Ignorance To Make You Say “Oh, Baby”

, , , , , | Romantic | December 15, 2017

(My boyfriend and I are laying in bed one day after spending the day together and I am having fairly bad cramps, as my period has just started. I reach over and put his hand on my stomach where I’m cramping to somewhat comfort me.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, that’s where a baby would be!”

Me: “Yeah, well, that’s where it hurts…”

Boyfriend: *with look of confusion on his face* “Oh! Hmm… I guess that makes sense.”

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Baht Nothing

, , , , , , , | Right | December 15, 2017

(I am at a cafe at the departure lounge of the airport, queueing up behind some tourists heading home. Note: All the notes and coins are clearly marked.)

Tourist: “How much is this bottled water?”

Cashier: “It’s [amount], ma’am.”

Tourist: *shoving some change at the cashier* “Here.”

Cashier: “So sorry, but you are short by [amount].”

Tourist: *gives a note* “Fine. Here. I don’t understand your currency. I want my change in [Home Country’s currency].”

Cashier: “I’m sorry; I can only give you change in Thai Baht.”

Tourist: “This is outrageous! What kind of place is this that you can’t give me change in [Home Country’s currency]?!”

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Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 8

, , , , , | Right | December 15, 2017

(I work in a major wireless retail store. A customer comes in with a newer smartphone that he recently purchased. It is no longer working after being dropped in a pool. After going over multiple options, including insurance which ships overnight, the customer opts to buy out his current phone agreement in order to get a new device in store.)

Me: “Today you’ll have to pay the remaining amount of your current device, which is $450, plus the tax on the new phone, and then your monthly payments will start over on the new phone.”

Customer: “But you said I’m buying out of my agreement? I don’t want to have a payment.”

Me: “Yes, sir. You’re buying out your broken device that you still owe on, but then you said you would like to purchase a new phone today in the store instead of going with the insurance.”

Customer: “You mean because I broke my phone, you’re going to charge me for a new one?”

Me: “Yes, sir, electronics do cost money. Again, if you do insurance, you’ll just pay a small deductible and you’ll get a new phone tomorrow; that would be cheaper.”

Customer: “I told you I don’t want to do the God**** insurance, but it’s poor business to charge me for a new phone just because I destroyed my other one.”

Me: “If I go out and wreck my car, and want a brand new one, I still have to pay off the old loan, and then I’d start a fresh loan on a new car. I don’t get a free one.”

Customer: “Well, no one would do that. That’s why you have insurance!”

Me: “…”

Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 7
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 6
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 5

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The Customer Is Always Right, But The Price Isn’t

, , , , , , | Working | December 14, 2017

(My partner and I order a large platter of chicken from the deli at our local grocery store and go to pick it up.)

Partner: “Hello, is the pick-up order for [Partner] at [time], ready?”

Cashier: “Yeah, hold on.”

(The cashier goes and gets our order and sets it at the counter. It has a large container of ranch sitting on top that we did not order.)

Me: “We didn’t order ranch; are you sure you grabbed the right one?”

Cashier: *deep sigh* “Yes! Your total is [price almost half of what it should be].”

Partner: “That can’t be right; are you sure this is our order?”

Cashier: *snippy* “Yeah! It’s !”

Me: “There is no way that’s right; the base price before taxes is $9 more than that. Are you sure you don’t want to check and make sure you grabbed the right one?”

(At this point the cashier looks pretty angry and seems like she is about to say something, when an older deli worker steps up to see why this is taking so long.)

Older Worker: “What are you—” *looks at register, then leans in and squints as they look back and forth between the price and the platter* “What is wrong with you?! That platter is [correct price]! You know that! Fix It!”

(They walk off to continue working and our cashier gets a weirdly smug look while FINALLY looking into the system for our order information. She clicks around, puts in the right total, and straightens out the order.)

Cashier: “That’s what happens when you can’t keep your mouth shut! You could have gotten it for a cheaper price, but—”

Partner: “You realize that you would have got in trouble if we had done that, right?”

Cashier: “What?”

Me: “We’ve both worked retail. Order systems like this have a base amount you should have at the end of the day if all the orders were picked up. They would look to see where that other $13 went and see that it was a transaction you did, and then they could write you up or fire you.”

(At this the cashier goes pale and turns super friendly.)

Cashier: “Well, mistakes happen, and you two are just really good people! Just really, really great people.”

(We slide our card and collect out order.)

Me: “Not everyone you meet in retail is a bowl of sunshine. You have a great day!”

Cashier: “Yeah.”

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I’ll Pop A Cap In Your Gas

, , , , | Right | December 14, 2017

This happens when I am working at a small independent appliance store.

I am on the shop floor when a foreign gentleman comes in enquiring about a new cooker. He has a grant from the local council, from which he can select anything matching the description. For example, he could not get a TV on a grant for cooking appliances.

I ask him what he has in situ, and he is not sure. I take his details, and as he is only a two minute walk from the store, I ask the boss if I can just go down and have a look. He agrees as it is not busy.

He has in place a gas cooker, which, as we do not have the correct certification, we are not allowed to disconnect or reconnect. I explain this to him and offer for us to liase with a gas fitter and arrange for the disconnect and reconnect when we deliver the new one. He declines, saying he can do it.

We get back to the shop and select one that he likes, which fits with what he already has and is within the cost of the grant. A couple of days pass and we receive the new cooker. I call the chap and let him know it’s in. I ask if the old one is disconnected and he says yes. Later that afternoon we go round and it still isn’t disconnected. I explain to him again that because of the certification, we would get in a lot of trouble for touching it, especially as the local housing authority would want to see some kind of certificate, which we cannot provide. I offer again to arrange with one of the gas fitters that we are friendly with to meet up with us and do it. Again, he says no; he will do it.

Another few days pass and the customer calls the shop and says it is ready now. We go to the house and there is a distinct smell of gas. I ask what he has done and he says he has taken the pipe off the old one and blocked the main gas. I have a look, and to my bewilderment, he has stuck a bottle cap into the gas pipe, jamming the valve open, thus leaking gas into the house. I immediately tell him that we will have to leave and call the gas board and fire department. He is refuses, saying we cannot tell him what to do in his own house. I am very concerned at this point, not wanting to get blown up, so all customer service goes out of the window. I shout at the chap telling him that unless he wants to kill us all and blow the house to pieces, we need to get the f*** out and not touch any switches. We all evacuate, and the fire and gas people turn up pretty promptly, closing off the entire road.

In the end the customer got a hefty fine from the fire department, but at least no one was hurt.

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