Fake ID Is Always A Gamble

, , , | Right | December 31, 2009

(I’m a member of the security staff at a casino, and three men approach to me, one of them looking a little young.)

Me: “Can I see some ID?”

(The youngest one gives me an ID where it says he’s 22. I ask him how old he is just to check.)

Me: “How old are you?”

Customer: “17.” *pauses* “Ah, I f***ed up, didn’t I? I’ll just wait in the car.”

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Extreme Makeover: Criminal Edition

, , , | Right | October 7, 2009

(I work in a check-out lane at a grocery store. A boy who looks about 16 walks up to the check-out and puts a twelve-pack of beer on the lane.)

Me: “May I see your ID?”

Customer: “Who do you think you are, a cop? No!”

Me: “If you want to purchase these, I need to see your ID. You don’t exactly look over 21.”

Customer: “Fine, b****!”

(He then hands me his ID, which has a picture of an elderly man on it.)

Me: “Sorry, you can’t buy these.”

Customer: “What the h***! I just gave you my ID!”

Me: “This ID belongs to an elderly man who has a gray mustache and beard.”

Customer: “It’s called Botox and shaving.”

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A Tall Story

, , | Right | September 25, 2009

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “A pack of cigarettes.”

Me: “Can I see your ID please?”

(He hands over an ID of an obvious relative, but not him. The ID says he’s 6’1” and 238 lbs, but this kid is maybe 5’7” and 180 lbs.)

Me: “This is you?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

(I proceed to quiz him on everything on the ID and he gets it all right, without hesitation.)

Customer: “Um, I’ve been sick.”

Me: “So you lost some height then?”

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