Spelling Can Be Tufff

| Working | May 15, 2012

(My boss and CEO of her company is trying to type up an invoice for a client.)

Boss: “How many ‘f’s’ are in ‘tough’? I’ve tried one and two, but it still says I’m wrong!”

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Some Things Can Weight To Be Said

| Working | May 8, 2012

(I work at a large factory and am spread across all three shifts. Sometimes, I don’t make it to certain areas for weeks. I’m also a newlywed of one year, and am the same size as when I got married. One day. I run into an older female employee.)

Employee: “Wow! Haven’t seen you in a while!”

Me: “Yes, sorry. It’s been crazy around here.”

Employee: “So, I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, what is it?”

Employee: “Are you expecting?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m not.”

Employee: “Oh! Well, marriage looks good on you then.”

Me: “Um, thanks?”

Employee: “Don’t worry, dear. I gained 40 pounds after I got married!”

Me: *speechless*

Employee: “There’s no shame in letting yourself go a little.” *winks*

Me: *speechless*

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Decoration: Unknown

, , , | Right | April 27, 2010

(I’m contacting a customer because they’ve neglected to write down the postal code for their delivery address.)

Me: “Hello, this is [warehouse]. I was wondering if you could provide me with the postal code so that I can get this order delivered to you.”

Customer: *sighs* “You really need that?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer:  “Oh. I thought it was just a decoration.”

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As Long As It Runs On Unleaded

, , , | Right | April 21, 2008

(At a “compound” for a “New Age” cult, we needed to replace the pump in their well. In order to get our truck close enough to the well we had to have them move one of their vehicles.)

Me: “Excuse me, I’m going to need you to move that suburban over there.”

Lady: “Okay, no problem.”

(She goes outside and yells at one of her people working on the yard.)

Lady: “Jebediah, could you please get the keys and move the Starship?”

Jebediah: “Sure thing!”

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