You Have No Experiences Except This Bad One

, , , , , , | Working | January 24, 2018

(I’ve been to a few job interviews so far and still can’t get my first job. I’m fresh out of high school.)

Manager: “On your application, it states that you have no job experience.”

Me: “That is correct. I’ve been focused on my school work.”

Manager: “Well, I don’t hire people who don’t have any experience as a server or cashier. I need you to have at least a year of experience.”

(I am too stunned to say anything. Why would you ask me to come here if you weren’t even going to give me a job?)

Manager: “I know I asked you to come here for a job interview, but that’s because I just want to see who you are.”

(He goes through the rest of the questions and I just internally scream.)

Manager: “Well, it was nice meeting you, [My Name]. Hopefully I will see an application from you again.”

(I never did apply there again.)

Banana Drama

, , , | Working | January 24, 2018

(I’m the safety officer for my company, and have just sent two of my coworkers for an external safety course.)

Coworker #1: “So, I took that course. It was very informative. [Coworker #2], though, he just caused an incident, right after we returned.”

Me: “What happened?”

Coworker #1: “We were joking around and pretended to throw a banana peel at him, and [Coworker #2] said, ‘I wonder if these are really slippery.’ So’ he put it on the floor and stepped on it. Now he’s literally twisted his back and ankle stepping on a banana peel.”

Me: *speechless*

Coworker #1: “We work with some real geniuses, [My Name].”

License To Kill The Sale, Part 2

, , , , | Right | January 23, 2018

(I’m a cashier at a well-known toy store chain. This particular store is an express location set up just for the holiday season, as part of an outdoor mall. It is not uncommon for shoppers to make their purchases and leave the items at the store to pick up later. This customer is an adult.)

Customer: “If I buy something here, can I leave it with you until I finish shopping?”

Me: “Sure. I would just need to look at your ID before and after, to confirm who you are and which order is yours.”

Customer: “But I don’t have my ID.”

Me: “You have no form of identification at all? A driver’s license?”

Customer: “No, I don’t carry any around with me. I shouldn’t need one to just come get some toys!”

(I’m baffled that an adult had no way to identify themselves to any official entity. She ended up leaving without buying anything. I hope she wasn’t driving home without a license!)

License To Kill The Sale

That’s Not How A Bookstore Works…

, , , , , | Right | January 23, 2018

(I work at a well-known bookstore. This occurs while I am covering someone’s break at customer service.)

Customer: “Hello, I was wondering where your ghost-writer section is.”

Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have a section of books that were written with ghost-writers, but I can help you find one. What genre are you looking for?”

Customer: “I’m not looking for a book. I’m looking for a ghost-writer.”

(I begin to process that she is asking me for a person.)

Customer: “I’m writing a book and it is too hard, so I thought I’d come here and find someone to write it for me.”

(I have to take a few minutes and explain to her that we don’t write the books, only sell them. I’m not quite sure she gets it. After she leaves, I go back to my coworker and tell him what happened.)

Coworker: “You should have sent her to me. I would’ve charged her $10,000 a chapter!”

Carting Off Like Crazy

, , | Right | January 23, 2018

(We’ve been having problems with the luggage carts going missing; people keep stashing them in their rooms and not letting anyone else have them.)

Me: *on phone* “Ma’am, please bring the cart back after you’re done.”

Guest: *completely taken aback* “Oh, we have to bring it back?!”

(Please, people, bring them back!)

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