(I have just started my afternoon shift when a customer has approached me to ask a couple of questions before she decides to buy some fabric. I have finished ringing up the sale and the customer has left when my manager approaches me.)

Manager: “I saw you with that woman. She’s been in the store for over an hour. Wasted my time asking stupid questions.”

Me: “She asked me prices of the fabrics she had. I was with her for maybe five minutes.”

Manager: “So? She’s a time waster. She comes in, and wastes our time by asking questions. I don’t want to see you talking to her again.”

Me: “Sorry, I didn’t know she was just a time waster. I wouldn’t have sold her over $200 worth of fabric if I’d known.”

(My manager glared at me and stomped off.)

(A customer has called in to order; I am just finishing up the details of her purchase.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, that’s [list of her items], and the total comes to [price]. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Well.. could you hang on a minute? I’m ordering lunch.”

Me: “…What?”

Customer: “I’m in the drive through at [Restaurant]! Just wait a minute.”

(She proceeds to order enough food for at least six people, and I can overhear other people in the car with her. This takes several minutes.)

Customer: “I’m ready to check out now. Thanks for waiting!”

Me: “Yeah, no problem…”

(I get the following phone call:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: *long pause* “Uh, do you sell fabric?”

Me: *wondering to myself what caller thought the fabric in the store’s name meant* “We certainly do.”

Caller: “Well, how much is it?”

Me: “It depends on the fabric. We have some as low as $1 a yard all the way up to $45-$50 a yard.”

Caller: “Oh, I can’t afford that much.” *click*

(Wish I could tell you that was an unusual call, but I get it several times a month. Maybe we are supposed to just give away the fabric from the fabric store that doesn’t stock fabric.)

(As the store is quite busy on a Saturday night and there is only one cashier scheduled, I’ve taken over the customer service desk which has two registers. I am calling customers to both sides so I can help two people at once. I’ve just called the next two customers down, two of whom I have to ask to take a longer route to the secondary register on my right.)

Customer #1: *at the left side of the desk* “Why are you letting people check out over there? Won’t everyone skip the line and go to the other side for a shorter line?”

Me: “Ma’am, I called them from the long line. That’s the only line I’m calling from. They were kind enough to go around to the other side of the desk so I can help both of you at once. Since there’s such a long line tonight I’m doing what I can to keep the line moving.”

Customer #1: “That doesn’t seem right.”

Me: “I’m sorry about the inconvenience, but thank you for hanging in there with me while I try to get everyone taken care of. Your total is [total]. If you’ll please swipe your card at the pin-pad I’ll get these people started on the other register.”

Customer #2: *on the right side of the desk* “Since you’re doing the work of two people do you get paid twice as much?”

(I’m in the office, talking to the boss about a sick cat I’ve recently adopted.)

Me: “…so my roommate and I have spent a lot of time at the vet lately. But it’s worth it to have someone to come home to.”

Boss: “Yeah… I had a fish. He was a good companion. He’s been sick lately. I think he’s dead.”

Me: *general understanding noise*

Boss: “But at least I can have sushi tonight. Now he’ll satisfy me even more.”

Me: “…”

Boss: “That wasn’t right, was it?”