Not Very Closed Minded, Part 27

, , , , | Right | January 10, 2018

(I work at a one-hour-turnaround personalised gifts store. It’s closing time and all the computers and lights are turned off, but the shutter is still open. A customer rushes in, anyway.)

Customer: “Are you closed?”

Me: “Yes, but we can take your order for tomorrow.”

Customer: “For tomorrow? But you do things in one hour!”



Not Very Closed Minded, Part 26

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 25

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 24

No ID, No Idea, Part 32

, , , , , | Right | January 10, 2018

(I work as a security guard at a nightclub. A group of guys appearing to be tourists are all standing in line. They look fairly young.)

Me: *to the first guy in the line* “May I see your ID, please?”

Guy: “What? No, I left my passport back at the hotel.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but without a valid ID I can’t let you in.”

Guy: “I swear to you I turned 18 just last month. You have to believe me!”

Me: “I believe you.”

Guy: “YES!”

Me: “The age limit here is 20.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 31
No ID, No Idea, Part 30
No ID, No Idea, Part 29

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 72

, , , , , , | Right | January 9, 2018

(I work as a cashier for a company that requires me to ask a set list of things during the transaction. This particular day, I am working express.)

Me: “Hi there! Did you have a loyalty card?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “And did you need any bags?”

Customer: “One.”

(I finish scanning in his items.)

Me: “And that’s everything? Your total comes to $60.14, please.”

(The customer pulls out his debit card, flashes it at me, and sticks it in the machine. He pauses, and looks back up to the display screen with a confused look on his face.)

Customer: “The ’60’ on the screen. What’s that?”

Me: “That’s your total, sir.”

Customer: “My total? WHAT’S THAT?!”

(I then had to explain what a “total” was. He paid and left after that.)


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 71
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 70
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 69

I’ll Have A Memento Burger

, , , | Working | January 9, 2018

(I go with my friends to a fast food place that specializes in burgers, before going to the movies. There is no one in the lobby, when this interaction takes place.)

Me: “I would like to order a Bacon Double Cheeseburger meal, please.”

Cashier: “Certainly! That will be [amount].”

(My friends and I pay for our meals, and within a couple of minutes, my friends get their order, but I never get mine. I stand there for quite a while, until the same cashier who took my order makes eye contact with me and approaches me.)

Cashier: “Is there something wrong, ma’am?”

Me: “Yes, I never got my Bacon Double Cheeseburger meal.”

Cashier: “That is because we have been out of burgers all day. Would you like to order something else?”

(I wonder why he didn’t mention that, if he knew they had no burgers in stock, but not wanting to cause trouble, I order something else from the menu.)

Cashier: “Okay, with your new meal, that will be [amount].”

Me: “Aren’t you going to refund me for the other meal?”

Cashier: “Why would I do that?”

Me: “Because I paid for the Double Bacon Cheeseburger meal and you waited to tell me after I paid for it. I should be getting a refund.”

Cashier: *looks at me confused* “Well, I’m not sure if I can give you one because I don’t have proof you ordered a Bacon Double Cheeseburger to begin with. Do you have your receipt?”

Me: “You’re the one who rang me up five minutes ago and told me, after the fact, that you had no burgers.”

Cashier: “But I still have no proof you order it. Do you have your receipt?”

Me: *facepalms*

(I handed him the receipt and he went to get a manager for the refund. After telling the manager he never told me until after the fact they had no burgers, she offered to give me a new meal for free. It still blows my mind that a restaurant commonly known for selling hamburgers and cheeseburgers was out of them!)

No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 10

, , , , , , , | Working | January 9, 2018

(I am a territory salesman for a chemical company. I am sound asleep with my wife at just after 5:00 am and the phone rings beside the bed.)

Me: *groggily answering the phone* “Hello.”

Caller: “Hello, it’s [Caller], from [My Employer] in Toronto calling.”

Me: “Do you know what time it is?”

Caller: “Yes. It’s 8:05.”

Me: “Not in Prince George, it isn’t.”

Caller: *hesitating* “Oh… What do you mean?”

Me: *realizing the caller has no clue how the world works* “Well, you know how the sun comes up in the east and goes down at sunset in the west?”

Caller: *obviously unsure where this is leading* “Oh… Yes?”

Me: *trying to impart just a wee bit of wisdom* “Well, it hasn’t gotten here yet.”

Caller: *sounding really confused* “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, the sun may be up in Toronto, but it will be three more hours before we see it, so it’s only ten after five in Prince George.”

(The caller is either completely unaware, or disregards the fact that she has woken me from a sound sleep and by this time, my wife is sitting up in bed beside me with a very puzzled look on her sleepy face.)

Caller: “Well, while I have you on the line, can you pop by this morning to [Customer] in Prince Rupert and drop a copy of an invoice that they didn’t receive?”

Me: “Well, I can get a copy to [Customer], but it won’t be this morning. Do you realize that Prince Rupert is 500 miles from here, which is a whole day’s drive, one way? Why don’t you just fax a copy, and then I won’t have to do anything until my next trip out west?”

Caller: *sounding shocked and perhaps just starting to realize the enormity of Canada* “Oh, okay. I guess I can do that.”

(Many years later, I sometimes think of that young clerk,and imagine her hanging up the phone and sitting there stunned by the incredible knowledge that the whole world doesn’t operate on Toronto time.)

No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 9
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 8
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 7

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