Please Don’t Be Here For Too Long

, , , | Right | June 19, 2017

(I work at a coffee shop in a rather posh mall. I am quite new at this job and have no experience at working before.)

Customer: “I’d like a [Coffee Beverage] to have here.”

Me: “Of course. May I have your name, ma’am?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Umm, sorry, ma’am. May I have your name?”

Customer: *glares at me* “I’m having it here.”

Me: “I know that, ma’am, but may I please have your name?”

Customer: “WHY WOULD YOU NEED MY NAME WHEN I AM HAVING IT HERE?!”

Me: *startled* “Sorry, but we need it so that we can call out your name at the pick-up counter and give you the correct beverage.”

Customer: “I. Am. Having. It. HERE!”

Me: “I am aware of that but we still need your name, ma’am.”

Customer: *mumbles incoherently while continuing to glare at me*

Me: *writes down any name that came to mind* “Thank you, ma’am, and have a nice day!”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and walked away looking annoyed*

(I was flabbergasted and genuinely confused for the rest of the day as the customer was a regular and had had no problem cooperating on past visits.)

Never Free Of Unit Three

, , , , | Learning | June 19, 2017

Teacher: “There will be three units to complete. Unit 1 is weighted at 40% and Unit 2 is weighted at 60%.”

(Long silence.)

Me: “Does that mean Unit 3 is optional?”

Teacher: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Is Unit 3—”

Teacher: “Are you talking back to me?”

Me: “I’m asking you a question.”

Teacher: “It sounds like you’re talking back to me.”

Me: “…”

Student: “So is it?”

Teacher: “Detention! You and [My Name]!”

(We never found out if the ethereal Unit 3 was optional.)

This Is Ending ‘Up’ Badly

, , , , , | Right | June 18, 2017

(I’m working in a small thrift store where we sell items for generally pretty cheap when a middle-aged man walks in and starts shopping.)

Customer: *puts a jacket on the counter* “I need you to check the price of this now.”

Me: *after scanning the item* “Okay, sir, this jacket comes up to 19.99.”

Customer: “19.99? The rack says 3.99, though.”

Me: “It’s a 3.99 and up rack so the prices could vary.”

Customer: “It says 3.99, though.”

Me: “It’s a 3.99 and up rack, sir.”

Customer: *walks over and grabs five more identical jackets* “Price check these.”

Me: “These are all of the same jacket they’ll all be the same price.”

Customer: “But it says 3.99.”

Me: “It’s an ‘and-up’ rack; the prices vary.”

Customer: “So it’s now 3.99?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “Hmm, okay…” *dumps everything on the counter and walks out*

That’s One Fabuloso Cup Of Coffee

, , , , , | Friendly | June 18, 2017

(I volunteer at the hospital in the department that my mom works in. Her job involves her mostly talking on the phone and typing on the computer. Her coworker’s desk is not too far from my mom’s and I’m putting together a chart when I overhear this. Note that this is not violating any HIPAA policies, since the woman on the phone is not a patient at that hospital, and it’s more of a personal phone call since she’s best friends with the woman’s daughter.)

Coworker: “Hey, how’s [Best Friend]? *the woman says something on the phone* “Wait, what?” *the woman then repeats herself* “You made coffee out of bleach and Fabuloso?!” *at this point, I’m all ears* “I’m going to put you on hold; I’m calling poison control.”

(She then puts her on hold and starts to call poison control. At this point, my mom is even curious.)

Mom: “Who was that?”

Coworker: “That’s [Best Friend]’s mom. Apparently she found that bucket of bleach and Fabuloso and thought it was water and decided to make coffee with it.”

Mom: “But didn’t you write ‘Do not drink’ on it? And why is she calling you and not [Best Friend]?

Coworker: “I did, but she didn’t read it and she didn’t want [Best Friend] to find out.”

(Turned out, my mom was helping her coworker and the best friend paint her mother’s house and they needed to clean the walls. Even though you’re not supposed to, they mixed bleach and Fabuloso which made it easier to clean the walls with. They placed it under the sink so they could use it again that weekend coming up and apparently the mom thought it was water. After talking to poison control, it took them a while to tell them that it was the mother who made the coffee herself and not them, and that said mother was not suicidal. Luckily it wasn’t fatal and all she had was just a headache, but she did say that was the best coffee she ever had. Yes, my mom’s coworker told her friend what happened after she called poison control and went to go check on her mother. To this day, my mom always jokes that the Fabuloso made the coffee delicioso.)

A Potential Explosion Of Complaint

, , , , | Right | June 16, 2017

(I work in a 24-hour service station and as such I see plenty of people lighting cigarettes at the pumps, talking on the phone while pumping, etc, but this story by far takes the cake as the most incredible lack of common sense I have ever seen in my life. It is about 8:30 in the morning and I am changing the bins in the forecourt when a truck driver approaches me.)

Truck Driver: “They’re not allowed to do that, are they?” *points to one of the pumps*

(I look over to see a man connecting jumper cables to his battery, AT THE PUMP.)

Me: “No, they’re not.” *walks over to them* “Hi, guys. I’m sorry, but you can’t try to jump start it here. You need to move it away from the pump.”

Customer: “We can’t start it to move it.”

Me: “I understand that, mate, but you need to put it in neutral and try to roll it away. If you try to jump start it here, it could make a spark and the whole place could go up.”

(At this point the customer pretty much ignores me and continues connecting the leads. Luckily by this stage the man who is kind enough to offer to use his car to jump start it is within earshot.)

Me: “I’m sorry guys, but you REALLY can’t jump start it here!”

Kind Customer: “Oh, we can’t?”

Me: “Not right next to the pump. You need to try and move it away.”

(The customers manage to roll the car away from the pump and jump start it. I just couldn’t believe the complete lack of disregard for everyone’s safety!)

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