You Can’t Safely Pin Down This Kind Of Crazy

, , , | Right | April 6, 2018

(A customer comes in with fabric she has already purchased from us. She has taken it home and marked the measurements for her pattern on the fabric with safety pins. She asks me to cut out her pattern for her, something I cannot do for several reasons, the simplest being it isn’t a service our store offers. After explaining the multiple reasons why, this happens:)

Customer: “I need you to cut my fabric because it’s 58″ wide and I don’t have 58″ scissors at home.”

Me: *looking at her with the most dumbfounded expression on my face* “I don’t have 58″ scissors either. I use these.” *holding up a pair of normal, nine-inch dressmaker shears*

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to use?”

(I gesture to the six feet of wall space devoted to sewing scissors in all of their glory.)

Customer: “I just spent over $100 on fabric and you’re going to make me buy scissors?!”

(She then decides that, since I won’t cut her pattern for her, she is going to return the fabric.)

Customer: “I will buy my fabric at [Craft Store that doesn’t sell fabric] where they do this for me all the time.”

(While I’m remeasuring the fabric for the return, the customer then starts grabbing the safety pins she’s used to mark her cuts.)

Customer: “These are mine! You can’t keep them!”

(And this is why we are always hiring. No one puts up with this much crazy for long.)

Never Free From The Three

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2018

(A customer wants to buy a couple of pieces of fabric she’s found in our remnant bin. Remnants are supposed to half the price, but seeing as there’s a half-price sale on, I give her a further discount.)

Me: “You can have that piece for $3.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “$3.”

Customer: *questioning* “$3?”

Me: “Yes, $3.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “Three. Dollars.”

Customer: “That fabric’s usually $6.”

Me: “No, it’s $12.99 usually.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “Full price is $12.99.”

Customer: “No, how much do I get it for?”

Me: “$3, which is less than you should be paying for this length.”

Customer: “$3?”

Me: “Yes, $3.”

Customer: “How much was it?”

Next Customer: “$12.99; she’s already told you.”

Customer: “Oh… So, how much for that piece?”

(She hands me another fabric that is over-sized to be a remnant. I haven’t seen this fabric before; it’s a new one.)

Me: *after looking at the fabric* “This is soiled; you can have it for $3, as well.”

Customer: “Soiled?”

Me: “It’s got dirty marks on it.”

(She then stands for a couple of minutes, looking at the mark over and over.)

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take it. How much?”

Me: “$3; $6 for both”

Customer: “$6?”

Me: “YES, SIX!”

(She finally paid. She does this every time, trying to get extra discounts.)

Sew It Seams

, , , , | Right | March 5, 2018

(I have had some variation of this conversation more times than I ever would have expected.)

Customer: “Hey, I have this project I’m making, but I don’t want to sew it.”

Me: “No problem! We have some fabric glues I can show you.”

Customer: “Actually, I thought I’d just use Velcro.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you need the seam to open?”

Customer: “No, I just want it to stay together.”

Me: “And… how are you planning to attach the Velcro to the fabric?”

Customer: “Um…”

Me: “You would have to either sew it or use fabric glue. And if you don’t need it to open, you might as well save yourself the step.”

Customer: *pause* “Where is the fabric glue, again?”

(I guess Velcro isn’t as intuitive as I thought!)

Should Have Checked

, , , , , | Right | December 6, 2017

(It was just announced that our store is closing. Since we are in liquidation, there are signs posted on the doors and at the registers that we do not take checks, nor any coupons. I am ringing out a customer who hands me a coupon.)

Me: “I’m sorry. We no longer accept coupons at this location due to our liquidation.” *seeing that she is starting to write out a check* “And we no longer take checks, either.”

Customer: “What! Since when?! I always write checks here.”

Me: *pointing at the sign at the register right where she’s standing* “Right here. It’s also on the door as you come in.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I always write checks here! I don’t have another way to pay. I am never coming back here again!”

Me: “Okay.”

Sew Cheap!

, , , , , , | Working | October 19, 2017

(I am a shift leader at a craft and fabric store. Towards the end of my shift, the assistant store manager arrives to take over for the rest of the day, and joins me at the registers. I am cashing out a customer and making small talk before I give the ASM my report for the shift.)

Customer: “I was so surprised to see these [Sewing Machine]s on display! None of your other stores have anything like them.”

Me: “Well, we are a pretty large chain, so different locations will often have very different merchandise. Do you have your membership card with you today?”

(I scan through all of the customer’s fabric and notions before I scan the sewing machine sitting in her cart. My ASM has been watching my screen the whole time, looking worried, and as soon as I scan the sewing machine, she swears under her breath and bolts for the back of the store like someone lit her hair on fire.)

Customer: *confused and slightly offended* “Well, that was rude.”

Me: *equally confused, since the ASM is usually extremely cool-headed* “Yeah, I’m not sure what that was.”

(I turn to look at the screen and realize the problem: the sewing machine rang up at $0.01.)

Me: “Well, lucky you. That machine is only ringing up at a penny. Your total is [amount less than $20].”

Customer: “What?! Can I go buy the rest of the display?”

Me: “I’m afraid not; I think that’s why my manager just ran off like that. But since this one is already through the system, you’re welcome to take it.”

Customer: *no longer offended, and actually quite cheerful, she pays and takes her receipt* “Any wonder. Well, have a nice day!”

(Since there were no other customers to cash out, I hurried to the back to help my ASM pull the sewing machines off the floor. There were over a dozen of that model. It turns out that our general manager hadn’t read an email memo earlier in the week, which said to remove that line of sewing machines from display, as they had been discontinued and were slated to be returned to the manufacturer. They were meant to go out with the shipment truck’s return trip the day this occurred, but no one had informed me. Somehow, the GM saw the email title with the model number, and thought it was a memo to put them on display. They’d been sitting on the floor all week as a result. When the system deleted the merchandise from our database earlier in the day, it converted the price of the machines to one penny. Fortunately, after checking with other staff, we’d only sold two of the machines since the price change. The first time, either the cashier and customer hadn’t noticed the discrepancy, or hadn’t cared to report it to me.)

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