Losing The Daddy Of All Sales

, , , , , | Working | August 21, 2019

(When I am 26, in the 80s, I go to buy my first new car. I have researched the value of the car using Consumer Reports and other car-buying magazines and I know what I want to pay for it. I take my father with me; he is in his 50s at the time. At the first dealer, the transaction goes something like this — boiled down from a 30-minute conversation.) 

Me: *to the dealer* “I’d like to look at your inventory of [year] [Model]s in blue or silver with very few extras, like no moonroof.”

Dealer: *to my father* “What kind of car are you interested in today, sir?”

Father: *pointing to me* “She’s buying the car. Don’t ask me.”

Dealer: *to my father* “Would you be interested in taking out a loan?”

Me: *to dealer* “I’d like to discuss the price of the car first and take a test drive.”

Dealer: *to my father* “Would you like to go on a test drive? I need a copy of your driver’s license.”

Father: “She’s buying the car and wants a test drive, after you answer her questions.”

Dealer: *to my father* “I think we can get you set up in a test drive, if you’ll come this way.”

Me: *to the dealer, holding my checkbook above my head and waving it like a flag* “I’m buying the car and I’d like to ask some questions.”

Dealer: *to my father* “Sir, come right this way for a test drive.”

(I got up, still waving my checkbook and walked out the door. My father got up and followed me.)

Dealer: *to my father* “Sir! Where are you going?”

Father: *shrugging at the dealer* “I’m with her.”

(I glanced back to an astounded look on dealer’s face as his guaranteed car sale drove away.)

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Stocking Up On Toilet Paper Is A Sign Of The Apocalypse

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2017

(The store manager authorizes a woman to purchase 42 packs of a particular brand of toilet paper, thus selling out our entire inventory, which is usually not allowed. The customer then uses coupons for each one, requiring me to do 11 different transactions because of coupon limits.)

Customer: “These won’t all fit in my car. Can I leave them here while I make multiple trips to my house?” *gestures right in front of guest service desk*

(Usually this is not allowed, but I am feeling nice and there isn’t much else she can do.)

Me: “Actually, if you could move them right over there around the corner, that should be all right.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

(The customer leaves them right in front of desk and begins to walk off. My supervisor [not the manager from before] walks up.)

Customer: “Actually, can I get help to my car?”

Supervisor: “For insurance reasons, only cart attendants can help, and we don’t have any in right now. I’m sorry! Someone is coming in 20 minutes, if you’d like to wait.”

(The customer left angrily, came back an hour later, took the rest of the toilet paper, and would not accept help to her car, even though someone was now available. She then demanded I give her the name of my supervisor, and later called to complain about how we were all so rude and unhelpful. Later that day, we had four or five customers come in asking for that brand of toilet paper, but we didn’t have any. When we called other stores to see if they had any, we found out the same woman had bought out the inventory of two other stores.)

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