Unfiltered Story #128480

, , | Unfiltered | November 30, 2018

(I am working as an on-site rep in an industrial plant to maintain specific equipment. There is a plant engineer who doubts everybody. He would ask a question. If, out of ten people, nine would answer blue and one would answer turquoise, he would question the nine blue answers, and keep asking the same question, again and again, because he had a doubt about the answer. He would regularly ask the same questions to different people, until he got a slightly different answer, so he would doubt all the other answers. One time, I had a coworker come in from another site to give me a hand.)

Coworker: “I saw the engineer.”

Me: “Let me guess. He asked you about .”

Coworker: “Yeah.. what’s the story about that?”

Me: “Someone told him , so now, he doubts it all, and asks that question to everybody from [our company] that comes in.”

One time, he was in an operator booth with the operator. I enter the booth and he immediately asked me a question.
I gave the answer.
The operator looks at him, pissed off.

Operator: “The next time you have a question, why don’t you go ask [my name] instead?

Engineer: “Whut? Why?”

Operator: “You asked me a question. I gave you the answer. You ask [my name] the same question. He gave you, word for word, the same answer. You don’t believe me, you believe him. Next time, ask him and leave me the fu** alone.”

The engineer looked around wide eyes and left. At another time, I had just fixed a problem on our equipment.

Me: “There. It’s working properly now.”

Engineer: “what makes think it works properly?”

Me: “Because the self-test results are good.”

Engineer: “How do you know they’re good?”

Me: “Because they show the values I am expecting to see.”

Engineer: “What do those value means?”

Me: “the raw value and ratio between wavelength A and wavelength B. Do you understand what I just said?”

Engineer: *sheepishly* “no…”

One of the operator booths had two doors on opposite sides. At one point, he would come in and as soon as he would put his hand on the door handle, the whole booth would go empty by the other door. He would enter, look around at the control screen, and walk out, upon which the operators and other personnel would enter back the booth.

I left that plant shortly after that. I wonder what happened to him.

Sounds Like A “Not Always Right” Editor

, , , | Working | October 17, 2018

(I have some of the best coworkers, and we like to joke around a lot. One of them is a middle-aged lady who is a real darling, but she has her quirks, one of them looking angry whenever she works hard or is really focused on something. She is working on the far side of the table from me. I’m chatting with another coworker while we work.)

Coworker: “What’s up with [Female Coworker] today? She looks so cranky! Come to think of it… she always kind of does.”

Me: “Nah, she’s never cranky. She just works hard!” *to the female coworker* “Hey, [Female Coworker]. You are always such a pleasant and cheerful person!”

Female Coworker: “Nope, I’m a miserable old hag!”

Me: *pause* “I was trying to make you look good.”

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Throwing Out Or Throwing Up?

, , , , | Working | September 17, 2018

(The cat food production line has started to reek, so when I have some downtime, I go through and find out that line workers have been just putting open, rotting, maggot-infested boxes of cat food under tables, maybe to hide them. I get a bin and some gloves and start throwing the opened and contaminated stuff into the bins. A new guy walks up to me.)

New Guy: “Are you just throwing those out?”

Me: “Yep.”

New Guy: “Can we take them?”

Me: *looking horrified* “What?!”

New Guy: “Well, if the company is throwing them out, can we take them?”

Me: “You don’t want them! Do you smell that? Do you see the things moving?”

New Guy: “Well, some look okay.”

Me: “They are contaminated. I’m throwing them into a special large trash can, which is locked… and now I know why.”

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Don’t Quit What You’re Doing

, , , , | Working | August 21, 2018

(It’s my second day of working a new job as quality assurance. I was warned that production hates quality assurance people because the job is to find the mistakes and make people do things all over again. I’m very friendly, easy going, and sarcastic, and it doesn’t hurt that I’m a woman who is 110 pounds soaking wet, so I don’t look scary. On my first day, I make friends with 90% of production. No one is getting mad at me for sending things back. On day two, this happens. I walk up to the line. [Coworker #1] on my right is putting product in boxes. [Coworker #2] on my left is moving the boxes to a shrink wrapper.)

Me: “All right, guys, I’m here to ruin your day.”

Coworker #2: “F*** this s***! I’m out!” *walks away*

Me: “Woah.”

Coworker #1: “Where is he going?”

Me: “I don’t know. He literally just said, ‘F this S. I’m out,’ and now he’s out. What did I do?”

Coworker #1: “Nothing. He’s just lazy.”

Me: “All he had to do was push a thing into another thing!”

Coworker #1: “Yep.”

(I was still freaked out that my little joke made him quit for about three minutes, until I heard someone won the pool on when that guy would quit.)

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Lower Your Guard, Not Your Price

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2018

(I manage a distribution center, but I am filling in for the manager of another facility for the week. One of the duties of the branch manager is to fill all walk-in orders.)

Customer: “What are your prices?”

Me: *indicating clearly-marked price board* “The prices are [amount] and [volume discount price].”

Customer: “Well, I always pay [lower price]. I buy from the other branch all the time and they give me a discount!”

Me: “You mean the facility in [City]?”

Customer: “Yes, I purchase from them all the time! You should give me the same price.”

Me: “That’s odd; I don’t recall ever seeing you before.”

Customer: “Why would you have seen me before?!”

Me: “I am the manager of the branch in [City], and I handle all accounts for that location.”

Customer: “Um, I’ll just take [product] at regular price.”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day, sir.”

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