Nature’s Calling, Please Don’t Answer

| Langley, BC, Canada | Health & Body

(I work on a berry farm and we have U-pick on the farm. While working in U-pick, I come across a woman and her son walking in the small wooded area beside one of the strawberry fields.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am, I couldn’t help but notice you walking through the trees here. Are you looking for someone?”

Customer: “Oh, hi. Um, no…we aren’t looking for anyone.”

(She continues to walk away from me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to come back to the strawberry field now. This wooded area is actually not on farm property.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s okay. We’ll be quick. My son just needs to poop.”

Me: “Oh! Actually, we ask that you don’t do that here. We have restrooms back at the main building.”

(I point to the building, which is about 20 yards away.)

Customer: *sighs* “Well, alright, but that’s a pretty long way to walk…”

You’ll Just Have To Weight

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Uncategorized

Customer: “Could you add the tomato I sampled to the total price?”

Me: “Do you mean you ate it?”

Customer: “Yes, please add it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we charge tomatoes by the pound, so that would be kind of hard to do.”

Customer: *thinks for a second* “Well, I weighed 157 pounds before I ate it…”

Not Berry Bright

| Shelton, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks up to my berry stand and motions at a pack of strawberries.)

Me: “Hello, sir. A pack is $11.”

Customer: *hands me a dollar bill*

Me: “Sorry, it’s $11 sir.”

Customer:*hands me another dollar and looks at me expectantly*

Me: “Well, I just need nine more of these.”

Customer:*hands me another dollar bill*

Me: “We’re getting there. Eight more.”

Customer: *looks at me, confused, then walks away*