The Matrix Rejected

, , , | Right | June 24, 2008

(I used to work in a shop selling overpriced family coat of arms in a shop at a certain theme park in Florida. After a transaction has gone through, this customer turns to her daughter.)

Customer: “Was that lucky?”

Oracle Child: *stares blankly*

Customer: “Was it unlucky to buy it using that card?”

Oracle Child: “Yes…”

Customer: “You sure it was unlucky?”

Oracle Child: “Yes.”

Customer: “I have to cancel that purchase and use a different card.”

Coworker: “It’s already gone through.”

Customer: “This is [Theme Park]!”

(My coworker had to oblige the customer and handed her the forms to cancel it. Stupidly, she refused to sign the forms and stormed out with her husband and Oracle Child in tow.)

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One Loses His Allowance, The Other His Immortal Soul

, , , , | Right | June 22, 2008

(I am in high school working at a dollar store. It’s a small town so Sundays are usually busy after church services. This man, his wife, and his young son are in line.)

Me: “That will be $25.30.”

Customer: “I’ve only got $15… We gave $20 at the offering today. You think you could give me a break?”

Customer’s Young Son: *innocently* “We didn’t give any money at church today.”

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He Obviously Gets His Smarts From Mom

, , , | Right | June 19, 2008

Little Boy: “Can I have a medium Icee?”

Me: “Sure! That’ll be $1.48.”

(The little boy hands me $1.50 and I give him his change. He scampers off to get his Icee as his dad stomps up.)

Dad: “Can I get another medium Icee for my daughter?”

Me: “Sure, It’s $1.48.”

(The dad pays and I give him his cup. By this time the boy is back, happily drinking his Icee and standing next to his dad.)

Dad: *rudely* “WELL?! Where’s my Icee?!”

Me: *confused* “Uh, the cup is right there, sir.”

(The little boy is trying to get his dad’s attention to tell him where the self-serve Icee machine is located. However, the dad is ignoring him and yelling at me.)

Dad: “I PAID FOR AN ICEE, NOW WHERE IS MY ICEE!?”

Me: “Sir, the machine is around the corner.”

Dad: “Finally! God, are you simple or something?!”

Me: “?!”

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Ah, Parents…

, , , , | Right | February 9, 2008

(The phone rings at around six-ish.)

Me: “Hello, this is D-…”

(I hear loud crying in the background.)

Man: “Hello, Disney World? I’m just calling to say that if my children don’t finish their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won’t be visiting you this year.”

Me: “I… er… What?”

Man: *whispering* “Thank you.” *click*

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Suddenly, I Feel Very Sorry For Her Child

, , , , | Right | February 1, 2008

Woman: Excuse me, I’ve lost my child somewhere in the store.

Me: “Okay. I’ll get someone right away.”

(I call in a code yellow.)

Me: “Okay, how old is your child?”

Woman: “She’d just turned three. Oooh, what if she’s been kidnapped?”

Me: “Don’t worry; I’m sure that’s not the case.”

(Security comes up to talk to her and she turns around.)

Security: “Ma’am, how many children do you have?”

Woman: “Just one. Why?”

Security: “Because your child is on your back.”

(She was wearing one of those harnesses.)

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