Their Career In Crime Went Pop

| ON, Canada | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid

(I am in university, and I get a job at a fast-food chicken place not far from the main club area, where many students come to drink and party. The restaurant is set up so that customers can place their orders at the front, and while their food is being prepared, they can take a pop or dessert from the cooler. On my first night working, a couple of somewhat inebriated 20-somethings come in. My coworker on cash takes their order and I begin to prepare it in the back. As I’m working, I hear the thumps of running feet in the front, and the bell on the door jingle violently. I turn to look at my coworker who is looking back at me.)

Coworker: *explaining incredulously* “They just stole two cans of pop.”

Me: “Oh.”

(I process this, and wonder what the protocol is and if we need to call the police or anything.)

Coworker: “But they paid for their food.”

(I look down at the empty packages in front of me.)

Me: *with a grin* “Ah.”

(We joked about the incident for the rest of the night, wondering how long the thrill of having successfully stolen $2 worth of pop, would keep the master thieves from realizing they’d left their $15 meal behind.)

Food For Tots

| Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work at a fast food restaurant that offers fries and tater tots; you choose one for your meal.)

Customer: “I need a number four, with [Drink].”

Me: “Okay, did you want fries or tots with that?”

Customer: “Chili cheese tots.”

Me: “Okay, anything else?”

Customer: “No.”

(We prepare the food, I take it out, and a few minutes later they are back to complain.)

Customer: “I didn’t get my fries!”

Me: “You didn’t order fries. I had you down for chili cheese tots.”

Customer: “I know, but there’s a picture of fries on the menu! It comes with fries!”

Me: “It says at the top ‘your choice of tots or fries,’ and you chose tots. I can ring you out for an extra order of fries, if you like.”

Customer: “NO! It’s your fault; you need to fix it! There’s a picture of fries. That means I get fries AND tots.”

(After several minutes of arguing back and forth, and my manager coming out to explain that you can’t get two sides, he sped off in the middle of a sentence.)

Bacon Fakin’

| Springfield, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(In my line of work, dealing with customers results in us having to answer some questions with really obvious answers with a straight face and a calm, friendly tone. This one that I heard over the headset in the drive-thru, however, really took the cake.)

Customer: “What do you call that cheeseburger with bacon on it? The bacon cheeseburger? For $1.69.”

(She is obviously reading it from our outdoor menu as that is the price.)

Customer: *continued* “Does that have bacon on it?”

(It’s a good thing I wasn’t taking orders that day. My sarcastic reply to a coworker was, “No, we just call it that for the fun of it.”)

Thankful For The Child

| Scotland, UK | Family & Kids

(I have served a highly difficult and sulky customer, who has her young son with her. She has just paid for her food.)

Me: “Thanks; enjoy your day.”

Customer’s Son: “Thanks! Mummy, you never said thank you to the lady!”

Customer: “What?!”


(The customer never did say thanks, but had the good grace to look embarrassed!)

Meat-Freedom Isn’t Free

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A well-known fast food chain has been doing free giveaways of their new steak wrap. Their stall has been set up in a busy city square, across the road from a major train station. My girlfriend and I are third and fourth in line for the wraps.)

Employee #1: “There’s your wrap. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “Thanks.” *starts eating his wrap* Oh, my God, this has meat in it! Ew!”

(The man turns back to face the employee.)

Customer: “I’m a vegetarian! I can’t eat meat! Why didn’t you warn me!”

Employee #1: “First of all, there are giant signs all over the square saying that we are giving away STEAK wraps. Secondly, you never said anything about being a vegetarian until after you had started eating that.”

Customer: “So? I want a new wrap. One with no meat in it!”

Employee #1: “Sir, we’re only giving away steak wraps here. If you want a vegetarian wrap, you’ll have to go to our restaurant up the street and buy one.”

Customer: “Oh, for f***’s sake!”

(He throws his wrap into the ground, making a rather large mess, then storms off towards the train station. My girlfriend and I start discussing what just happened, as another employee cleans up the remains of the wrap.)

Girlfriend: “Honestly. How the f*** do you see a sign saying ‘Free steak wraps’ and think ‘vegetarian.'”

Employee #2: *overhearing us* “If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn’t be working here.”

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