Sounds Like A “Not Always Right” Editor

, , , | Working | October 17, 2018

(I have some of the best coworkers, and we like to joke around a lot. One of them is a middle-aged lady who is a real darling, but she has her quirks, one of them looking angry whenever she works hard or is really focused on something. She is working on the far side of the table from me. I’m chatting with another coworker while we work.)

Coworker: “What’s up with [Female Coworker] today? She looks so cranky! Come to think of it… she always kind of does.”

Me: “Nah, she’s never cranky. She just works hard!” *to the female coworker* “Hey, [Female Coworker]. You are always such a pleasant and cheerful person!”

Female Coworker: “Nope, I’m a miserable old hag!”

Me: *pause* “I was trying to make you look good.”

1 Thumbs
471

Throwing Out Or Throwing Up?

, , , , | Working | September 17, 2018

(The cat food production line has started to reek, so when I have some downtime, I go through and find out that line workers have been just putting open, rotting, maggot-infested boxes of cat food under tables, maybe to hide them. I get a bin and some gloves and start throwing the opened and contaminated stuff into the bins. A new guy walks up to me.)

New Guy: “Are you just throwing those out?”

Me: “Yep.”

New Guy: “Can we take them?”

Me: *looking horrified* “What?!”

New Guy: “Well, if the company is throwing them out, can we take them?”

Me: “You don’t want them! Do you smell that? Do you see the things moving?”

New Guy: “Well, some look okay.”

Me: “They are contaminated. I’m throwing them into a special large trash can, which is locked… and now I know why.”

1 Thumbs
497

Don’t Quit What You’re Doing

, , , , | Working | August 21, 2018

(It’s my second day of working a new job as quality assurance. I was warned that production hates quality assurance people because the job is to find the mistakes and make people do things all over again. I’m very friendly, easy going, and sarcastic, and it doesn’t hurt that I’m a woman who is 110 pounds soaking wet, so I don’t look scary. On my first day, I make friends with 90% of production. No one is getting mad at me for sending things back. On day two, this happens. I walk up to the line. [Coworker #1] on my right is putting product in boxes. [Coworker #2] on my left is moving the boxes to a shrink wrapper.)

Me: “All right, guys, I’m here to ruin your day.”

Coworker #2: “F*** this s***! I’m out!” *walks away*

Me: “Woah.”

Coworker #1: “Where is he going?”

Me: “I don’t know. He literally just said, ‘F this S. I’m out,’ and now he’s out. What did I do?”

Coworker #1: “Nothing. He’s just lazy.”

Me: “All he had to do was push a thing into another thing!”

Coworker #1: “Yep.”

(I was still freaked out that my little joke made him quit for about three minutes, until I heard someone won the pool on when that guy would quit.)

1 Thumbs
608

Lower Your Guard, Not Your Price

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2018

(I manage a distribution center, but I am filling in for the manager of another facility for the week. One of the duties of the branch manager is to fill all walk-in orders.)

Customer: “What are your prices?”

Me: *indicating clearly-marked price board* “The prices are [amount] and [volume discount price].”

Customer: “Well, I always pay [lower price]. I buy from the other branch all the time and they give me a discount!”

Me: “You mean the facility in [City]?”

Customer: “Yes, I purchase from them all the time! You should give me the same price.”

Me: “That’s odd; I don’t recall ever seeing you before.”

Customer: “Why would you have seen me before?!”

Me: “I am the manager of the branch in [City], and I handle all accounts for that location.”

Customer: “Um, I’ll just take [product] at regular price.”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day, sir.”

1 Thumbs
642

Warming Up Those Blue Collars

, , , , , | Working | June 4, 2018

(I work in a factory, but mainly in the office. In other words, I’m what you would call a “white-collar worker.” Every now and then, as part of my job, I have to visit the production area.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], meet [New Hire]. He’s new here, and you’ll be seeing a lot of him.”

New Hire: “Hi, it’s nice to meet you. I would shake your hand, but unfortunately, I’m all dirty right now.”

Me: “Really? Oh, no, buddy, that won’t do. I don’t believe in that kind of thinking.”

(I shake his hand, anyway, and even go in for a “bro-hug.” When I remove myself from him, both my hand and shirt are covered in dust.)

Me: “I don’t believe in office politics. Us suit-wearing stiffs aren’t nearly as important as you think. We’re all on the same team here, and I’m rooting for you.”

(Treat blue-collar workers with respect, people! Their job is just as, if not more important.)

1 Thumbs
552