Bad Parenting: Seeing Is Believing

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2009

(I was working the box office when a woman with two young children came up to the window.)

Customer: “One adult and two children for ‘Scary Movie.'”

Me: “Ma’am, I should warn you – this movie really isn’t appropriate for little children. May I suggest another film?”

Customer: “What? Come on, it’s a comedy! It’ll be fine!”

Me: “It’s rated ‘R’. It’s pretty much nothing but sex, nudity, and violence. It’s really not for kids.”

Customer: “I’ll decide what is and isn’t appropriate for my kids to watch! Now sell me the tickets!”

(I sell her the tickets. Five minutes into the movie, the woman comes storming back out with her kids in tow.)

Customer: “You didn’t tell me it was THAT bad!”

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Now Showing In Utero Vision

, | Right | January 12, 2009

(A very pregnant customer and her small child walk up to the theater box office.)

Customer: *points at marquee* “Are these all the movies you got playing?”

Me: “Yep, I’d say so….”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have three for [Movie].”

Me: “Are there any children in the group?”

Customer: *points to boy and pregnant belly* “Yes, two.”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t charge for children age 2 and under… or unborn fetuses…”

Customer: “Okay… just one, then!”

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Family Values, Part 2

, , , , | Right | October 21, 2008

Me: “Welcome, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Why haven’t I received my movie?”

Me: “Which one was it?”

(He gives me the name of the movie, and I check on the computer to see if that title is available.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, we don’t have it on stock yet, but we will have your copy by Wednesday.”

Customer: “But you have it already for rental!” *goes to the shelf and brings me one of the cases*

Me: “Yes, but those are for rental only. We receive a few copies for rental only, and a few days after we get the ones for sale.”

Customer: “Then give me this one.”

Me: “That one is exclusively for rental.”

Customer: “F*** it. I’m leaving!” *storms out of the store with the DVD*

Me: “Hey!”

(I call mall security. A few minutes later, a guard comes laughing to the store.)

Guard: “Is this the stolen DVD?”

Manager: “Yes, thank you.”

Guard: “We found him trying to get in his car and two kids were inside. When we got him the kids started to cry, but not because we were taking his grandpa into custody.”

Me: “Then why?”

Guard: *laughs* “They were crying because they weren’t getting the movie today.”

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Whoaaahh, Am I Moving The Mouse Or Is It Moving Me

, , , | Right | October 2, 2008

Me: “Okay, so what seems to be the problem?”

Caller: “Well, it’s my son’s computer, it’s… smoking.”

Me: “It’s smoking? Is it making a loud beeping sound or is it hot? Anything else that would indicate that it’s on fire?”

Caller: “No! It’s not hot or anything. In fact, it seems to work just fine, but after it being on for about two or three minutes it starts to smoke.”

Me: “Okay… well, shut the machine down, unplug it, and then hold down the power button for about ten seconds.”

Caller: “Okay. Got it. Now what?”

Me: “Okay, open the case and take a look inside. Does anything look melted or cracked or–”

Caller: “Oh…”

Me: “You found the problem?”

Caller: *angry* “Oooh, yeah. There’s… uh… there’s a little plastic bag taped to the inside of the case… full of dried green stuff.”

Me: *trying not to laugh*

Caller: “Thanks for your help. I need to go have a talk with my son.” *click*

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*Prays For Baby*

, | Right | September 18, 2008

(I work at a company that sells parts over the phone. Customers need to get us a model number so we can help them find parts.)

Me: “The model number will be located right on the back of the TV.”

Customer: “I can’t see the back of the TV.”

Me: “Well, can you turn the TV around?”

Customer: “No, I can’t turn the TV around! It might fall on the baby!”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

Customer: “Ugh, the baby is under the TV! If I turn it, it might fall on the baby!”

Me: “Well, can you move the baby?”

Customer: “Ugh, fine, I guess!”

(She got her part and the baby survived the exchange.)

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