I am the youngest guy in the department by at least twenty years. Because of that, I “get” to train up the new employees coming in; I have a lot more patience.

We have two new guys start. They seem to know each other. Both are around twenty, both think they know it all already, and both don’t seem to want to listen.

I’m teaching them how to check the parts, and one turns to me.

New Guy #1: “Look, I think we can figure this out by ourselves.”

Me: “I’m sure you can, but if you don’t quite get it right and the next guy doesn’t pick up your mistake, it will travel all around the line and be worked on for five hours before reaching the end of the line and being thrown away.”

New Guy #1: “Come on, it’s obvious. Look, do it like this, yeah?”

Me: “Yes, good. But do it like that every time. And not so quickly.”

New Guy #2: “I’ll be next in line, so I will be checking it, anyway, yeah?”

Me: “Yes, so you need to understand what he is doing just as much as he does.”

New Guy #1: “Look, we get it, okay?”

I mark them as trained and get them to sign as such. The old department manager checks up on them and notes that they are working well — really well, in fact. They are faster than most of the other guys already. This seems a little suspicious, so I check up on them.

Surprise, surprise, they are quick only because they have ignored everything I told them to do.

Me: “What the h***? Why aren’t you checking the parts?”

New Guy #2: “Chill out. There hasn’t been an issue all week.”

Me: “So? You’re paid to make and check the parts. It’s your job!”

New Guy #1: “Well, [Department Manager] seems to be fine with us. What is your job, anyway?”

New Guy #2: “Yeah, piss off. We don’t need you telling us what to do.”

Fine, you want to be that way? I grab the department manager and head back to the line. The new guys seem unfazed by us.

New Guy #1: “Hey, boss, everything okay?”

New Guy #2: “We were just double-checking these parts.”

Department Manager: “[My Name] says you haven’t been doing your job properly.”

New Guy #1: “Don’t listen to him; he doesn’t know what he is talking about.”

New Guy #2: “Yeah, you said it yourself: we are some of the best workers here. What does he know?”

Department Manager: “He wrote the majority of the processes for this line and I trust his judgment completely. Consider yourself on your last warning.”

[New Guy #1] got fired the very next week — something about missing items and him being the prime suspect. [New Guy #2] lasted a little longer, but he clearly couldn’t do anything properly or to a process, so he was told to quit or be fired a few weeks later.

Looks like I “get” to train up two new guys. Lucky me!

In my first week as a manager, I get a complaint about one of the contractors working for me. Apparently, he smells like he hasn’t washed in weeks. Other comments have been made about his lack of handwashing and overuse of deodorant spray.

I think long and hard about how to approach it. It’s not an easy subject; I don’t know what cultural or personal issues I might be stepping on. Eventually, I decide on an honest but fair approach. I get him in first thing Monday morning and check that he is okay and understands why I asked him here.

Me: “The bottom line is that you need to wash daily and apply some sort of antiperspirant or deodorant that works for you and everyone around you.”

Worker: “I do!”

Me: “Honestly, you’ve been here for thirty minutes and I can smell that’s not the case. I need you to make this change or we are going to have to lose you.”

He folds his arms in defiance.

Me: “Listen, we can deal with it here or we will have to escalate it. But it needs to be dealt with now.”

Worker: “Are we finished?”

Me: “Yes, you can go.”

I was being kind when I said I could tell he hadn’t washed. My office stank of body odor and I could see his clothes were dirty from the week before. Being a contractor, he was getting paid more than I was. We even have showers on-site! I decide to call the agency we use to manage him. I explained why we spoke and that I expected them to follow up and have the matter sorted within the week.

A week later, I got the same complaints. I invited him to a meeting with me and a representative from the agency. He didn’t show up that day. I rescheduled and he called off sick.

We fired him on the spot; being agency work, there is no notice period and no pay other than the hours he worked.

He claimed unfair dismissal (doesn’t exist for contractors), claimed I made things up (everything was documented), and claimed racial discrimination (no evidence was given, as there wasn’t any).

He then tried to apply directly for his old position. Of course, that didn’t work. His last act of defiance was to write me a list of accusations and vague threats. After he showed it to his agency, they fired him, too.

