(My cousin’s husband swears like a sailor, but he’s been trying to tone it down since his daughter was born.)
Daughter: *drops cookie* “D*** it!”
(Everyone turns to look at my cousin’s husband and his wife glares.)
Cousin’s Husband: “It wasn’t me! It wasn’t me!”
His Mom: “You’re right. That was too tame for [Cousin’s Husband].”
Cousin’s Husband: “THANK YOU… Hey, wait a minute…”
(A bunch of the older uncles are setting up a small canopy to provide shelter for the food buffet, but they are having trouble figuring out how to set it up.)
Uncle #1: “I don’t remember how this goes together…”
Uncle #2: “They put a bunch of tents like this up every year at the fair, how hard can it be?”
Uncle #1: “Yeah, but they’re a lot smarter than we are…”
(My cousins are about seven and nine years old. They are sitting on the couch with their sister, and squabbling over something. The older one bops the other in the nose.)
Younger Cousin: “Ow! You’re a fail! You should have been the third child; that’s the one dad didn’t want!”
(The entire room falls silent.)
Uncle: “Heh… I should probably be more careful about what I say around the kids, shouldn’t I?”
(It’s Memorial Day weekend. My girlfriend, her sons, my son and I go to visit with her family. I meet her brothers for the first time. During the day, I’m making up ‘Star Wars’ trivia questions for my girlfriend’s two sons. My girlfriend’s brother is answering each question with ‘Frank’.)
Me: “What was Grand Moff Tarkin’s first name?”
Girlfriend’s Brother: “Frank!”
Me: “Name any three bounty hunters.”
Girlfriend’s Son: “Boba Fett, Jango Fett, and… uh…”
Girlfriend’s Brother: “And Frank!”
(Amused, I decide to get the better of him.)
Me: “Okay, next question: What was the first name of the man who did Yoda’s voice?”
Girlfriend’s Brother: “…well played.”
(At my family reunion, I am really nervous. I am coming out to everyone on my dad’s side of the family, plus having them meet my girlfriend, all at the same time. Upon meeting my girlfriend, this is what my grandma says…)
Grandma: “It’s like having another granddaughter, except you were easier because we didn’t have to birth you!”
(I love my family.)
This story is part of the Family Reunion roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
23 Funny Stories About Terrible Cousins And Why We Put Up With Them!
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Read the Family Reunion roundup!
