(I am at a half marathon to watch my dad try and beat his PR of 2:25:27. It is around 2:35:00, and we still haven’t seen my dad. My older sister walks down the course to try and find him. She comes jogging back two or so minutes later.)
Sister: “I found him!”
Mom: “Where?”
Sister: “Just wait.”
(Sure enough, a few moments later I see my dad walking to the finish line supporting a woman in her mid-40s on his shoulder with the help of another man. The woman is wobbling and can barely support herself without their help. They cross the finish line at 2:43:02, where she receives immediate medical attention. We walk over to my dad.)
Me: “What happened?”
Dad: “Nothing really, she pretty much collapsed half a mile back. She said she’s a special needs teacher, and she was part of a group that was running for one of her students who was recently hospitalized, and she just wanted to finish for him.”
Mom: “Would you have beaten your record?”
Dad: “Oh, yeah. I was on track for two twenty-two, but that time wasn’t worth not letting her finish the race!”
(A sharply-dressed man comes to the counter with a woman of his age and a five-year-old kid walking near them.)
Me: “Can I help you, sir?”
Man: “Yes, can you tell the price of those books, please?”
(He hands me a list, and I use it to calculate the total price of the books in question.)
Me: “Okay, the total comes to $242.14.”
Man: “All right. Do you take debit cards?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Man: “Ten years ago, when I was a teen, we stole those books in your shop with my wife here as a student prank. Now that we both have a good job, we want to show my kid that you must fix your errors in life.”
(I stayed speechless for a good minute before taking his payment. If there’s a “Customer of the Month” award, this family takes the cake!)
(The following happens when a well-dressed man comes in with bags full of sweets and gifts.)
Customer: “What’s your favorite flavor?!”
Me: “I like the lemon.”
Customer: “Then, give me that! A large! It’s for my wife!” *shakes with excitement*
Me: “I guess those presents and sweets are for her, too?”
Customer: *shakes with even more excitement* “YES! Yes they are!”
Me: “Here you go. That will be five dollars—”
Customer: *unable to contain himself* “MY WIFE IS PREGNANT! PREGNANT! I’m going to have a little son or daughter! HIGH FIVE!”
(The customer proceeds to high five me over the register and throws a bill onto the table.)
Customer: “I’m going to be a dad! Keep the change!” *skips out of the store*
(The bill he threw? It was $50!)
(A cashier at a video game store has been giving me a hard time for being a girl trying to buy several games, including using the phrase “get back in the kitchen.” My little brother, only five but incredibly smart, has been watching all this for over five minutes. He then interrupts me.)
Brother: *smiles innocently* “Hey mister, can I tell you something?”
Cashier: “Sure thing, kid.”
Brother: “You need to shut the f*** up and stop being a miso-ji-stic (misogynistic) a**butt who tells the local Mario Kart champion to go back in the kitchen, whatever that means! Check out the games before she blue-shells your a** to Chicago and back!”
Cashier: *turns red and shuts up*
(Speechless, the cashier checks out the games in record time while refusing to make eye contact with me. The cashier was gone a week later.)
(I’m traveling with my daughter to get her treatment for cancer. Since an old family friend lives in the area I have to take her for her treatments, we visit while we’re there and I meet his girlfriend for the first time. My daughter’s hair has just fallen out, and she admires the woman’s very long hair while we’re eating dinner. That weekend, the two of them stop by the hospital to visit and her very long hair is noticeably shorter.)
Daughter: *sadly* “Oh! You cut your hair!”
Friend: “Yup!”
Daughter: “If I had hair like yours, I’d never cut it.” *putting her hands on her scalp*
Friend: “Oh, really? I don’t mind it. I like doing new things with my hair, don’t you?”
Daughter: *sniffling* “Sometimes… I can’t wait for it to grow back!”
Friend: “Well, I have a surprise for you.”
(She took a wig out the box she had with her that looked like it would be about shoulder length on my daughter, and showed it to her. It turned out that a friend of hers was a wig maker, so she’d actually cut off a good deal of her own hair, and had it made into a wig. I hadn’t seen my daughter that happy since her diagnosis! She made a full recovery, and we just got a wedding invitation for those two last month!)
