Let Me Cut You Off Right There

, , , | Right | April 28, 2019

(This exchange happens at least once every time I am working at the fabric counter.)

Me: “Hi. Are you ready to have your fabric cut?”

Customer: “Yes! I’m ready!”

Me: “Great! How much would you like?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. Let me think about it for a minute.”

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Prices That Break The Fabric Of Reality

, , , , | Working | March 21, 2019

(I’ve sewn a lot of my own things most of my life, but find that many people do not think that homemade items have any value. I’ve made the mistake of using a bag I’ve just made when I go to work one day.)

Coworker #1: “Oh, my God! I love your bag; where did you get it from?”

Me: “I made it myself.”

Coworker #1: “You have to make one for me, too.”

Coworker #2: “Me, too! I want one, too. Can you bring them in next week?”

Me: “No, I’ve got another to finish first for my mother’s birthday and won’t have time to make any more just yet.”

(They keep hounding me every time I see them, insisting that I make an identical bag for each. I keep trying to tell them I can’t do it for a while. Then, one day, I am about to leave work and while I’m getting my bag from my locker, one of them comes into the staff room.)

Coworker #1: “Oh, [My Name], you don’t need to worry about the bag now. We just saw one that a customer made and she said she could make us one each.”

(A few moments later [Coworker #2] comes into the room.)

Coworker #2: “Did you know that [Customer] wants us to pay $20 each for the bags?”

Coworker #1: “What? $20 for a homemade bag? Who is she kidding? Just go and tell her we don’t want them.”

Me: “Uh, how much did you expect to pay me?”

Coworker #1: “Why? What would you charge?”

Me: “I hadn’t worked it out yet but—“ *pointing to the main fabric* “—this fabric cost me $22 a metre.”

Coworker #2: “What? We thought you could do it for $10.”

(We worked in a fabric store; they knew how much fabrics cost and that bags like that take a few hours to make.)

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There Are No Holes In Your Reasons

, , , , , | Right | March 9, 2019

(It’s right at closing when a woman brings a pile of curtain fabrics from our discounted table; these are all marked as seconds. As my coworker is measuring they come across some holes in the fabric.)

Customer: “I don’t want those holes; cut that off and start measuring again.”

(Again, they come across some more holes. She makes him cut the fabric again and start a new measurement. There’s not enough for what she wants, so she makes the coworker go with her to bring back more fabrics. I have finally finished serving my last customer when I hear her telling the coworker that she wants her whole house done and wants all the curtains cut to size so he needs to call other stores for her. My coworker turns to me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s after closing and all of our stores are now closed. We cannot call them now because they won’t answer.”

Customer: “Well, then, we’ll just see what’s here; he can go and look for what I want. I just need to call and find out the window sizes for the house, but the phone’s been busy.”

Me: “You don’t know the window sizes?”

Customer: “No, I’ll just wait until I find out.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to return tomorrow; it’s now too late to do this.”

Customer: “No, I’ll wait.”

Me: “No, you don’t understand. You are parked in the main car park, right?”

Customer: “Yes, so?”

Me: “The centre will completely shut down in a few minutes; the lights will be turned out and the alarm turned on which means you cannot get to the main car park safely. I’ll have to let you out our back door into the dock, and you’ll have to go down the stairs outside and around the whole building to get to the main car park. I don’t want you to have to do that; it’s dark out there and can be dangerous.”

(I don’t think she believes me, but I finally get her to agree to come back the next day, which she never does. I have just managed to pull the doors down and lock three of the doors from the outside before pulling down the final door when the lights in the mall go out. I padlock the final door from the inside.)

Coworker: “Wow, you cut that fine. I thought the alarm was going to beat you.”

(My coworker helps me quickly count the drawers before we finally leave, an hour later than we get paid for. As we drive out of the dock area we notice that there are a bunch of rough-looking men in the dark car park, hanging around the stairs leading from the dock.)

Coworker: “Oh, my God! That woman was lucky not to have to walk through them. I bet she thought you were lying to her just get rid of her.”

Me: “Yeah, I know, but $2-a-metre fabric is not worth putting anyone in danger for.”

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Going Hell For Pleather On These Sales

, , , | Right | February 28, 2019

(I work in a fabric store. I get a phone call from a customer looking for pleather. He asks for white, but upon finding out we don’t have that, he asks what other colours we have. We have every colour but red. Later on, a man arrives in the store asking for pleather. He chooses the black one.)

Me: “Did you happen to ring a little while ago asking for this?”

Customer #2: “No, it wasn’t me.”

Me: “Okay. It’s funny; I don’t often get asked for it, but I got asked twice in the last half hour. It often goes like that.”

Customer #2: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah, but it’s always in threes; there will be a third sometime today.”

Customer #2: *laughs* “Good luck with that.”  

(It’s the end of the day and I have shut the doors when a customer knocks on the door. We’ve closed an hour and a half earlier than usual due to it being a public holiday. I go to the door to explain to the customer why we are closed early. He is there with his young son.)

Customer #3: “Oh, no, we really need to get something. Can’t you help us?”

Me: “We are closed but I will try. What is it you are after?”

Customer #3: “I need pleather; do you have it in red?”

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Tearing Into Them

, , , | Right | February 27, 2019

(I work in a fabric store and often come across customers who move the fabric as I go to make a cut. I measure out the fabric, holding my fingers next to the spot I am about cut, pick the scissors up, and try to make the first cut, when the customer pulls the fabric. I try again. This time she pulls the fabric out of my grip, but not before pulling my fingers into the cutting area of the scissors. Again, I stop and have to re-measure before trying again.)

Me: *as the customer pulls the fabric again* “Will you stop pulling the fabric?”

Customer: “But you are cutting it crooked.”

Me: “I haven’t even started cutting yet, and good thing, too, because this is the second time you’ve pulled my fingers into the blades of the scissors. Just leave the fabric alone.”

Customer: “Oh… I was only trying to help; you have the fabric crooked.”

Me: “Just let me do it; I know what I’m doing.”

(With that, I finally get to make that first cut, and then with my hands, I tear the fabric right across.)

Customer: “You are tearing it; it won’t be straight.”

Me: *holding the fabric up* “It always tears straight.”

Customer: “Wow. That’s impressive.”

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