Maybe Virtua-Maui Is Still Affordable?
We’re at my parents’ house for a casual family gathering. My mid-thirties cousin is on his third beer and has started his usual loop of talking about his crypto portfolio like it’s a rescue dog that just needs more time to thrive.
Cousin: “The thing about decentralized finance is, you gotta think long-term. That’s how the big players move.”
Uncle: “Last month, you said you were selling your car to invest in ‘digital land.'”
Cousin: “It’s called the metaverse. And yeah, it’s appreciating.”
Grandma: “Digital land? So it’s fake?”
Cousin: “It’s not fake, it’s virtual. That’s the future.”
Aunt: “The future better pay rent if it’s gonna live in my basement.”
Cousin: *Puffs up.* “Okay, laugh now, but when you’re all stuck here in the cold winter, I’ll be using my digital assets to buy land in Maui!”
We all pause. My aunt (his mom) sets down her drink, looks at him over her sunglasses, and hits him with the line of the day:
Aunt: “Sweetheart, you couldn’t ever finish Monopoly without rage-quitting. Maybe hold off on land deals.”
I decided not to chip in that he bought a virtual yacht and asked me for gas money on the same day.