Clearing Of Throat Is Now A Language

, , , | Right | November 21, 2018

(I work at a large retail fabric and craft store. I am working register today. All available employees are at registers, except for two girls who are working at the cutting counter with their own long line. An older lady in line has been loudly clearing her throat and moaning the whole time she’s been in line. I’ve offered to let her sit until it’s her turn, thinking that she may be hurting. She turns her nose up at me and doesn’t say anything. She continues making noises the whole time. It just so happens she gets routed to my register.)

Me: “Hello! Did you find everything you needed today?”

Customer: “I did, no thanks to any of you.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. We usually have people on the floor, but with how busy it is they’re not always out. You can always ask at customer service, and they can try to direct you, just for future reference.”

Customer: *huffs* “Yes. I can tell you’re all working so hard.”

(It’s obvious she’s being sarcastic, but I say:)

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “And another thing! Why didn’t you call anyone else up to help at registers? You usually do that. I was trying to tell you that.”

(Apparently, that was what her noises meant.)

Me: “I’m sorry. We actually have everyone available at registers right now.”

Customer: “No, you don’t!”

Me: “We only have six workers today, and it has been unusually busy. I’m sorry for your wait.”

(She huffs again and rolls her eyes.)

Customer: “You’re obviously new, so I’ll explain. Go on your radio and call those two—” *points to the cutting counter* “—to come over here on register.”

Me: “Oh. They can’t actually come over, as they have their own line to worry about. We need them at cutting counter.”

(The customer just huffs again loudly and shakes her head. I finish ringing her out and she’s about to go on her way. Then she turns to the employee on the other register, who’s been here a long while.)

Customer: “Honestly! These young people have no sense these days. Tell your manager this one needs more training!”

(The other employee did end up reporting me without asking what happened. I explained to my manager, but she said I still should have told her about the complaint. I had to rewatch all the training videos, despite the fact that everyone said I did nothing wrong.)

Tighten Your Purse Strings

, , , , , | Legal | October 28, 2018

(I am in my junior year of college. My friend and I go to a local fabric and craft store to get some supplies for a sewing project we have in our fashion courses. It’s around the holidays, so it’s extra busy. While we are waiting in line to have some fabric cut, we start to hear a woman screaming across the store.)


Me: *to friend* “Geez, someone is being demanding. Doesn’t she realize it’s busy—”

(We then hear a large crash and look behind us. [Woman #1] has another woman by the shirt collar and is smashing her into a display of greeting cards.)

Woman #1: “Help! She’s trying to steal my purse!”

Friend: “Holy s***!”

Woman #2: “No, I’m not! You’re lying! I didn’t do anything! Let me go!”

(The manager comes running to find out what is going on. Turns out [Woman #1] had her purse in the front part of her cart and while her back was turned [Woman #2] tried to grab it and run away. That’s when [Woman #1] tackled her into the card display.)

Manager: “Okay, I’ve called the police; they’ll be here to sort this out.”

Woman #2: “No! NOOOOO! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” *sobbing* “I’ve never done this before! I’m sorry! Please don’t call the cops! Let me gooooooo!”

(My friend and I collected our fabric and checked out… clutching our purses tightly to our bodies.)

Might Be The Most Untrustworthy People In The History Of Retail

, , , , | Right | October 17, 2018

Customer #1: “What is cotton made out of?”

Customer #2: “Oh, you know, the stuff that slaves pick.”

Customer #1: “I’ve got another question for you. I want to bring this roll of twenty-five yards of fabric home, cut it into curtains, hang it up, and if I like them, I’ll come back and pay for it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t allow product to leave the store without it being purchased.”

Customer #2: “What’s wrong with you?! You can trust her! You must live a pathetic life not being able to trust people!”

Someone Else’s Gift That Keeps On Giving

, , , | Right | October 13, 2018

(An older lady comes into the fabric store where I work. She gets some fabric and several other notions and comes to the register to check out. I ring her up and give her the total amount due. She hands me a gift card and I look at it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t take this. It is for [Chain Grocery Store].”

Customer: “But my son said it was good anywhere.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is good anywhere at one of their stores. But this is [Fabric Store]. We can’t take it.”

Customer: “But you take gift cards, don’t you?”

Me: “Yes, but we take our own gift cards, not other stores’ gift cards.”

Customer: “But I know I’ve used gift cards here before.”

Me: “It would have been one of ours, then.”

Customer: “Then why can’t you take this one?”

Me: “Because that is a card from [Chain Grocery Store] for groceries, not one of ours for fabric.”

(This went on like this for several minutes before she pulled out a credit card and paid. She left saying she was going to get her son to come in and see why I wouldn’t take her gift card and he would straighten me out good. Not surprisingly, he never came in to straighten me out.)

Getting Her Panties In A Twist

, , , | Right | September 21, 2018

(I have quite a few people from other countries come into my store. It is pretty common for us to attempt to communicate with charades. I am working the service desk, and a woman comes up to me.)

Customer: “I need strippas.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “STRIPPAS! I need strippas for my panties!”

(I am staring at her as though she is insane.)

Me: “I don’t believe we sell strippers here…”

(She then takes a bag and demonstrates what panties are by holding it against herself.)

Customer: “Strippas for elastic. My elastic no good. Need strippas.”

(I figured she was talking about elastic coming out of her panties. So, I pointed her toward the fabric counter. A few minutes later she ran out of the store, screaming, “TOO MUCH!”)