Sporadically when I would collect data from one of the machines at work, it just wouldn’t be there. It was weird; even the manufacturer came out and said it was all working fine.

Annoyingly, this meant that, instead of spending an hour a month downloading the data, I had to do it daily. It did, however, narrow down when it was happening.

It turns out that the power supply was fed through the wall from the break room. Despite having a fridge in the way and big signs on the wall and the plug itself saying, “Do not unplug,” someone was unplugging it whenever they pleased. It was an old building and there was no place to run a permanent connection.

Memos went out, the manager warned the staff, and some went on the night shift to catch the person. But it just kept happening as soon as they went back on the day shift. Even when they promised no disciplinary action would be taken, still no one came forward and no one would say who it was.

Our customer could (and sometimes did) ask for some data at any time; it was an issue waiting to happen.

It was only by chance that I went to the machine and found it off one day. I rushed to the break room and found a baby pink, bedazzled phone charger still sticking out of the wall. We finally knew who it was. There was only one woman on the whole night shift, and she confessed when presented with her charger.

Her excuse? She saw the signs, but no one came to her personally and told her not to, so it couldn’t have been bad enough to stop.

The guys on the night shift were sweet on her, so they just let her do whatever she wanted and would never dream of reporting her.

To use the pool car, you sign it out and make a note of where you’re going, the miles completed, and the fuel used. It’s an insurance thing and it stops fuel from running out unexpectedly if there is an emergency.

Manager: “Whoever used the car last, it’s in a state. Make sure that you don’t leave it in a mess and that you fill out the folder.”

I’m pretty sure [Coworker] used it last, which makes sense as he leaves everything else in a mess.

Me: “Yeah, I hate having to tidy up after others. People should at least try to keep things tidy.”

Coworker: “Why? Why bother? It’s just a car. Not like it’s your own.”

I’ve seen [Coworker]’s car; it’s disgusting.

Me: “I see customers in that thing. I can’t turn up in a rubbish heap! I drove it the other day and my clothes were filthy.”

Coworker: “Well, if you need it clean, then clean it.”

Typical [Coworker]; he doesn’t care who he screws over. Before I can say anything else, the manager comes back in.

Manager: “Whoever took the car last, you left several items in it. Please come to see me if you want them back.”

[Coworker] checks his pockets.

Coworker: “Fine! It was me.”

Manager: “[Coworker]? We told you that you were not to drive the car after you had your licence revoked.”

Coworker: “It doesn’t count; I’m driving on the company’s insurance.”

Manager: “Yes. Yes, it does.” *Sighs* “Just… just step into my office.”

Turns out [Coworker] was driving without a licence and therefore wasn’t covered by insurance. He also took the company car for personal use, something strictly against the rules. He still works there but got a major disciplinary.

The company had a big BBQ picnic a few months back. Everyone bought in their own folding chairs so we could all sit in the car park together. I managed to leave two behind and forgot about them for a couple of weeks. By then, someone had taken them to the smoking shelter and they were already disgusting.

I was going to chalk it up to my own stupidity and leave them, but a while later, I bought a pressure washer and figured I may as well give cleaning them up a go.

I picked up the chairs and went to put them in my car

Coworker: “Hey! Where are you going with them?”

Me: “Oh, they’re mine from home. I left them here a while back, but I need them.”

Coworker: “But that’s my smoking chair.”

Me: “No, that’s my chair from home. Look, it even has my name on.”

It also looked nothing like any other chair in the company.

Coworker: “But that’s been in the smoking hut for months. I need that!”

He grabbed the chair.

Me: “I’m not going to ask nicely. You know it’s not yours; you can see my name is on it. Let go!”

He pulled as I did, only to slip, fall backward, and land in an oil patch from one of the trucks. I told him to stop being so childish, and if he didn’t pack it in, I’d put a complaint in. He put one in against me, anyway, which I immediately refuted, being as he was on camera the whole time.

More than that, now he had complained about seating, the company looked at the shelter and found the makeshift shanty town it had been turned into. It had cardboard flooring and tarp curtains, and someone had actually damaged the metal siding of the building so they could plug their phone in while standing outside.

The whole shelter was ripped out and replaced with a safe and legal one, making the chair thief very unpopular.