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I Spit On Your Service

| Victoria, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I take an order for a couple for two burgers to go and after receiving their order they leave. I go in the back to make my food for a break and hear over the speaker:)

Customer: *in drive-thru* “We just ordered two burgers and they are cold and dry.”

Drive-Thru Operator: “Sir, I’m sorry. We’ll fix that for you.”

(The drive-thru operator and cook make sure to add lots of sauce and heat the burger in the microwave. I’m now seated near the door on my break. The customer storms into the store and throws the bag onto the counter.)

Customer: “We were hungry; do you know what that’s like? You should have just spit in it. That’s what we did when I worked at [Different National Chain]!” *storms out*

Me: *to manager also on break* “Do we get in trouble for being told we should have spit in someone’s food?”

Manager: “…I don’t think so.”

Me: “Remind me not to eat at [Different National Chain].”

Manager: “Probably a good idea.”

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This Story Has Yet To Be Title

, | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hall of Fame, Movies & TV, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I am the night shift manager at a fast food restaurant. The corporate office had just started a new advertising campaign, and while not openly sexual, it is filled with innuendo. I get a phone call about 10 minutes before closing.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I AM REALLY PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW! My children were watching TV this afternoon when your commercial came on. I cannot believe you would expose my kids to sex like that. I want you to take the commercial down, RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Sir, this is a local store, so it has no control over the TV ads. The corporate office in Southern California produces and purchase all the advertising time for all of [Restaurant]. I would be happy pass of your name and number; that way they can put you in touch with the appropriate person.”

Caller: “THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I want this ad taken off TV right now. You need to get on the phone and call the TV station and tell them to pull this filth off the TV, RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, sir, but I’m just a shift manager at a local store. We are a franchise location with no direct link to the corporate office in Southern California. I simply do not have the authority to make anyone pull these ads, nor does anyone else at this location. The franchise office might be able to help you. Their number is [number], and they open at eight am. You can tell them how you feel in the morning.”

Caller: “HOW CAN YOU ALLOW MY CHILDREN TO BE EXPOSED TO THIS SMUT?! If you cared about your customers you wouldn’t hide behind “authority.” You would listen to your customers, do your job, and have this smut pulled from the TV, RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, sir, but—”

Caller: “BUT NOTHING. GET IT PULLED RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Sir, I’m a 19 year old college student working at a fast food joint. I agree with you that the new ad campaign is kind of inappropriate, but the TV networks simply aren’t going to allow me to call them up at 11:50 at night and have them pull advertisement paid for by someone else. If you give me your name and number I will ask the franchise office to contact you tomorrow, or you can call them at [number], or you can call the corporate office in Southern California at [a phone number I’m never supposed to give out], or you can even file a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission.”

Caller: “I WANT IT OFF THE AIR NOW! If you cared about my kids or your job, you would do it NOW! IF YOU DON’T DO IT NOW, I WILL GET YOU FIRED!”

Me: “Okay, sir, I will pass on your complaint.”

Caller: *all of a sudden he speaks in an almost hushed tone* “You know you’re going to Hell now, right…?” *click*

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I Would Like To Disorder

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words

(I work at a very fast-paced chicken finger restaurant on the edge of my college campus. This conversation happens every shift I work in the drive through.)

Me: “Okay, so you’ll have [Order]. Would you like anything else to complete your order?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “…”

Me: “Ok, what else may I get for you?”

Customer: “THAT’S ALL!”

Me: “Thank you please pull up.” *to coworker* “I think they meant to say ‘no.'”

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Bringing This Conversation To A Cold Stop

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s a busy lunch hour and this couple orders two meals. After paying for their order they also request that their sandwiches are fresh. We have them sit down and tell them we will run their order out to them when it comes up. About ten minutes after receiving their food the customer comes back up and we have this conversation:)

Customer: “This is the second time I’ve come up here. I said I wanted my food fresh, and this sandwich is cold.” *this is only the first time she has come up since receiving her food*

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. It was made fresh when you asked for it, however.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. My burger is cold.”

Me: “Well, we keep both our tomatoes and our cheese cold, which is probably why your sandwich got cold.” *not to mention that she let it sit untouched for ten minutes*

Customer: “But I asked for it fresh.”

Me: “It was made fresh. But the cold tomatoes and cheese are going to make your burger cold.”

Customer: “I want it made again.”

Me: “That’s fine. We can make it again, but it’s going to end up the exact same way unless you want us to leave the tomatoes and cheese off. We can put them on the side for you, if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want that.”

Me: *offering her back the original sandwich* “Then you’re just going to end up with this again.”

Customer: “But that’s cold.”

Me: “Right, because of the cold tomato and cheese. So do you want me to make it with the tomato and cheese on the side, or do you want this sandwich back?”

Customer: *I could see her thinking really hard about the offer I just made* “I want it remade.”

Me: “With the tomato and cheese on the side?”

Customer: *long pause* “Yes.”

(She didn’t come back up after that, thankfully. I didn’t think I could handle another ride on the merry-go-round.)

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Getting That Friday Feeling

| NC, USA | Bizarre

(I am working the night shift on a Friday at a popular fast food restaurant. This is also the first time I am slotted for the closing shift on a weekend. Between customers I am helping the manager clean dishes when suddenly a jeep speeds around the restaurant and hops onto the curb by the front door. Two teenage girls jump out and take several selfies at our door before taking off onto the interstate.)

Me: “What just happened?”

Manager: “Friday night. Friday night…”

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