It’s About To Become An Even Bigger Deal

, , , , , , | Right | November 13, 2017

(I am the manager on duty and have just received a call that we need to evacuate due to a gas leak. I am trying to contact my boss and evacuate the customers when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey, I need to ask you something.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’ve actually been asked to evacuate due to a gas leak. It will have to wait.”

Customer: “Look, that’s not important. I need you to answer a question for me.”

Me: “No, sir, we have been ordered to evacuate. This is urgent. You need to leave the premises immediately.”

Customer: *getting irate* “I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”

Me: *giving up* “It is a big deal, but what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Which one of these lighters works best?”

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Engineered The Perfect Misunderstanding

, , , , , | Learning | November 13, 2017

(I’m checking engineers in at an alumni event where they each receive a name tag, but I am neither an engineer nor an alumni of the school.)

Engineer: “Where’s your name tag?”

Me: “I’m not an engineer.”

Engineer: “Don’t worry; it’s not that hard. Just peel the back off and stick it to your shirt.”

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Bluetooth, Meet Your Great Great Great Grandfather

, , , , | Working | November 13, 2017

(I am working at an office where we are allowed to listen to music. While I am not that tech-savvy, I know more than the average coworker, so they often come to me for tech-questions first. I am in my late-twenties.)

Coworker: *in her mid-twenties* “[My Name], can you help me with the radio?”

Me: “Sure, I can try. What’s wrong?”

Coworker: “Well, this stereo has an option for ‘phono,’ but when I push it, it won’t connect to my phone. My phone can’t find it.”

Me: *staring, until realising she is not joking* “’Phono’ stands for ‘Phonograph.’ It’s so you can hook up a phonograph system?”

Coworker: *blank stare*

Me: “Like, a system you can play an LP record on?”

Coworker: “Oh… OH!” *catching on* “Wow, this system is really old, then!”

Me: “I suddenly feel very, very old.”

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Gluten In The Brain

, , , , | Right | November 13, 2017

(I am working at the customer service counter. My boss is in the back office, consolidating inventory counts. A lady comes storming up to the counter with a large package of bread in her hand, which she slams down in front of me.)

Customer: “I demand that you give me a refund.”

Me: “All right, do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No, I don’t. I picked this bread up, and I got to the front, and I saw that it wasn’t gluten-free. I need my bread to be gluten-free.”

Me: “Okay. Well, did you pay for it with a credit card? I might be able to run the return through that way.”

Customer: “No. I told you: I got to the front and saw your bread wasn’t gluten-free.”

(It dawns on me that she might not be talking about the front of the store being outside in the parking lot.)

Me: “Ma’am, when you say front of the store, do you mean out in the parking lot or…?”

Customer: “No, I mean right over there.” *she points towards the registers*

(At this point, my manager has wandered out to listen to what is going on. He leans up over the counter.)

Manager: “Hi, I’m the manager of the store. I am understanding you properly, that you want me to pay you for picking up a loaf of bread off a shelf and carrying it up here?”

(The lady stood there for a moment, and it was obvious when her brain turned over. She immediately straightened up and marched out of the store, leaving the half-smashed loaf on our counter.)

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Mexican’t Believe This

, , , , , | Working | November 12, 2017

(I grew up in New Mexico, but go to college in Louisiana. This exchange happens during my senior year. Sadly, I have had similar exchanges, but none are as bad as this. This particular chain of local stores sells their hard liquors from behind their customer service counter. The cashier I’m dealing with appears to be in her mid-thirties.)

Me: “Excuse me, do you have any [liquor #1]?”

Cashier: “Yes, and it’s even on sale right now for $2 off!”

Me: “Awesome, I’m glad I found some here! I’ll take one, and one of the small bottles of [liquor #2].”

Cashier: “All right, I just need to see your ID.”

Me: “No problem!” *hands her my New Mexico driver’s license*

Cashier: *looks at license for a minute* “I need to see your passport, too.”

(I am taken aback. I don’t even own a passport, since I haven’t traveled outside of the US.)

Me: “What do you mean?”

Cashier: “Sorry, but I can’t accept this.”

Me: “What? Why not?” *keep in mind, I’m of age*

Cashier: “We only accept passports, Louisiana state IDs, or licenses from the United States.”

Me: “Um, New Mexico is a state.”

Cashier: *in a rather condescending tone* “Uh, no, it’s not.”

Me: “Um, yes, it is.”

Cashier: *sounded irritated*No, it’s not. We had someone in here from there the other day and we needed to see his passport!”

(After spending sometime trying to convince her that New Mexico is, in fact, a part of the United States, and has been since 1912, she starts to get rather nasty with me. I request a manager. She rolls her eyes but eventually pages one, warning me that he is just going to tell me the same thing.)

Manager: “Hello, miss. What seems to be the problem?”

Cashier: *waving my license at the manager* “She’s refusing to show an ID or passport, and she wants to buy alcohol!”

Me: “Uh, no, I showed her my ID, but she doesn’t believe that New Mexico is a state.”

Cashier: “Because it’s not!”

Manager: “Um, [Cashier], it is a state.”

(Amazingly, the cashier starts arguing with him about it, too! After a few more minutes of back and forth, the manager sends the cashier away with the promise of a “talk” later. She leaves with a huff and a death glare at me.)

Manager: “Sorry about that. I’ll get your alcohol.”

(He checks the birthdate on my ID, hands it back, and rings my alcohol through.)

Me: *I’m pretty annoyed, but I also have to laugh at the entire situation* “Well, I’ll definitely have an interesting story to tell at the party tonight!”

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