You Are Sew Lying

| Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

(I’m 19, but I look at lot younger than what I am so people often mistake me for being school-aged when I work on the weekend. On this particular Saturday I’m working at the counter with my middle-aged coworker. I see a couple deliberately letting people past them in the line, clearly making sure I’m the one that serves them.)

Me: “Hello! How can I help you today?”

Man: “I want to return my wife’s sewing machine.”

(He places an open sewing machine box on the counter.)

Me: “Ok, sir; was there a problem with it?”

Man: “No—”

Woman: “Yes—”

(The man glares at his wife before continuing.)

Man: “No, we just changed our mind.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we only do change-of-mind refunds for sewing machines that haven’t been opened.”

Man: “But it was open when we bought it!”

(I’d been working at this store for a while and knew all the policies; there was no fooling me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s not possible. All sewing machines are sealed with security tape when they are purchased to prevent theft. You wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the store with an open box like that. I’m afraid I cannot refund you.”

(The man grumbles, and the woman decides to chime in.)

Woman: “I did open it! I tried to use the machine but it was broken! I want a refund!”

(Despite the fact that they just changed their story, I decide to follow company policy and treat the machine as if it was indeed ‘faulty.’ We are encouraged to test all machines that customers claim are broken, mostly because the majority of the time the customers aren’t using it correctly, or there’s a really small problem that we can fix ourselves without having to send it away under warranty.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll just have to test the machine to see if I can fix the problem myself. Most of the time we don’t have to send it back to the manufacturer.”

(I remove the machine from the packaging and set it up. I’ve been sewing for years so I know exactly what I’m doing, and I can see the woman getting increasingly panicked as I thread up the machine and find some fabric to test it with. I try all of the functions and they work perfectly.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, it seems your machine is fine after all. Are you sure you set it up correctly?”

Woman: “Yes, I did exactly what you did, but it didn’t work! I want a refund!”

(Even though I’m allowed to turn them away, I can see the machine is still brand new so I go and talk to my manager about giving a refund. She says not to give them any money back, instead they can exchange it for a more expensive machine and pay the difference. The couple don’t take this news so well.)

Man: “Bull-s***! You have to refund us! It’s the law!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but Australian consumer law requires we refund you only if the product is faulty, wrongly described or doesn’t do what it’s supposed to. We have established that the sewing machine sews perfectly and looks exactly the same as the photo on the box, so I do not have to offer you a refund or exchange at all. I am, however, willing to let you exchange it for another machine of equal or higher value.”

(All of a sudden the couple turns to look each other and starts arguing in a foreign language. They eventually turn back to me.)

Man: “So, which machines can we exchange it for?”

Me: “Well, it depends how much you paid for your original one. May I see your receipt?”

Man: “We don’t have one. Only a credit card statement.”

(I had to go back to my manager and ask if I could still do the transaction without a receipt. It is a good five minutes before I get back to the counter.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the bank statement should be fine, but we’ll need extra time to find the receipt in our system.”

Man: “Actually, we’ve decided to keep our original machine.”

(Before I could stop him, he took the machine off the counter and walked off. I had to run to the front of the store and explain to my coworker at the door that someone was about to leave the store with an open sewing machine box and no receipt. The customers waiting in line were not impressed.)

Eventually Had A Bulb Moment

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Money

(One quiet afternoon a friendly looking lady approaches the counter:)

Customer: “Good afternoon, I’m looking for a new bulb for my sewing machine.”

Me: “Sure, we sell a few different bulbs here. What model is your machine?”

(She states the model, which has been discontinued for several years.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am, but as that is an older machine we don’t stock parts for it.”

(My coworker overhears the conversation and chimes in.)

Coworker: “I was at [Other Location] the other day. I know they have them.”

(Our other store is a lot bigger and around 30 minutes away. The customer’s face suddenly turns dark.)

Customer: “I WOULDN’T DRIVE TO [OTHER LOCATION] WITH A GUN TO MY HEAD.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am—”

Customer: “YOU GUYS SELL POTS AND PANS AND BALLOONS AND OTHER CRAFT S*** BUT YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE THINGS TO DO BASIC SEWING.”

Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, we are as much a craft, party, and home decorating store as we are a fabric and sewing store. Now if you like I can call [Other Location] and have them send the bulb here, but it may take several weeks.”

Customer: “BULLS***. I’m going to [Competitor] and getting the bulb off them! See if I ever come back to your store again!”

(She dumps her basket on the counter and stomps off.)

Next Customer In Line: “She’d really rather get shot than drive 30 minutes up the road?”

The Mark Of A Bad Customer

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(A customer comes to my counter with a roll of fabric.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like two metres, please. But there’s a mark on the fabric.”

Me: “Not a problem. Just show me where the mark is and I can sort something out for you.”

(She shows me a really tiny pinhead-sized section of the fabric that is slightly lighter than the rest. You’d practically need a magnifying glass to even notice it.)

Me: “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. It will come right out in the wash.”

Customer: *horrified* “I’m not washing it!”

Me: “It’s a cotton fabric, ma’am. I highly recommend you pre-wash it. It will shrink a little bit the first time; if you sew it first the seams will pucker.”

Customer: “I am not having that bit with the mark!”

(It’s a cheap fabric, so I decide not to argue with her.)

Me: “Okay, well, I can give you a discount—”

Customer: “CUT THAT BIT WITH THE MARK OFF!”

(I had to cut off over a metre of fabric off just to avoid ‘the mark’, which we then had to put in our half-price box. Normally I’d let the customer keep the extra bit of fabric, but there was no way I was wasting it on her.)

Understood The Concept Swimmingly

| MI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(We are at the fabric store waiting to have yardage cut. There are two people working the cutting counter, one is a trans-female. My seven-year-old son is with me.)

Son: “Mom! That lady is a MAN!”

Me: *dying inside* “Oh, my gosh; I am so sorry, ma’am. He… I… I am just so sorry!”

Employee: *to my son* “It’s okay, buddy. I was born a boy, but now I am a girl.”

Son: “You can do that?! Mom! I’m gonna be a shark!”

(Thank you so much, fabric store lady, for not being too offended!)

Multitasking Is Tasking You

| Evansville, IN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A customer has called in to order; I am just finishing up the details of her purchase.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, that’s [list of her items], and the total comes to [price]. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Well.. could you hang on a minute? I’m ordering lunch.”

Me: “…What?”

Customer: “I’m in the drive through at [Restaurant]! Just wait a minute.”

(She proceeds to order enough food for at least six people, and I can overhear other people in the car with her. This takes several minutes.)

Customer: “I’m ready to check out now. Thanks for waiting!”

Me: “Yeah, no problem…”

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