Eliminate The Checking Process

, , | NY, USA | Working | April 9, 2017

Back in the 1970s, I remember reading a catalog from an electronics company. On the last page, next to the order form, they had this note:

“Make ordering easy! Just send us a signed check made out to us. Don’t fill in the amount. Let us add it all up, including shipping, and calculate the total, then we’ll write it on your check for you.”

My thought was, “yeah, it will also eliminate that unsightly balance in my checking account.”

Going Backwards On That Statement

, | Cupertino, CA, USA | Learning | March 18, 2017

I attended a highly-rated automotive vocational program — it has one of the highest placement rates on campus, even at a community college with better numbers than average. There are two tracks, part-time night classes and full-time day classes, and there are generally about three applicants for every spot available in the full-time track with previous educational and/or work experience required for admission. One of the teachers, as many teachers do, would tell students on the first day that they if they had any questions they should ask because ‘There’s no such thing as a stupid question.’

By the time I took his class, he changed to telling people he USED to say that, until someone proved him wrong. On his first day teaching one of the full-time program classes, when he said it a student’s hand shot up, and he called on them. The student asked ‘Why is it when you watch a video of a car driving down the freeway, the car is moving forward but the wheels are turning BACKWARD?’

The teacher is now forced to admit that there is, in fact, such thing as a stupid question.

New Lengths Of Stupidity

, , | MD, USA | Right | November 9, 2016

Email from customer about an item she just purchased: “Your listings says that the item would be 20″ wide, but it didn’t say how wide twenty inches was. It is way bigger than I expected!”

Cooking Up A Resignation Letter

, , , | BC, Canada | Working | November 4, 2016

I work in a new hotel setting up and running the breakfast bar. My boss, the owner/manager, has interesting ideas on how things should be done and will make “suggestions” that she expected me to implement. Some of the time they work fine, but others, not so much.

For example, the time she told me to use a plastic bin in the convection oven because you aren’t supposed to use metal. Yeah, no. I opened the oven to see a river of molten plastic running down the racks, with half-cooked scrambled eggs mixed in.

Another time it was cook the scrambled eggs that came in an oblong plastic bag in the microwave. Should work, right? Well, since the bag was too long to turn on the turntable, it cooked partially and exploded all over the microwave.

Of course, since I did it, it was my fault when things went wrong. And I got to clean up the mess every time!

Love it when the boss hasn’t a clue how to cook!

Common Sense Has Exited The Building

, | Charleston, WV, USA | Right | October 18, 2016

While on my break, I observe a customer walking toward a back door that is an exit-only from the lobby.

It should be noted this door has a stop sign on it and clearly reads “EXIT ONLY” in large, white letters.

As you probably suspect, the customer attempts to enter the lobby using this door. The door, of course, does not open. The customer looks slightly confused as they try again. Naturally the door still does not open. I’m watching closely now because the customer has now tried twice to enter this door. I see the customer scan the door and mouth the words “Exit Only” as he reads the sign before trying again.

At this point the customer tries harder to open the door as though it may be stuck, with no success. The customer starts to walk toward the main doors, gets a few steps away, then rushes back to the door and quickly tries again as though they were trying to sneak up on the door. Finally the customer goes to the front of the restaurant and enters the main doors.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, as I had laughed through the whole things, and went back to work.

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