You Can’t Beat Traditional Parenting  

, , , | Right | June 16, 2017

(The phone rings at the front desk, but when I answer it I just hear it hanging up, so I call back to make sure everything is okay.)

Me: “This is [My Name] at the front desk; did you just try to call?”

Guest: “It must have been one of my kids. I’ll go beat them now.”

Airports Always Bring Out The Goodbyes

, , , , | Right | June 14, 2017

(My mum is the bad customer in this story. This takes place back in ‘80s before I was born. My mum is saying goodbye to a then-boyfriend at an airport, in a very inappropriate public display of affection. They are passionately kissing with my mum straddled across his lap; they can barely take their hands off each other, groping, grabbing, etc. Eventually they pull themselves apart and she goes to the check in. In her defence, mum has always had a wicked sense of humour.)

Air Hostess: *while at boarding gate* “So, saying goodbye to a loved one?”

Mum: “Yeah, that was my brother.”

Air Hostess: *literally jumps and stares at my mum in horror*

(Mum said she hoped one day the hostess realised she was joking.)

Will Try Logan And Again And Again

, , , , | Right | June 13, 2017

(I work at a very popular cinema as a supervisor. A very popular superhero movie has just been released; unlike its predecessors, it has received a high rated label, R16. Law in this country states that parents CANNOT give consent for under-aged kids to attend. If a person looks under a certain age, we are legally required to ask for suitable ID, or we must deny entry. A customer has picked up from me his online booking for four adult tickets from our counter. As we are trained to do, I enquire if everyone attending is the age of 16 or older, with correct ID if under 25, which is more a precautionary ask. This just means we have some stance behind us if someone tries to pull a fast one and say “no-one told me about the rating.” Usually this is not a problem. This man assures me everyone is an adult of correct age. Minutes later, I am called upstairs to the entrance of the cinemas. I find the customer with whom I assume are his wife, and two children, clearly under the age of 13. He looks furious, and as soon as I approach, he starts ripping into me verbally regarding his right as a parent to allow his children to watch what he allows.)

Customer: “This is just unbelievably stupid. I am their father; I say they are old enough to watch this film! What right do you have to check their age, and to tell them no?”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, it is NZ law that they have to be the age of 16 and older. Parents cannot overrule this. And as a cinema, we have a policy that we need to check anyone who looks under a certain age, and deny them if they cannot provide the proof they are of age.”

(Note the years of practice in this sentence, because this is not the first time I have had to use this.)

Customer: “Where does it say this? I didn’t see any information anywhere that they weren’t allowed? No-one told me anything when I bought my tickets!”

Me: “You were asked, at the counter when you picked them up, if everyone was of age with suitable ID.”

Customer: “I was not! Your staff did not ask me!”

Me: “I picked your tickets up, sir, and I distinctly remember asking you this. You told me all four tickets were for ADULTs, as you booked it.”

Customer: *recognises me* “Well, that doesn’t give you any right to deny my kids. I am their father, and I say their dates of birth are [two different, clearly older than actual date of births] and [repeats date of his and wife’s birth in spiteful manner] just in case you decide you want mine and my wife’s!”

Me: “Well, you and you wife are clearly over the age of 16… but your kids look under-aged and we need better proof than just parental information.”

Customer: “Where is your information around the building stating this, then?”

(I point to plaques on the wall with information four feet away, providing visual proof of law and cinema policy that we keep on hand on the floor for these circumstances.)

Me: “Also, when you book tickets, you must tick you have read these terms and conditions before being allowed to complete transaction. It is not the responsibility of the cinema if you fail to read them.”

Customer: *starts to get real nasty in his language*

(We go back and forth for a few minutes, and he asks to speak to my manager. I walkie-talkie downstairs, but the managers are dealing with another difficult customer at this point, so I inform the gentleman he must wait. This sets him off more, and he states he will just walk into the theatre with his kids. I inform him I will not stop him, but I will be asking security to remove him and his family, as is our protocol. He starts saying to me he will call a local newspaper to tell them how shameful we are, etc.)

Customer #2: *who has been waiting patiently in the background for another theatre to finish being cleaned* “Mate, just give it up! Stop being a f****** d*** about this! She told you why your kids can’t go in. Go be a f****** s***ty parent at home! Everyone knows this movie ain’t for kids!”

(The man swore at the other gentleman, at which point I asked him to leave. He and his family ended up going downstairs to demand a refund of money. They were offered to be placed into another non-R-rated film, even an upgrade in theatre to 3D, or to receive complimentary passes to come back on another day. They kept demanding money back, but were refused this, as they had purchased online and it was their responsibility to be aware that choosing a film marked R16, did not mean they could take in their kids, who turned out to be 8 and 12 year sold. I gave the other customer a free large popcorn. It’s rare someone sticks up for us like that! It was appreciated that he understood. Thank you kind customer.)

Credit Of The Dead

, , , , , | Working | June 9, 2017

(My mother was big into mail ordering. When she died suddenly, my sisters and I were trying to clear up her affairs. A package was delivered about two weeks later, and I call the mail order house.)

Me: “We just received a package from you that my mother ordered shortly before her death. I’d like to return it for a refund, please.”

Customer Service Rep: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Can I issue a credit?”

Me: “No, I’d like a refund check made out to my mother’s estate.”

Customer Service Rep: “Well, we’d prefer to issue a credit.”

Me: “Did you hear me tell you that this person is dead? She’s probably not going to order too much more from you.”

Customer Service Rep: “I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to my supervisor.”

Me: “Well, unless he can bring her back, I’ll have to insist on a refund.”

(I eventually did receive a refund check.)

All Sugar And No Sweetness

, , , , , , | Right | June 7, 2017

(I work for a large chain retail store as a cashier. A customer and her daughter come to my line and unload their groceries. A bag of sugar is in the middle of her items. I get to the sugar.)

Customer: Oh, no, don’t scan that yet! There’s a hole in the top of the bag!

Me: *inspects the bag carefully for a while until I finally find perhaps the tiniest hole I’ve ever seen* “Okay, I see what you mean. I’m sorry about this; would you like to go and get a new bag while I scan the rest of your items?”

Customer: “H*** no! You have to get me a new bag yourself! It’s your d*** job!”

(A Customer Service Manager, or CSM, has to be the one to go back and replace the item. However, it’s an extremely busy day and half of them are already on the registers, so it takes a bit for one to show up. During this time, the daughter repeatedly offers to go get the new bag, but the mother refuses.)

CSM: *finally shows up* “Ma’am, are you sure you wouldn’t like your daughter to go get the bag?”

Customer: “IT HAS TO BE YOU! IT’S YOUR JOB!”

(The CSM leaves to get the sugar, while I continue to scan the rest of the items. The customer refuses to let me scan the bag of sugar, stating she won’t pay for the ‘tainted’ bag even if she gets a ‘fresh’ one. The code is the same for the sugar anyway, which I try to explain, but she won’t have any of it. Eventually the CSM comes back and I finish the transaction. A couple hours later, the daughter comes through my line again.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Hi, I wanted to apologize for my mom’s behavior before. She knew about the hole the entire time and she just wanted to make a scene. She said, and I quote, ‘I wanted to show them what a white ghetto b**** is.’”

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