Should Just Drive Straight-Thru That Morning

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a fast-service chain restaurant.)

Me: *taking an order in the drive-thru* “Good morning, welcome to [Company]. What can I get you?”

Customer: “Give me two sausage burritos and a large iced mocha.”

Me: “We only have original and vanilla iced coffee.”

Customer: *huge sigh* “SERIOUSLY? Fine, vanilla.”

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

Customer: “HOW much?!”

Me: “Uh… [amount].”

Customer: “Ugh…” *drives up to window*

Me: *take his payment, hand him his coffee* “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “THAT’S your LARGE size?”

Me: “Uh… yes?”

Customer: *rolls his eyes and looks away from me in disgust, spotting [Other Chain Restaurant] next door to us* “Oh, my god… I’m not at [Other Chain Restaurant]…”

(He was quiet while I finished the rest of his transaction. I figured that since he hadn’t had that coffee yet and it was only 6:00 in the morning, I could be understanding of his plight and not say anything about it either.)

Not Interested In Being A Decent Human Being

, | UK | Bad Behavior

(I’m behind a woman who is being served. I notice something as she takes her food and leaves.)

Me: “Miss. Miss! MISS! You left—”

Customer: *while walking away* “Not interested!”

Me: “But, miss—”

Customer: *while still walking away* “I SAID, I’M NOT INTERESTED!”

Me: “I don’t care. You’ve—”

Customer: *now at the door and finally decides to turn around* “How many times do I have to—”

(She eyes me, then the purse hanging by the strap from my finger. She opens her handbag confused and then blushes furiously.)

Me: “Get it now? Don’t care.”

(I don’t even bother to let to her walk back up to me. I just toss the purse and turn. I don’t even know if she caught it.)

Worker: “You could have just handed it to me and let her find out on her own.”

Me: “That wouldn’t exactly be the nicest thing to do.”

Worker: “Yeah, I guess your way was just as satisfying.”

About To Blow His Muffin Top

, | MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a well-known fast food breakfast chain. An elderly male customer orders a blueberry muffin.)

Me: “And would you like it toasted?”

Elderly Guy: “Yes, I would, but please don’t put it in the oven. It makes it too hot. Just put it in that toaster.”

(We have large oven-like toaster machines and we also have conveyor belt toasters that are only big enough for bagels. The man points at the conveyor belt toaster.)

Me: “Uh, we can’t fit the muffin in there, sir. That one’s just for bagels.”

Elderly Guy: “But that’s how I want it.”

Me: “Okay, but it doesn’t fit, see? The muffin’s too tall.”

Elderly Guy: “Well, just do the best you can.”

(The elderly guy is angry now and I’m done arguing.)

Me: “Sir, I cannot put that muffin in that toaster. The muffin will touch the top of the toaster and it will catch on fire.”

Elderly Guy: “Well, I’ll have it COLD, THEN! Are you HAPPY NOW?!”

Getting Pumped Up

, | MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work for a well-known fast food breakfast chain. A 30-ish man steps up to the counter.)

Customer: “I would like a small coffee with extra, extra cream and extra, extra pumpkin spice and three sugars, please.”

(I’m working the coffee station so I get to work on it. Note that the default for any in a small coffee is two. It’d be two sugars, two creams, two pumps of pumpkin, etc. For every “extra” a customer asks for, we put an additional unit. For his order I use four creams, four pumps of pumpkin goo, and three sugars. And in a small coffee, this takes up more than half the cup. I give the man his coffee after I’ve finished it. Moments later he returns.)

Customer: “Excuse me… It’s not even hot.”

Me: “Oh, well, the cream and pumpkin are refrigerated so it’s not going to be that hot. Would you like me to use less?”

Customer: “NO! I want extra, extra cream, extra extra pumpkin, three sugars!”

(I make the coffee with three creams and three pumps this time with three sugars. I give him the coffee and he tastes it.)

Customer: “Look, this is ridiculous. It’s lukewarm. I need to see a manager.”

(I sent my manager over and watch the customer flail around explaining how terrible I am. Manager made him a coffee with one cream, one pump, one sugar. Guy seemed satisfied and left. Manager looked at me and shrugged.)

Off With Their Calling Aheads!

| Plattsmouth, NE, USA | Food & Drink, Time

(I am working the drive-thru at a fast food joint that is very, very popular in my town. One night, it is extremely busy, and everyone working is flustered. Just when it seems to be clearing up, the crowd from the football game shows up. Then after the drive-thru is packed, a bus of students shows up. Between the bus, the packed drive-thru, and the ice cream machine breaking (the weather is still warm at this time), my manager is at his wits’ end. The telephone rings.)

Manager: “Let it ring. We’re too busy.”

Me: *lets it ring and tries to thin out the drive-thru*

(Telephone rings again.)

Manager: *picks up the phone* “[Fast Food]. This is [Manager] speaking.”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, I would like to place an advance order. I saw the line and it looked pretty busy.”

Manager: *starting to get irritated* “I’m very sorry, but we have no time to take your order. A bus just came in and we are swamped right now.”

Caller: “That’s why I called! So I could get my food right away!”

Manager: *really pissed off now* “Well, sorry to disappoint, but there are actual paying customers here who are willing to wait for their food rather than being a little b**** and calling to order when you don’t feel like waiting. Come in and wait, if you ever grow a pair.” *slams phone down and starts to work on the machine*

Customer In Store: *to the cashier at the front* “You guys have the best boss ever.”

(We never knew if the customer on the phone ever came in or not. I guess it takes a while to grow a pair.)

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