Conversations Conveyed Conversions

| Wisconsin, USA | Working | May 23, 2012

Me: ” I’d like you to measure off three feet of that material for me.”

Clerk: “I can’t do that.”

Me: “Why?”

Clerk: “We can only sell it by the yard.”

(As the clerk is obviously high school age, I try another approach.)

Me: “Okay, then give me one yard of that material.”

Clerk: *cheerfully* “Okay, I can do that!”

Blind To Reason, Part 3

| Ballwin, MO, USA | Right | January 18, 2011

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. May I help you?”

Caller: *frustrated* “My husband has been in your store for over an hour and no one is helping him! I sent him in to match a red and white fabric!”

Me: “Okay, can you give me his description? I’ll send someone out to look for him.”

(The caller gives me her husband’s description, and another employee tries to find him. Five minutes later, the woman calls back.)

Caller: *angrily* “Hi, I’m the one whose husband isn’t getting any help at your store. He’s trying to match a red and white fabric for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I sent someone out to look. Do you know where he is in the store? That would help us locate him.”

Caller: “He says he’s by the red fabric. By the way, he’s color blind.”

 

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Label Whores

, | | Right | November 10, 2008

Customer: “I saw in your flier that y’all sell Swarovski crystal beads. ¬†Where would I find those?”

Me: “In the beading aisle, ma’am. It’s the third up from the back, and the beads should be at the end nearest the wall.”

Customer: “I already looked there! There aren’t any!”

Me: ¬†”Oh, here they are, right here.”

Customer: “Wait… are you sure?¬†Those don’t say Swarovski on them.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, they do, right here.”

Customer: “Show me the ones that say Swarovski on them!”

Me: “These ones right here, ma’am.”

Customer: ¬†”No, no, no! The ones that SAY ‘Swarovski’ ON THEM!¬†Not on the cardboard!”

Me: Wait… you want them to say Swarovski on the bead itself?”

Customer: “Yes, of course!”

Me: “Ma’am, these beads are tiny. There wouldn’t be room to write ‘Swarovski’ on them even if they wanted to or could. ”

Customer: “Well, then why bother?”

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Childhood Dream, Meet Retail Nightmare

, | | Right | August 23, 2008

(We often get fashion design students in our store to get samples of fabric for school projects.)

Student: “Can I get some swatches? I go to the *** fashion school and need them for a class project.”

Me: “No problem. That’s the school I went to.”

Student: “Oh, cool! What do you do now?”

Me: “… I work here.”

Student: *their dreams crush before my eyes*

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Taking The Young At Heart Thing Too Far

| New York, NY, USA | Romantic | December 23, 2007

(An 80 year old woman and her husband come up to the cutting counter with a bolt of sparkly, orange, see-through fabric.)

80 year-old woman: “Three yards please.”

Me, as I am measuring: “What are you using this for?”

80 year-old woman: “I am taking a belly dancing class, and I am going to make my own outfit.”

(I stare, and the man looks everywhere but his wife.)

Also seen on: Not Always Right.

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