fat or something?!”

Me: *horrified* “No! You just asked about getting milk with the meal. I was just seeing if that’s what you wanted to do!”

Customer: *back to normal* “Oh, okay! No, I don’t want milk.”

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