(I am a shift leader at a craft and fabric store. Towards the end of my shift, the assistant store manager arrives to take over for the rest of the day, and joins me at the registers. I am cashing out a customer and making small talk before I give the ASM my report for the shift.)

Customer: “I was so surprised to see these [Sewing Machine]s on display! None of your other stores have anything like them.”

Me: “Well, we are a pretty large chain, so different locations will often have very different merchandise. Do you have your membership card with you today?”

(I scan through all of the customer’s fabric and notions before I scan the sewing machine sitting in her cart. My ASM has been watching my screen the whole time, looking worried, and as soon as I scan the sewing machine, she swears under her breath and bolts for the back of the store like someone lit her hair on fire.)

Customer: *confused and slightly offended* “Well, that was rude.”

Me: *equally confused, since the ASM is usually extremely cool-headed* “Yeah, I’m not sure what that was.”

(I turn to look at the screen and realize the problem: the sewing machine rang up at $0.01.)

Me: “Well, lucky you. That machine is only ringing up at a penny. Your total is [amount less than $20].”

Customer: “What?! Can I go buy the rest of the display?”

Me: “I’m afraid not; I think that’s why my manager just ran off like that. But since this one is already through the system, you’re welcome to take it.”

Customer: *no longer offended, and actually quite cheerful, she pays and takes her receipt* “Any wonder. Well, have a nice day!”

(Since there were no other customers to cash out, I hurried to the back to help my ASM pull the sewing machines off the floor. There were over a dozen of that model. It turns out that our general manager hadn’t read an email memo earlier in the week, which said to remove that line of sewing machines from display, as they had been discontinued and were slated to be returned to the manufacturer. They were meant to go out with the shipment truck’s return trip the day this occurred, but no one had informed me. Somehow, the GM saw the email title with the model number, and thought it was a memo to put them on display. They’d been sitting on the floor all week as a result. When the system deleted the merchandise from our database earlier in the day, it converted the price of the machines to one penny. Fortunately, after checking with other staff, we’d only sold two of the machines since the price change. The first time, either the cashier and customer hadn’t noticed the discrepancy, or hadn’t cared to report it to me.)

(It is well known at my store that I am a fan of anime, because I often wear hair ribbons or pins related to different series. The manager is as well, but she just displays it with a lanyard of soot sprites. At this time, I’m copying the schedule for the first week of the new year into my phone while she checks out a customer.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], do you like [Animated Movie]?”

Me: “Well, it’s one of the many by [Movie Director] I haven’t seen yet.”

Manager: *knowing smile* “[Nearby Theater] is showing it on the 5th, at 7 pm. Subbed. And it’s just $12.”

Me: “Okay, thanks!”

(It wasn’t until I walked out of the store and checked the schedule I just copied down for that date that I realized she scheduled me to get out of work an hour earlier than the time the movie starts so I could go see it. Best. Manager. Ever.)

(I am on my lunch break, shopping at a fabric store. I am wearing a blue polo, khakis, sneakers, and my ID badge on a lanyard.)

Customer: “Sir! Sir! Over here! Sir!”

(I ignore the other customer, thinking she is calling for an employee. I keep browsing for the fabric marker I am looking for. Then an older gentleman puts his hand on my shoulder and violently turns me around.)

Customer’s Husband: “Hey, she was calling you!”

Me: “Why? I don’t know either one of you.”

Customer’s Husband: “She needs to know where the floral arrangements are!”

Me: “Then find someone who works here, dips**t, and don’t touch me.”

Customer’s Husband: “Oh, yeah? Let’s see that badge, smart-a**.”

(The customer flips my id badge around and sees that it is for a medical software company.)

Customer’s Husband: “Oh.”

Me: “Yeah, ‘oh.’ Why don’t you try someone wearing a red vest that says [Store] on the back? And try not to grab them; I hear you get better service that way.”

(The man apologized and went looking for an employee. I hope he calmed down and found someone to help them!)

(A customer comes into the fabric store where I am working the cash register. She is in an obviously upset state.)

Customer: “Do you carry sign-in registers for guests at funerals?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry those.”

Customer: “Oh, my gosh; I don’t know what I will do. I have tried everywhere and can’t find one.”

Me: “Well, have you tried the Hallmark store next door? They have all kinds of paper goods.”

Customer: “I thought I was at Hallmark’s.”

Me: *looking around at our 5000 bolts of fabrics and shelves of scissors and other sewing related items* “No, ma’am, this is [Store].”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you say so? That’s just rude.”

(It’s about ten minutes to close and there’s only one person left in the store, who has been shopping for a couple of hours. She has a really big stack of fabric that needs to be cut, but I’m a fast worker, so I’m not too worried about it. At least, not at first.)

Customer: “Okay, I’m sorry to be in here so late. I know y’all are trying to close. Um, I think I need about a half yard of this one. No, a quarter yard. No, a half yard.”

(The rest of the cutting process goes on much like this: She apologizes for taking so long while being completely unable to make up her mind, occasionally even grabbing a new bolt from the clearance table next to her, every now and then muttering, “I hope I have enough money for this.” She ends up not leaving the cutting table until twenty minutes past close. My supervisor and I are supposed to be finished cleaning and out of the door at half an hour after close or we get in trouble for going over our hours, so as soon as she leaves the table, I start cleaning, but overhear that the customer did not have enough money for her large amounts of both fabric and notions. She’s standing at the register choosing which fabrics — already cut — to leave behind, and it isn’t easy to find the correct pieces in the register to take off of the rather large transaction. She also won’t stop talking to my supervisor, who isn’t good at multitasking. My supervisor ends up calling me to stand at the register to distract the woman a little so that she can get her out as soon as possible. By that time, it’s a half hour after close.)

Customer: “You really should have scanned the fabric first. I wasn’t sure how much money I had. You should have done the fabric first so I’d know what to take off.”

Supervisor: *clearly irritated but trying to hold it in* “Ma’am, company policy is to scan notions before fabric.”

Customer: “Well, you should do the fabric first. How am I supposed to know how much I’m spending if you don’t do the fabric first?”

(We finally got her out forty five minutes after close and with a large stack of small pieces of fabric we had to remnant out and void the tickets for. Even with very brief cleaning and without counting the registers, my supervisor and I didn’t leave until over an hour after close.)