Information Underload

, , , | Right | December 30, 2009

Me: “Okay, ma’am, just slide your card and either select credit or enter your PIN.”

Customer: “It says credit. This is a debit.”

Me: “I know, ma’am. Just enter your PIN for debit.”

Customer: “But it says credit!”

Me: “I know. Just put in your PIN like on any debit machine.”

Customer: “But the button on the screen says credit!”

(Seeing no end to this conversation, I put my hand over the screen and block her view of it.)

Me: “Okay, now enter your PIN.”

(She did so, and not surprisingly her groceries were paid for.)

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H2Slow

, , , | Right | December 28, 2009

Customer: “Hello. I bought this phone from you and I accidentally got some orange juice on it.”

Me: “Okay, well, if it didn’t get too much on it, it might be okay. Is it turning on?”

Customer: “No.”

(I take the phone and it has a lot of moisture damage.)

Me: “It looks like there’s quite a lot of juice on this.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s not juice. I ran it under the tap to get the juice off!”

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Not To La-boar The Point

, , , | Right | December 28, 2009

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store]. What would you like, sir?”

Customer: “Actually, I have a question. What is ham made of?”

Me: “It’s made of pigs.”

Customer: “Pigs? What are pigs made of?”

Me: “Pigs, the animal.”

Customer: *confused look*

Me: “Oink oink.”

Customer: “Oh! Does that mean it’s not vegan?”

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Deafening Silence

, , , , , , | Right | December 23, 2009

Customer: “It’s so loud in here!”

Me: “I know, right? Christmas is crazy for us every year.”

Customer: “It’s so loud. Why do people have to talk so loudly?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, it’s just because there are so many people.”

Customer: “Forget this! I’m turning off my hearing aid. You guys should really try to keep the noise level down.”

Me: “Right you are, sir! If that’ll be all, your total is [total].”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Your total, sir? It’s [total].”

Customer: “Speak up! I can’t hear you!”

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Not Exactly The Pick Of The Litter

, , , | Right | December 17, 2009

Customer: “I’m looking for the right kind of food for my new rottweiler puppy.”

Me: “No problem, I’d be happy to help you. And since your little guy here is a large breed dog, he needs to stay on the puppy food for two years before switching to the adult formula.”

Customer: “Large breed?”

Me: “Yes, this little guy is a rottweiler mix. He will probably be around 90-110 pounds.”

Customer: “Oh… so, if I keep him on puppy food, will he stay small like this?”

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