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They’re Winging It

, | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hey, how are you doing?”

Customer: “I’m not ready yet!”

(We’re trained to greet the customer, ask for his or her name, then proceed through the order, so I wait for twenty seconds or so.)

Me: “Could I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Don’t rush me!”

(A minute later.)

Customer: “I’d like wings.”

Me: “All right, could I have your name for the order, please?”

Customer: “I’m not done yet!”

Me: “We ask for the name at the beginning of the order.”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “All right, [Name], do you want a combo or just the wings?”

Customer: “Just wings.”

Me: “Okay, how many would you like?”

Customer: “Ten.”

Me: “All right, [Name], and will those be boneless or regular wings?”

Customer: “I want the wings.”

Me: “Yes, boneless or regular?”

Customer: “Yeah, hot.”

Me: *louder* “Boneless or regular?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Regular wings are the… regular… wings, like drumsticks and flats. Boneless wings are… without bone.”

Customer: “Yeah, the regular wings. That’s what I said!”

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Some Passive Aggressiveness Is On The Menu

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am a kitchen manager for a popular donut chain and often work the drive-thru window taking orders. It seems people don’t know that prices were on the menu board.)

Me: “America runs on [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “How much is [food item]?”

Me: “Just a second; let me check.”

(I walk out the back door and stand between the customer in her car and the menu board and look at the price. While still standing there I push the button on my headset and say:)

Me: “It’s [price]. Would you like a coffee with that?”

(When I got back inside, the store manager, who also had a headset on, was dying laughing. When the lady got to the window she never said a word.)

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A Day When Everyone Is Fired

| OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work at a fast food restaurant. Right after we open I start smelling something burning. Our building is on fire, and being from a small town four fire trucks show up. The three employees are outside with the fire trucks while firefighters are spraying the building. A lady goes around all the trucks and parks cockeyed in front of the drive-thru, which it is partially blocked by a truck.)

Me: “Ma’am… did you not happen to see the fire trucks you went around?”

Customer: “Yeah… so?”

Me: “Obviously we aren’t open… We have a fire.”

Customer: *yelling* “How am I supposed to get my food?!”

Me: “I’m sorry… I can’t go into our building while it’s on fire… and it’s going to be a while before I can cook anything.”

(She took off yelling at me because she didn’t get her food.)

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Making You Feel Down About The Upgrade

| Pensacola, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(As a manager at this restaurant known for it’s square meat and ice cream desserts, it’s my job to keep the pace fast and satisfy our customers. This happened as our dinner rush was nearing the end.)

Cashier: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Customer #1: “Yes, I’d like a large chocolate ice cream and a small vanilla.”

(Cashier tells them the total and takes their money. Sometimes when it gets busy, we make mistakes. I accidentally upgraded her vanilla into a large. Thinking she’d be happy, I open the window and start giving her her dessert.)

Me: “Ma’am, I accidentally upgraded your dessert. However, you weren’t charged for it! I do apologize.”

Customer #1: “Just means more ice cream for me!”

(So I smile, wish her a nice day, and close my window to go and bag the next order. As I open the window, expecting the next customer, I’m surprised to see my last customer.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer #1: “Where is my small vanilla ice cream?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer #1: My small vanilla! You never gave it to me!

Me: “Ma’am, you were upgraded to a bigger size.”

Customer #1: “I want my damn ice cream! You’re trying to rip me off!!”

(I finally lose my patience as she is destroying my fast drive times and hold my hand out.)

Me: “Ma’am, you obviously don’t appreciate the free upgrade. I’ll take that large vanilla and replace it with a small.”

(Realizing I’m not backing down or giving her more free ice cream, she gives a fake smile and tries to make herself likable again.)

Customer #1: “It was a free upgrade? I’m so sorry, dear; I don’t know what came over me!”

(She finally pulls off, and the next customer pulls up.)

Customer #2: “My gosh! You’d think people would be happy with a free upgrade! Are all your nights like this?”

Me: “There’s always that one person…”

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Milked Them Empty

| NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am at the drive-thru. A regular customer comes through and this is always how it goes:)

Customer: *at the speaker* “Can I get two small coffees and [other items]?”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [total] at the window.”

(At the window:)

Customer: “Can I get, like, six cream and six sugars?”

(I hand him six packets each of cream and sugar.)

Customer: “Can I get six packets for each coffee?”

(I hand him six more packets each. Yes, I’m being passive-aggressive about this, but please remember, this is twelve creams and twelve sugars for two small cups of coffee! Today, however, we’ve run out of creamer for some odd reason.)

Customer: *at the window* “Can I get like, six cream and six sugars?”

(I hand him the sugar but, being passive-aggressive, don’t mention the cream.)

Customer: “Where’s my cream?”

Me: “Sorry, we’ve run out of creamer. Someone’s been asking for twelve creams per order.”

Customer: “Well, this is a business. Maybe you should order some more!”

(He threw the sugar at me and drove off angrily. Later, he came inside and complained to my manager, saying – among other things – that it “isn’t my business” how much cream he asks for (even, apparently, when it runs us out of cream). My manager gave him a free bottle of milk for his trouble and lectured me on not criticizing customers. I still feel like it was worth it. Maybe I’m wrong?)

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